Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

School spirit days. Today is sunglasses day - it's supposed to be sunny and 70.

These 2 have been staking their claim in our bed every evening. Last night they turned in while we were having dinner...it wasn't even dark yet! I thought they were supposed to sleep all day.

When my kids like my cooking. During dinner one night this week, Miss Bit asked if she could have some more garlic noodles if she finished the rest of her dinner. I told her she could if she was still hungry. Do you know what she said? "Oh I want some even if I'm not still hungry!"

When my kids are self aware. The other night T. Bone told me that he knew why we sent him to a new school. He confessed, "You wanted me to learn more. I know it cuz' I'm already learning so much more."

A mid-week 6 miler with my hubby before dinner. When I walk and talk with him, the miles go quickly.

Crossing projects off my list. I edited and ordered close to 1000 pictures last weekend.

A walk down memory lane...time to relive lots of great times and trips.

Exercising my right to vote and effect C-H-A-N-G-E!

Spending time with the ladies of my family at one of our favorite art fairs. I was hemming and hawing over a couple rings. I made my choice and then later my Aunt surprised me with the runner up while we caught up over cocktails and snacks.

While my kids were having fun with their cousins at my in-laws Saturday, I stayed home and in my pjs all day long. The house was completely silent all day long as I worked. I finally turned on the t.v. and poured a glass of wine at 8:00.

Fall scented candles.

I finished The Book Thief sobbing last night. The Epilogue made the other 500 some odd pages worth it. Especially these quotes are resonating with me:

'Don't punish yourself,' she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness, too. That was writing.

His soul sat up. It met me. Those kinds of souls always do - the best ones. The ones who rise up and say, 'I know who you are and I am ready. Not that I want to go, of course, but I will come.' Those souls are always light because more of them have been put out. More of them have already found their way to other places.

I wanted to tell the book thief many things, about beauty and brutality. But what could I tell her about those things that she didn't already know? I wanted to explain that I am constantly overestimating and underestimating the human race - that rarely do I ever simply estimate it. I wanted to ask her how the same thing could be so ugly and so glorious, and its words and stories so damning and so brilliant.

And also the last line of the book, but I won't give it away.

Now I'm onto The Lacuna. I was able to get well into it last night thanks to being sick.

Nyquil.

Survivors, and I don't mean the contestants on cbs.

Organization.

Purging. There was a cake mix from 2000 in my pantry...it was time.
Sneaking in to pry his book out of his hands and turn off T. Bone's light at night without disturbing him every night this week because he's so tuckered out at the end of the day. When he sleeps he still looks like my wee little boy. Then I stop in and cover Miss Bit up, kiss her and smell her sweet breath. She'll always be my Lil Bit.

I drove past my erstwhile friend the other day and was like 'Wow' because of a recent dream and an errant sighting over the weekend. The uncanny timing made more of an impact on me than actually seeing her face. See what happens when you put that energy out there. There's something to be said for manifesting our own destinies.

Miss Bit wants to be a butterfly for Halloween. Butterflies have been reminding me of my Mom lately so I was touched by that although I've yet to see any pink and purple ones.

T. Bone wants to be a scary clown carrying a chain saw. Hmmm...not much to feel warm and fuzzy with on that front.

Inspiration in the kitchen this week: chicken Marsala, spinach quiche, spicy tomato soup, roasted veggie quesadillas.

Last night T. Bone gave me a big, looong bear hug before bed and whispered in my ear in his baby voice, "You're the best Mommy ever." (That was even after I denied him a malt for dessert.)

This morning Miss Bit came barreling up the stairs to tattle on her brother. She said, "He's really bursting my bubbles Mom!" I looked at her rather confused and she clarified, "Mom he's annoying me!" Like what's wrong with me...Duh!

A Long Night

I didn't sleep much last night.

I could blame Tigger and Peanut who made an orange tabby sandwich out of me most of the night. That is until Tigger decided to wake me up so I could pet him every hour on the hour. He's charming like that...good thing he's cute and cuddly too.

Or I could chalk it up to the cold that came on like a freight train in the last 12 hours. Scratchy throat, stuffy nose, watery eyes...you know the annoying drill. Choo choo!

