(Excerpt from personal journal)
It's just after 3:00 in the morning. My Mom has been making this noise for the past couple hours. It's a cross between a giggle and a moan. I'm trying to figure out if she is in delight or despair. Then I worry that she is feeling both: delight for the grace of God and despair over leaving loved ones behind. I guess one could say that I am in the very same position.
What I really want to write about is how I know I am not alone because I do believe. God is listening. One could say that I have had a crisis of faith during this 11 month, 5 day battle (but who's counting?) I've gone from complete cynicism to a being a bigger believer than I have ever been in all of my 39 years. I have felt spirits, been shored up, ad libbed beautiful, moving prayers and submitted to HIS will. It has taken me almost 4 decades (but who's counting?) to realize that I can talk to God anytime about anything, and when I do, I feel the load lessened.
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