No Need to Read Between The Lines

Late in the night I pay
the unrest I owe
to the life that has never lived
and cannot live now.
What the world
could be
is my good dream
and my agony when, dreaming it,
I lie
awake and turn
and look into the dark.
I think of a luxury
in the
sturdiness and grace of necessary things, not
in frivolity. That would heal
the earth, and heal men.
But the end, too, is part
of the pattern,
the last
labor of the heart:
to learn to lie still,
one with the
earth
again, and let the world go.

Awake at Night
Wendell Berry

Early in the morning I wake after a mere five hours sleep. My mind immediately jumps to attention...such a good soldier. My head is racing with worry...rue with regret...replete with ideas for tomorrow, the next day, the next month, the next year. I open my eyes only to behold the moonbeams of the night before wax and wane as the clouds fade in and fade out. I feel the cool, yet damp dawning breeze on my exposed skin, breathe deeply, and resolve to clear my head knowing that this is my time to rest. Knowing that the only thing between me and restoration are my very own thoughts. I eventually drift back off to la la land only to wake again with the birdsong at the new day's dawn. I think how fortunate am I to hear such sweet music and also how lucky that I have a window I can close. Another cleansing breath and I sleep some more. So fast this time that I must fight my way back to lucidity when it is finally time to wipe the sleep from my eyes for good for the day. My coffee comes before my cat's food on mornings like this. What does it really matter either for Peanut is holed up on the basemant steps now that the thunder has rolled in and Tigger is busy soliciting his morning love. As I sit sipping and coming to life, I open my book of Wendell Berry poems for a little inspiration. I open my book to Awake at Night randomly, and yet I know that there is really nothing arbitrary about this morning meeting at all. Can I tell you how much I love when this happens? Do you know THE feeling...the one where you know you are doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing precisely when you are doing it because the universe is talking to you and you are listening?