Whirlwind

I was  up early this morning. My mind already racing. The kind of monkey mentality that is persistent, and thus, uncontrollable. When I sat down with my book, I may have been reading the words, but I wasn't retaining them. I was surprised to see the sun. Every forecast I heard this week predicted rain and wind. It cannot be a coincidence that as I sat down to write here a front moved in bringing wind and clouds. The kind of wind that reminds me of the sound of big surf. If I close my eyes, I can convince myself I'm ocean side. It's why I'm titling this post Whirlwind.

This week was one lived at full tilt. There were moments of excitement and fear and exhaustion. So much transpired and just as much did not. There simply weren't enough hours in the day or days in the week. There was the constant feeling that I was just spinning my wheels...getting nowhere. I couldn't relax. I could only go go go and then crash only too wake in the wee hours thinking about how I didn't have time to sleep.

This all comes with the territory of a new job, which I started Monday. There is a massive amount to learn so that soon I can run this office smoothly, and yet I believe I will get there and that I'm meant to be here. You see I discovered that the wonderful person I'm replacing knew my mom. I knew Sue was there to help me and that she would, but she's now an angel in another way. It's serendipitous. Invaluable. Significant. 

I'm also scared that I've taken on more than I can chew with my freelance work on top of this job and my household duties. Oh and my life too. For the most part I have the freedom to work when I can or want with this project, so I feel like any 'free" time I have should be spent logging hours for it. So it's a vicious cycle right now. And I tell myself that this will calm down. I'll assimilate. I'll arrive at a new normal. I'll be able to read and write and exercise again and soon. That I'll be able to enjoy my life.