But the culprit was really my Dad's meatloaf. I had an "aha" moment while I was fast and ever so temporarily asleep. The last time I remember my Dad making meatloaf was when we found out my step-mom had the big C. Today she's healthy. We may need comfort while we lick our wounds today, but we cannot give up on tomorrow. Right? I tossed and turned much of the night trying to find the positive in all the negative and resisting the urge to throw up my hands in a "it's not fair" defeat. My Dad didn't even go there. I'm still haunted by where he went: "It's not supposed to be this way. We're at a point in our lives where things are supposed to be getting easier not harder." I had nothing to say to that. It's so American dream true. So I'm keeping my distance today and not just because my nose is running like a sieve (no I didn't take anything Love), but also because I'm rough around the edges yet completely fragile to my core.

Anatomy of a Day

I woke up before 7:00 this morning rested and ready to start the day. I was able to enjoy a cup of coffee and the last few pages of the chapter that put me to sleep last night before the rest of the house woke up. Miss Bit takes longer to stir so I went in to rouse her first. As I approached her bed, she surprised me with a sweet and cheerful "Boo." Not only was she awake...she was also eager to get up and out of bed. She was itchin' to get dressed. I knew the brand new outfit decked out in glittery symbols from her favorite new store was what was really responsible for my girl's extra sunny demeanor on this overcast morning. Tigger woke up T. Bone who appeared at breakfast in his preppy blue plaid shorts proudly paired with a black and green grunge skater shirt. I complimented his style and strongly resisted the urge to tell him it didn't match. Shirts that look like they've been puked on with peace signs and mismatched clothes couldn't put a wrinkle in this morning.

Despite the fact that we were ready 15 minutes early, we still managed to be 2 minutes late for school's 8:40 start. That ended up working out just fine since I had to be in attendance for 4th grade orientation starting at 8:50. T. Bone acted like I was invisible when he passed me in the hallway. He was the line leader as the 4th graders walked to art. Every classmate after him smiled, waved or somehow greeted his or her parent(s). I sat down at my son's tidy desk and promptly spilled my steaming hot tea all over it. All eyes were on me so it was clear that no, I was not invisible after all. Still I left the meeting feeling like we'd won the lottery with Mrs. J. She's a seasoned teacher who really knows and loves her stuff. After several years of newbie know it alls, it's a welcome and much needed change. There was no way I was going to cry over being snubbed by my son or spilled tea today.

I stopped off at the mall to pick up a couple gifts, stopped off at home for a quick lunch and then headed out for a hike at the Audubon. It was such a beautiful day that I couldn't resist even as I knew there were other things I should really be attending to. I made it as far as Mystery Lake before I took out my camera for a picture. It wouldn't turn on. It didn't take me long to realize that my battery was in the charger at home. The disappointment only lasted for a minute and I went on my long way. I really was the only hiker at the preserve this afternoon, and that always puts a spring in my steps. It had only been a couple days since my last visit yet the late summer trees were already more yellow than green. Dried, fallen leaves littered the paths and trails so the animals had loud advance warning of my approach. I'm sure that's why I only saw a couple deer's tails as they scurried deeper into the woods to avoid me. Today I could count the monarchs I saw on one hand. Even the fast approaching change of seasons and my inability to capture it with my camera could not derail me this afternoon.

There was time for chores and a shower before I had to pick up the kids and get Miss Bit to her Daisy meeting. When we walked in, my girl was received like a celebrity. All of her old friends at her old school, were happy to see her. When moms started arriving, I was sensitive to the fact that my greeting was not anywhere near as welcoming, and more along the lines of a chilly, "What are you doing here?" I refused to catch their cold, condemning cattiness.

Dinner was delicious if I don't say so myself. I made a tasty, super easy chicken Marsala with sauteed zucchini and baked capellini that was the perfect combination of crunchiness and creaminess. It was T. Bone and Miss Bit's first zucchini experience. She claimed to love them despite the fact that she only ate one and instead gobbled up her spinach and red pepper. His single slice of squash ended up in his napkin after some serious gagging. After we prayed, chatted and enjoyed the meal the kids finished their homework. He proudly published his first writing assignment of the school year, and she tallied until her heart's content. There was no way a messy kitchen or the realization that they pretty much skipped the 6 Traits the last few years of my son's education was going to weigh heavily on me even as I think it's rather obvious the value I put on the written word and cleanliness.

We all got into our cozies and met back in the family room for the season premier of Survivor, and we all cheered on the "old" tribe. Before bed, we snuggled (cats included) in our bed to hear the last chapter of the not so riveting Jake Drake, Miss Bit's book club selection this month. Not even the realization that I would be on the "old" team by more than a decade could make me pause tonight.

