Good Enough

Yesterday was the first day of summer...the longest day of the year. It was a balmy 99 degrees. Lily spent the day at the pool with friends and came home sunkissed. I was thumbing through my planner and quickly found myself in September. The visual proof rattled me even as I know the phantom nature of time.

It just so happens that I spent most of this year thinking I was 53. I'm 52 so in this case I gained a year. The possibility of this is not lost on me. I don't get stuck on age...on the number, but rather what feels like an bonus year...extra time.

My brother recently told me that he thinks he may die young. He cited our mom and her dad...60 and 49. I wanted to protest, but it would have been in vain because I have felt the same. He told me this as an impetus for living in the moment...something he's quite good at and something I work on every single day. His carpe diem is larger and louder than mine. I'm a big believer in the extraordinary ordinary. In the end, it's the same thing although I doubt he sees it that way.

Father's Day this past weekend was not the usual whole family affair. There are painful rifts that weigh very heavily on my heart, but in the vein of seizing the day, I knew I wanted to spend some time with my dad. In the past, I have found myself in the middle of conflict trying to broker some peace. Not this time. I have made my peace and pray for others to do the same. I didn't try to plead cases, influence or shame. I just did what I felt was right and it was right for me.

I brought breakfast and we had a great visit. Lily took Grandpa's convertible for a spin and Bodi for a walk. We caught up and watched the menagerie of critters in the yard and I left knowing our presence brightened my dad's day making my heart a little lighter and hopefully his too.

We were home before Mike was finished with his 9 holes that became 18. The kids gave him a collection of hot sauces that is all the rage on Tik Tok so we did the challenge sampling all 10 on our grilled chicken. It was fun and not too too fiery...a good meal after a good day at the end of a good weekend.