I Chose Light

A major wrench was thrown in my quest for merriment. Exactly one week ago, I found out that my step-mom, my second mom, was in the hospital waiting to have open heart surgery. I was in disbelief because she's not exactly an obvious candidate, but I was not shocked because I was waiting for something...I just didn't know what, who. The low level anxiety I've been plagued with, finally made sense. You see, I recognize that I am an empath and because I am wired that way I often know things before I know them. Or rather, I feel them.

The good news is that Judy is 3 days post surgery and already out of the ICU. She may even be home before Christmas and while the holiday will be a little different this year, our family has been given the only gift that matters.

There have been many..too many...reminders of life's fragility lately. I've been weary and worn, but no more. Today on the longest day of the year, I am choosing light.

The house is feeling more festive now that Lily (and all her gal pals) are home. After a night out, they woke me up in today's wee morning hours. I could smell the after-bar kitchen concoctions and then hear them giggling, but I wasn't angry. They are just so happy to be back together and I'm happy that they are hanging out at Casa Wags.

Ted will be home tomorrow. He proctored his exam today. His students gave him a card that said Mr. Wagehaupt. I get as much of a kick out of my Teddy being called Mr. as I do out of the fact that his students gave him a card. I never...not once...thought to give one of my TAs a card. While they were crunching numbers, T. was online Christmas shopping. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I doubted any of his gifts would arrive by Sunday because this Christmas our motto is...it is what it is. And whatever that is...is good as long as we are together.

I've taken stock of my baking supplies, without a batch to show for it. I'm hoping to make just a few faves for us and to share with our neighbors who are likely waiting for their annual goodies. I thought I was finished shopping after a couple stops today, but I'll make one more stop for a few last minute things. We celebrate Saturday with the Wags family and then we'll see what the rest of the holiday weekend brings. I'll be looking for the joy moments and bright spots because I know in my heart they will be there in abundance.