S-M-I-L-E You Say...

I'm looking at these obligatory last day of school pictures and realizing that the joy on their faces confirms that they are ready for the dog days to begin. Bring them on! They don't mind the heat and humidity, but that's not what appeals most to these two. No, they are eagerly anticipating the change of pace...longer days and later nights spent having their share of good summer fun.

After the bus pulled away, I fought real hard to keep my composure because suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks: this is T. Bone and Miss Bit's last day at the school on the parkway ever. And I felt a twinge as I realized that this is also their last day riding the bus until high school. My kids love riding the bus, and I've grown to have affection for this loud, yellow monster that pulls up every morning and afternoon like clockwork to transport them to school and back home safely. The fact that I have grown to not only accept, but also appreciate the school bus is no small feat.

When I was their age, I rode the bus to school, and it was something that absolutely scared the bejesus out of me. There were kindergartners through eighth graders on this bus and let me just say that it wasn't just antics that occurred during our 45 to 60 minute ride to and from school everyday, but downright abuse. We had plenty enough kids to fill a large bus, but there were days that we were picked up in a small bus and that was always horrifying. There were also days that the bus driver left us alone on the bus while she went in to pick up her own child from another school in route. I've mostly successfully repressed those memories. Let's just say that when we moved and I switched schools in fifth grade, I didn't mind walking the 8 blocks to school in rain, sleet or snow.

T. Bone and Miss Bit have had the same driver for the 5 years we've lived in this house. She is reliable, responsible and she commands they respect her and each other. The worst transgression they report is that someone is sitting in "their" seat, or that E., the bus clown, stuck a pencil in his ear. (Just so you know, that was enough to secure him a seat in the front of the bus for a week.) So I'm going to miss waving and blowing kisses from the door with a cup of coffee in hand, but it's a small sacrifice.

Today's a day of lasts, but I'm glad that T. Bone and Miss Bit are pleased. With every last, there is a first...bring them on!

T Minus 2

Yesterday as I was whip creaming the third graders...well, not the kids, but their ice creams...I got rather nostalgic. T. Bone's been in school with many of these boys and girls for 5 years so I've watched them grow up and gotten to know a good many of them. There are friends I know he'll keep despite the switch in schools, but I'm feeling a little verklempt as I'm so prone to do when the passage of time and place are marked.

It is a glorious day. The sun is shining, a breeze is blowing and the only clouds in the sky do not threaten to ruin T. Bone's field day. Miss Bit's field day was cancelled because yesterday it rained and rained and rained. Instead she got to watch a movie. A Bug's Life was the feature...it's a movie she's seen at least a half a dozen times. I'm glad she wasn't disappointed.

I cannot say the same. I wondered where the kindergarten graduation was. And when I wondered aloud, I was told matter of factly that "THEY don't do THAT." I refrained from asking why? I stopped myself before I offered that WE should. I didn't dare share that at our new school the kindergartners don mortar boards and earn diplomas. Miss Bit misses that because next year she'll only be moving from first to second. I miss it.

T. Bone was just beyond excited to start his day. You see his teacher, Chef W., was cooking Room 28 breakfast. He was incredulous that she could switch gears from multiplication and division facts to eggs, chocolate chip pancakes, sausage, AND - yes, and - hash browns! After the school picnic, he gets to play the afternoon away, and then during today's baseball practice the Minor League Sox are scrimmaging the Rookie Division Yankees and well, you know all about that rival. All the more exciting for my boy is the fact that last year he was a Yankee so this is personal. Then tomorrow's the last day of school and Friday will be spent at Grandma and Grandpa's pool and it's supposed to be 90 bloody degrees and life...life is good!

Miss Bit is traveling down easy street too. Her friend, G., is coming over after school. She lobbied for skipping the Daisy meeting G.'s Mom just told me about this morning and I am one of the leaders. Not sure how that happens. Her case was compelling. She was all..."Well you know Mom...it's rude to make plans and then to break them. I already asked G. to come over." And I was all like, "Well, Miss Bit...you know that G. is a Daisy too so you could both go to the meeting." And then it was brought to my attention that as of today G. is an ex-Daisy so that was THE end of that.

This time next week, I won't be alone with my thoughts blogging in the peace and quiet of my house, and that's OK. Actually, it's better than OK because it's summer vacation and we have ice cream stands to sample, paths to hike, beaches to build sand castles on, projects, playdates, parties and it just doesn't get any better than that!

Divide and Conquer

Last night we had to implement man to man defense. Miss Bit had a baseball game at the same time as T. Bone so I went to cheer on the Sharks whilst my hubby went to coach the Sox. She hit the ball each time she was up to bat and ran the bases with an infectious smile on her face. She was a little less focused about her time in the outfield probably because with 20 kids out there, it's more like a party than a position. She spent time chatting up the other team to find out where the players go to school and digging in the dirt and doing handshakes with old friends M. and G. much to M.'s Mom's chagrin who kept shouting at M. to move 5 steps away from Miss Bit and G., the defectors and play ball. Um...yeah really.