After we tucked T. Bone and Miss Bit in, I called my Dad. I usually call on Thursdays. He started off telling me about his "killer" meatloaf, and I followed by boasting about my "company worthy" Marsala. Then he got quiet and said, "There's something you should know." I already knew what he was going to say and yet my heart skipped a few beats. My step-mother lost her job in the insurance industry the day before thanks to the state of our economy and the turn of events in the health care industry. Those of you who know me will certainly know that I am exercising great restraint here. And that folks...yes, that was enough to take me from a high yo to a very, very low yo.

I'm going to go lose my thoughts in my book now. I'm almost finally finished with The Book Thief. If you haven't read it...it's a sure way to drown your sorrows. I feel like Leisel narrowly escaping air raids. Eventually the bombs fall on Molching. No one's safe, sheltered or immune.

Pillow Talk

After I tucked her in last night, Miss Bit came looking for me with a quivering lip clutching her Alice. I got her back in the coziness of her bed and I stayed with her to have this sad and sweet conversation.

Miss Bit: I just really miss Nanny right now.

Mama: I know how you feel Baby...I miss Nanny all the time.

Miss Bit: I just wish I could talk to her again.

Mama: You can talk to her any time and she can hear you. She's always with you...you know where?

Miss Bit adoringly: My heart.

Mama: I talk to her all the time and sometimes she talks back.

Miss Bit excitedly: How?!

Mama: Well, she'll send me a little sign to remind me she's always with me and she's always listening. Sometimes I'll be thinking of her and all of the sudden the wind will blow through the chimes that were hers on a calm day. It was like the music the chimes made was her voice saying "I'm here."

Miss Bit: But how come when you go to heaven you have to stay there forever? Forever is a really long time. It's like forever and E-V-E-R!

Mama: I don't think you ever want to leave heaven. Don't you think it's a pretty spectacular place?

Miss Bit dreamily: Ohhhh yeaaaah. God's there and it's special. I'm gonna say my prayers now.

Mama: Good idea...and why don't you say a special prayer for Nanny.

Miss Bit: MOM - I always do!

This interaction with my best girl broke my heart into pieces and warmed it at the very same time.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

Yards full of neighborhood kids. They may go to different schools now, but they all convene in our yard after school just like old times.

These stunning orchids and my always thoughtful frister Jess who brought them over this week to cheer me up.


Fall break (yes, already) and 3 trips to the Audubon this week. It was a beautiful day to return to the preserve for a family hike. It was nice that Aunt A. joined the kids and I for the trail tour. There was considerable foot traffic so we didn't see as much wildlife. Miss Bit fell off the pier and into a marsh. She wasn't happy, but only a tad bit wet and muddy. Aunt A. saved her, T. Bone rescued her favorite headband and I refrained from taking any pictures despite the fact that I really wanted to. Noodles for lunch made it all better and she almost forgot about it completely after a trip to our favorite toy store where she stocked up on smelly stickers.

Nuestros gatos anaranjados. T. Bone and Miss Bit are learning a foreign language. The kids have Spanish twice a week at their new school. T. Bone is a little behind since his classmates already have 3 years of the language under their belts. We're trying to practice at home to bring him up to speed.

Pizza night last weekend. We made our own using our favorite sauce and ingredients and a new crust recipe that just may be a keeper.

T. Bone spent the weekend at Camp Grandpa where they went out for pizza, golfed, biked, watched football, played poker, shot slingshots, watched movies, ate Grandpa's Famous Breakfasts 3 mornings in a row and just had fun. So much fun that T. Bone was choking back tears as we made our way up the driveway Monday. When I asked him what was wrong he said, "I just had so much fun." I shared with him that we used to go to my Grandma's every weekend for Sunday dinner, and I always cried when it was time to come home. Those are good kinda tears!

A shorter than usual workweek. My Monday was also my Friday.

Bread baking weather. This week I made 2 different kinds of banana bread and a batch of zucchini bread too.

Grandpa gifted T. Bone a new set of "old" clubs. He is over the moon about his "Big Barbara," aka Big Bertha. He's also obssessed with LamBROghinis!

A date at an art fair with the girls this weekend.

Charades for dessert after dinner at my brother and sil's last weekend. Just for the record...I NEVER watched Doogie Houser EVER!

