Monday, April 29, 2013

On My Mind Monday

For a woman to say she is searching for a “good enough” life is not failure — it is maturity and self-knowledge.

Elsa Walsh

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I read this piece earlier and it reminded me of something I've kept with me from Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project: Don't let perfect ruin good.  No, don't.  Wouldn't that be a shame?

Good enough.  A couple seemingly benign words that pack a punch.  The enough qualifying and patronizing and marginalizing the good.  There is a feeling of judgement to say that any task, effort, or accomplishment is good enoughGood enough suggests that whatever it was could certainly be better.

And yet I have had the experience of age Walsh more eloquently refers to as maturity and self-knowledge to believe that good enough is good enough, but there is a caveat.  The moral lies in the compassionate gift of self-acceptance.  As women, we have to give ourselves and other women permission to be imperfect without fear of reproach or reprisal.

I think about the expectations I have for my children.  How many times have I told them that I am happy as long as they are doing their best?  Countless, and I am.  Their best...not mine.  Why wouldn't I give myself the same grace? 

Frankly, I'm not fool enough to believe there's any such thing as having it all.  At least not all the time.  Life is a balancing act regardless of so many sets of circumstances.  As soon as I feel like I've achieved equilibrium in mine, harmony is disrupted. I'm reminded that the only failure I risk, is to give up trying to be good enough  whatever that means at present.











Sunday, April 28, 2013

2 day pass

the past couple days were sunny and springy in both weather and mood.
inside and out.
the furnace was turned off, and windows and patio doors were left open.
we spent most of our days and eves in the fresh air.
i am ever so slightly sunburned and completely ok with that.



saturday marked the official start of the mets 2013 season.
the team lost their opener, but came back on sunday to earn a win.
t. bone made me most proud on the mound during the first game when he worked through his frustration, and started throwing strikes again instead of balls.
he stayed at it almost as cool as a cucumber and that was a personal victory.
all the players played hard.
oh how i have missed these 6 inning afternoons.
when they weren't playing ball, it seemed they were practicing.
so it was just me and my girl when she wasn't off with friends.
miss bit and i went for a bike ride one night and a 3 hour hike one day.






she was eager to check out the frog situation at mystery pond, but after she got her hands on a little box turtle, we had to investigate every single pond, swamp and puddle on the premise.
we've had arc-sized rains people so standing water is in no short supply.
yet she's rather passionate about this place and its critters so i indulged her desires.
i tried real hard to keep it mum that she only caught the turtle because he was feet up and a little stuck in the mud.
she was ever convinced that we would go from water source to water source catching turtle after turtle.
while that wasn't the case, we did hap upon our first ever large snapping turtle sunning near the shore of the remote bird blind pond.
i thought he was mossy driftwood, but miss bit immediately identified the creature and warned me to keep my distance.
i felt like i was spending the day with survivorman...or rather survivorwoman.
other than that we came across a single tadpole, many ducks, a silly wood pecker, some geese, thelma and louise the center's pet hooded rats, miss bit's teacher and some friends.
she can hardly wait until she gets to spend days here for summer camp.
after getting sufficiently muddy and sun kissed, miss bit came home to cruise around the bario on first her scooter and then her bike.
all good, almost clean fun.
yesterday we hosted an impromptu bbq with my brother and sil..
the first grilled bugers of the season were perfectly done and even the sweet corn was tasty.
t. bone called 911 when we realized we came home with plain chocolate custard instead of the flavor of the day we wanted.
my son took me seriously when i said call kopps, which happens to be the name of the establishment.
we stood in a line that snaked practically around the parking lot for that salted caramel custard so we were not amused.
the officer that showed up at our door was not amused either.
i think that was a once in a childhood prank.
coach and i stopped at the italian market while the kids were in sunday school this morning.
we stocked up on some meatballs, sauce and such.
he had an italian sausage sandwich topped with italian beef and giardiniera for breakfast.
believe it or not, it was a good choice, even if it didn't go well with my coffee
the spaghetti and meatballs were served for tonight's dinner since we were cheering on our team until 7:00.
now t. bone is crashed in bed with the light on, miss bit is out cold in her bed and coach is comatose on the couch.
i'd say that's a sure sign of contentment.
if only weekends like this could be bottled up and saved.


Saturday, April 27, 2013

This Week's Menu


Tis' the season...baseball season that is, which means it's time for simpler meals....easy to make ahead and eat on the fly or reheat.  Many nights we are in the stands cheering on our Mets.  The other nights there's apt to be practice so we are down one or two or three.  T. Bone is on two teams.  Coach is the coach of both of them.  Miss Bit is on a team too.  So something has got to give.  I still aim to serve healthy, balanced meals, but I will be stocking the freezer with their favorite chicken pastina soup from our local Italian market and lots of fresh fruits and veggies just in case.

Braised chicken thighs with kale and brown rice.

Grilled pork chops, steamed brocoli and cauliflower, baked potatoes.

Stromboli and salad.
Pasta.  Kid friendly with tomato sauce and adult approved with aspragus and poached egg.