We weren't through the first inning...in fact, I don't think the game had even started before a Mom came up to ask me if the rumor that we were moving was true. And before I could answer said inquiry, M.'s Mom did so for me making an already awkward moment all the more uncomfortable. Apparently, everyone knows that T. Bone and Miss Bit are attending school in a neighboring district come September. And while it's no secret, I don't exactly like being the topic of what I gage to be so many clandestine conversations. G.'s family is making a move too so we aren't the only ones jumping the school ship. In fact, the number of boys and girls overboard is multiplying rapidly. I'm a lemming not a leader.

The thing is that everyone has the option to break the problems (poor test scores, lack of pre-secondary preparation, behavior issues) down...to divide them if you will, and then to solve them...to conquer them (open enrollment, private school, home school, accept the status quo- which may be meeting or beating other's expectations). And only my hubby and I know what is best for our unique children. How can any responsible parent argue with that? Yet I feel the sting of judgement as the parents of current classmates, our friends, feel that we are in fact unfairly scrutinizing them. It is as if we are rejecting them by doing what we deem best for our children. I get it, but I don't like that it has to be this way. Does it have to be this way?

It should be lots of fun volunteering at the school over the next couple days. I imagine it is going to be a trial in fielding delicate questions and defending sensitive positions in as PC a manner as possible.

Oh and by the way, the Mom who came to out the rumor then made a big deal about making sure we keep in touch...maintain friendships...blah, blah, blah. I like her daughter. Miss Bit likes her daughter, but in the two years the girlies have known one another they reached out to Miss Bit a big FAT zero times. We've had her over on numerous play dates and invited her countless times more. She'd have been the last person I would have thought to give a rat's you know what about our leaving!

Happy Weekend

We're mostly recovered here from another too short weekend too long on fun. The highlight for Miss Bit was attending the marvelous mermaid party in honor of her friend C.'s sixth birthday. C.'s Mom, my friend S., knows how to throw a party with a capital P. Can you say PARTAY? She turned her backyard into an underwater grotto fit only for the best mermaids and mermen. There was a monstrous water slide, bubbles galore, a most entertaining magic show, yummy pizza and cake, and plenty of presents and play. Just this evening Miss Bit told me she wished she could go back and do it all over again! I cannot blame her, but chuckled as I remembered she didn't want to get out of the van afraid she wouldn't know anyone. I'd hire S. in a heartbeat, but this is just something she does because she so so so loves her little girl. I so so get that.

The best part of the weekend for T. Bone was having an old friend from his new school over to play all afternoon Sunday. He's brimming over with excitement for next year's change and I couldn't be happier. It's going to be stellar!

I'd have to say that my favorite part was coming home from a two hour trip to the home improvement store and the sub shop Sunday to find my two indoor cats outdoors, but alive.

T-H-A-N-K-F-U-L-L-Y A-L-I-V-E!

They followed me onto the patio when I went to water plants and then we left and left them outside. As we were looking at light fixtures, Miss Bit said, "Uh oh! Did we bring the cats inside?!" I couldn't even fathom that we hadn't and so we carried on shopping and then eating. Then we weren't greeted by the boys when we came home, and we knew that something was very wrong. As soon as we opened the patio door, they emerged from the bushes. They were a little skittish, but my hubby was right when he said that he bet they'd head right out an open door right away. They did.

I really think my hubby's favorite part was just having time to tackle chores around the house, yard, garage without feeling guilty for not doing schoolwork. And I N-E-V-E-R thought I'd say that.

We ordered pizza from one of our favorite parlors and hunkered down for a movie night last night. The feature film was Alice in Wonderland, and it kept us all entertained. I only fell asleep for like 10 minutes...the 10 minutes Alice slays the watchmacallit. What can I say?

I slept like a happy baby last night. The kids woke easily this morning and were anxious to begin the countdown. 4-3-2-1...S-U-M-M-E-R! I'm ready too...

One Woman's Words

I love a good memoir I find myself laughing and crying and nodding my head in agreement all the way through. Kelly Corrigan's words resonate with me because they are raw and honest and in some way true for the daughter, wife and mother I am. She shares with us her vulnerability and fear, but also her strength and hope.

I heard once that an average person barely knows ten stories from childhood and those are based more on photographs and retellings than memory...You won't remember how it started with us, the things that I know about you that you don't even know about yourselves. We won't come back here.You'll remember middle school and high school, but you'll have changed by then. You changing will make me change. That means you won't ever know me as I am right now - the mother I am tonight and tomorrow, the mother I've been for the last eight years, every bath and book and birthday party, gone. It won't hit you that you're missing this chapter of our story until you see me push your child on a swing or untangle his jump rope or wave a bee away from his head and think, Is this what she was like with me?

