A Long Night

I didn't sleep much last night.

I could blame Tigger and Peanut who made an orange tabby sandwich out of me most of the night. That is until Tigger decided to wake me up so I could pet him every hour on the hour. He's charming like that...good thing he's cute and cuddly too.

Or I could chalk it up to the cold that came on like a freight train in the last 12 hours. Scratchy throat, stuffy nose, watery eyes...you know the annoying drill. Choo choo!

But the culprit was really my Dad's meatloaf. I had an "aha" moment while I was fast and ever so temporarily asleep. The last time I remember my Dad making meatloaf was when we found out my step-mom had the big C. Today she's healthy. We may need comfort while we lick our wounds today, but we cannot give up on tomorrow. Right? I tossed and turned much of the night trying to find the positive in all the negative and resisting the urge to throw up my hands in a "it's not fair" defeat. My Dad didn't even go there. I'm still haunted by where he went: "It's not supposed to be this way. We're at a point in our lives where things are supposed to be getting easier not harder." I had nothing to say to that. It's so American dream true. So I'm keeping my distance today and not just because my nose is running like a sieve (no I didn't take anything Love), but also because I'm rough around the edges yet completely fragile to my core.