Friday, April 26, 2013

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

Lots of sunshine and baseball this weekend.

Clean sheets, quilts and  comforters on all the beds.

More deep spring cleaning this week.

A long walk along the lakefront early one morning.

New haircuts for both kids, and the fact that they both like them now after initially disliking them.

Not losing my temper with T. Bone when said haircut made him act like he was 6 instead of 12.

Hubb's peanuts.

Boys night out girls night in.  Jess joined me for a little wine and cheese anoche.  I picked up a really tasty cheddar with stilton a bottle of red and a bottle of white.

I wasn't the only one having trouble with my daughter's third grade math homework...Aunt Jess was too.

Miss Bit made her own breakfast twice this week.  Now I have to inspire her brother to do the same.

Banana berry smoothies.

I finished Gillian Flynn's Dark Places.  It was dark.  Now I will start Amy Tan's Saving Fish From Drowning.  I don't think I've ever read it.


Thinking about this quote I read this week: An old Tibetan monk tells me the soul has no memory.  The dead do not feel their past.
To A Mountain in Tibet
Colin Thubron

Bedtime has greatly improved for my Bit.  She is having little to no anxiety at the end of the day. It is such a relief for her and also for me and Coach.






Thursday, April 25, 2013

Synecdoche

Synecdoche: a part representing the whole.  A sail representing a fleet.  A crown representing a king.  A dinner representing a mother.
Poser
Claire Dederer 

As I drove along the lakefront this morning, I was taken aback by the cool slate color of the still icy water.  I was struck by how the ripples appeared to be devoid of color...completely colorless.  Our lake has been quite the chameleon this week changing from blue as sky to green as grass to gray as...really what is gray?  Just like that and the shimmery hope of yesterday's liquid expanse is today's vast vacancy.

The rain clouds stalled out over the lake were releasing their moisture.  I could see sheets not drops falling from them.  Along my route, some roads were rain soaked and others bone dry.  It was rather hit or miss.  The sun was straining to make an appearance.   Despite rain and cold, I was not stuck in a somber mood. 

Au contraire...I was singing along to You Are The Sunshine Of My Life and feeling rather warm and bright.  Everything about the decades old ballad is happy and joy filled.  I was humming and remembering the first time I recall hearing this song.  I'm stretched out on the floor of the living room at the end of a hot summer day.  The sun is still streaming into the room, flooding it so that the gold shag 70s carpet looks like spun precious metal.  I'm fresh out of the bath dressed in a pair of shorty pajamas covered with bright flowers.  My Mom is in the kitchen making a late dinner after a long day at work.  Something light and simple on this humid night I am sure.  I'm listening to her sing along as drawers open and dishes clang.  I feel safe and happy...warm and bright.

This image of my 7, 8 or 9 year old self is a treasured synecdoche of my childhood in the same way that this morning's scenery...today's back drop...is of life's landscape. Today this little part...this song...most definitely represents my Mom, and it just happens to do so beautifully.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Daily Dose of Inspiration...

A quote...

(picture taken during my walk along our inland sea this morning)

Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board. For some they come in with the tide. For others they sail forever on the same horizon, never out of sight, never landing until the Watcher turns his eyes away in resignation, his dreams mocked to death by Time. That is the life of men. Now, women forget all those things they don't want to remember, and remember everything they don't want to forget. The dream is the truth. Then they act and do things accordingly.

Zora Neale Hurston
Their Eyes Were Watching God

A recipe...


(last night's leftovers...today's lunch)

Green Rice:

Heat up a T. of oil of preference.  Add 3 cloves (more or less) of minced garlic and saute a couple minutes.  Add about 1/2 pound (or 2 cups) of finely chopped and then steamed kale.  Saute a couple minutes.  Add 2 cups of cooked brown rice.  Saute a couple more minutes.  Add 2 T. (more or less) of soy sauce.  Enjoy.  (This is Gwyneth's (Paltrow) recipe that I have only adopted.  She adds some chopped scallion at the same time as the kale.  Numerous of my family members would reject this rice were I to add a member of the onion family so I don't and simply pat myself on the back that they are eating kale.)  


A suggestion...

Find your Stevie Wonder CD.  Or maybe it's a tape.  Or cue him up on your I whatever.  Just play him.  Any song you listen to from any period in his long accomplished career is pretty much guaranteed to make you smile.  Like smile with all your heart.  Miss Bit was in the groove after seeing him on DWTS for the first time Monday night.  I've had a CD in my car ever since, and I've felt more joy while listening (and yes, singing along and maybe a little car dancing too) to him than I remember for quite some time.

A question...

Don't worry...it's an easy one.  Where are you finding your inspiration these days?  What is awakening your mind, heart and spirit?


Monday, April 22, 2013

On My Mind Monday

Beginning is hard.  But it's also lucky.  Because you have the chance to build something beautiful from the ground up, with no old mistakes, no bad habits. 
Claire Dederer 
Poser

Isn't that the beautiful opportunity each day's dawn presents?