T. Bone started his guitar lessons this week. Kumbaya!

My in laws joined us for an impromptu dinner this week after kidsitting. They liked my cherry mojitos, hubby's ribs and my coconut macaroons.

Authenticity and genuine interaction.

No desire to keep up with the Joneses.

A Walk in the Woods, Through the Fields, Along the Shore

The trees are still green -
though not for long.

The south westerly wind whips warm today,
but random wisps remind me of last night's chill.
When it blows along the wooded trails, the aging oaks let go of some of their acorns.
Dappled sunshine sneaks onto the forest floor through the thick foliage overhead in whimsical patterns: nature's beautiful stained glass.

A sea of sun-kissed golden rods dance with the mosaic winged monarchs out in mass.
There are so many, I lose count -
Soon they'll be travelling south for the winter.
Dragon flies as big as hummingbirds swoop through the air feasting in mid frenzied flight.
The wind rushes through the prairie grass creating rhythmic music-
When I close my eyes, I swear I'm seaside listening to the tide roll in and back out over and over again.

I feel the ebb of summer flowing towards fall with each one of my heightened senses.

The mossy backed turtles soak up the end of season rays as they drift deliriously on rotting logs.
My every step around Boardwalk Pond is met with a meep, splash -
The toads don't trust my stride so they sound off and then sink beneath the sooty silt.
I scan the murky, pollen-filled water only to find my gaze met by hundreds of little, bulging eyes.
It wasn't that long ago that they were tadpoles.

A lone snake slithers by disappearing into the thick brush leaving me startled.
Three plump turkeys cross the path in front of me and I think how lucky they are to live protected on this preserve.
The Grassland Loop is a labyrinth and I am the Minotaur.
I'm not the only creature exploring the maze:
I spy a doe eyed deer bedding down on the edge of Bird Blind Pond.
Her molten, milk chocolate eyes reveal her surprise at being spotted-
But she's not fearful enough to flee.
This is, after all, her domain.

As I circle the Woodland Loop, I'm aware of the mounting decomposition.
The air is tinged with a rancid over ripeness -
It wreaks of damp mold and dusky decay.
The path is littered with lost downy feathers and thick rolling moss.
Hollowed out tree stumps become critter shelters -
It is time for nesting.
The wind howls and the fragile overhead branches creek and moan despite their fortitude.
A red tailed hawk launches from the canopy above in search of lunch -
Soon her catches will be harder to come by.

Along the lake, gulls squawk in alarm as I approach them on the beach devouring what's left of a repulsive fish carcass.
The wind off the water makes the hairs on my arms stand on end even as the mid-day sun warms my face.
I breathe in deeply and exhale slowly -
So thankful for this glorious late summer day, ever thankful to be a vibrant part of this miraculous circle of life.

(Also thankful to be participating in Tuesday's Unwrapped today.)

Grateful Friday

Today I am grateful for...

Surviving the first week of school. It was an emotional roller coaster for me that has left me exhausted, but also excited, and because I'm moving forward I'll leave it at that. I think T. Bone and Miss Bit are sharing in these very same sentiments. I'm also grateful for the many great activities we packed into the last week before school started...it really was the grand finale to a summer to remember.

Miss Bit's 1st ride of the day: the merry go round...double decker merry go round that is!

T. Bone's 1st go round is on The Demon...a ride I've been riding since I was practically his age. We all wonder why whenever we venture to an amusement park, the temperatures stagnant in the 90s???

When I tempt T. Bone with a ride on King Chaos, he unfortunately takes the bait.

He even pleases his sister (and appeases his parents) by taking a few turns beside Miss Bit.

Who knew...this girl likes to spin? She's come a long, far way since Disney!

The rest of us fulfill our Tower of Terror desires on The Giant Drop.

This may or may not be used against him at some future time and place.

I lost count of how many times Miss Bit rode the carousel.

One last end of summer hurray at our favorite little lake on another hot and sweaty day!

T. Bone is perfecting his back flop. There may or may not have been tears after that landing.

Miss Bit and BFF B. ready to take the plunge.

T. Bone and his friend J. toss the football around.

Mermaids?

Mummies?

Models?

The boys conspire to become kings of the raft.

The queens prevail.

Happy Birthday Darlink!

Can you tell they wanna go home?

I'm also grateful for the fact that it's the weekend again and a loooong one at that!