We never go back...we're always moving forward as time marches on, and children grow up as we grow older. I already feel the profound affect of this. T. Bone leans in for a good night kiss, but only offers the top of his fuzzy head for me to plant one on. I'm invisible and he's deaf to my voice when his friends are around. It's why I let Miss Bit curl up on the couch with me for an extra ten minutes last night. She confessed to me, "My heart just needs to cuddle with you right now." Right now's all we got...sometimes it's crucial I remind myself not to let it get away.

I am your mother. The first mile of your road. Me and all my obvious and hidden limitations. That means that in addition to possibly wrecking you, I have the chance to give you what was given to me: a decent childhood, more good memories than bad, some values, a sense of a tribe, a run at happiness. You can't imagine how seriously I take that - even as I fail you. Mothering you is the first thing of consequence that I have ever done.

What can I say? Being a mother is the hardest job at times, but always the most rewarding. I find myself dreaming about what I'm going to do of consequence once my kids are on their own. Not because I'm ready for that day, but because I just know I have to start preparing now for that bittersweet point in time I know will take the wind out of my sails leaving me deflated and aimlessly drifting.

On her dear friend's yearning for motherhood she waxes,

I want her to have this thing I have that's so ordinary and tedious and aggravating, and then, so divine.

At times, it's routine and arduous and agonizing, but yes it is nothing short of sacred this job that makes me feel like I've won the lottery day after day. Sometimes I wonder how I could have been so lucky twice.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

This awesome almost 4th grader!

This amazing almost 1st grader!


Grandpa lovin' girls...girl lovin' Grandpas.

Time outs.

Pool Days.

Sunbathing beauties!

Rain dates. The Red Sox only got in an inning before the torrential downpour this week, but we'll play at the coveted field again later this month. Third times got to be a charm. My #7 and The Pledge of Allegiance too.

Streptocarpella.

Snaps.

Summer skirts.

The toucing final episode of Lost. Epic it was.

Iced Tea.

Lil. Bit hanging out with Aunt Jess and I last night, and Jess for reminding me that she won't always think it's a treat to do so.

To The Sea

Hoop earings.

Hope.

My summer scent...Caylx.

Taking the kids to DQ after school this week. I proposed a challenge a few weeks ago: to try and eat ice cream at as many different spots around the city as we can. The kids are definitely up for it.

Oscar Meyer for coming out with a nitrite-free hot dog.

Clean sheets.

Burt's Bees Shimmer.

Big fat bursting peonies.

The smell of fresh cut grass.

Inspiration...this week it's color.

Straw purses.

Especially this Kelly Corrigan quote..."And that what this whole thing is about. Calling home. Instinctively. Even when all the paperwork-a marriage license, a notarized deed, two birth certificates, and seven years of tax returns-clearly indicates you're an adult, but all the same, there you are, clutching the phone and thanking God that you're still somebody's daughter."

It's Friday.

"There's a 104 Days of Summer Vacation"

How can it be that it’s already June? I mean I know the whole summer is ahead of us, but something tells me that I’m going to blink and then it’s going to be September. It will be back to school before we even know it, only T. Bone and Miss Bit are going to a new school come fall. Well, T. Bone was headed to a new school either way…the middle school, but now they’re both moving to a new district and he’ll land in elementary school for one more year…thankfully. We first let them in on this plan (or change in plans) Wednesday morning before our school tour scheduled that afternoon. The news was met with a predictable combination of fear and excitement. After we became acquainted with the awesome principal and the program, were welcomed by many of the enthusiastic teachers and saw numerous familiar faces, eager anticipation was quickly gaining on any leftover anxiety the children had.

It is going to be such a meritorious move, and yet it was a difficult decision. It became apparent that the things that were holding us back, were not the things upon which you make important decisions about your children’s education, about their future. It is going to be an adjustment for all of us, but I am absolutely certain that the rewards reaped will be worth any growing pains we experience. It still chaws us that we pay some of the highest taxes in the state, and yet the benefit of these exorbitant expenses is not adding value to our schools. Move you say…well, we love our home and we really, really like our neighborhood, and we are ultimately thankful for the freedom to take responsibility for our children’s edification in our own hands.

T. Bone is going to shadow a friend tomorrow morning just to get him on board 100%. To think...I was most worried about Miss Bit because she has more trouble with change than her brother, but it became apparent that this is rocking his world even more. Of course it is…he’s got double the time invested. He thought he was on easy street already dreaming of pizza parlor lunches, an earlier end to the day and the possibility of finally having a male teacher. Hopefully, some day he'll thank us...she'll thank us because we are doing this for them.

We moved and I started in a new school as a 5th grader. It was a worthy move, but it wasn't easy. As I'm going through this with my own children, I'm filled with such respect for my Mom as I fully understand the difficult decisions and many sacrifices she made to ensure that my brother and I had access to the best education possible. She instilled within me the absolute importance of a solid education, and I hope that T. Bone and Miss Bit carry on in this tradition.

They have 5 days left of school. Field days and end of year send-offs are prominent on their schedules before they ease into the sweet days of summer, and I already cannot get that Nick jingle out of my head.