And so it goes...

It's my first Wednesday sans kids and the truth is I'm melancholy about time 's passing, and beginnings and endings that feel rather abrupt despite the fact they come and go every year at this same time. The house is noticeably quiet after the morning rush. A storm that erupts between 6:30 and 7:15 in the morning. That's when alarms sound (or they don't...ahem T. Bone), I make breakfast, pack lunches, cut tags off new clothes, sign slips, try to formulate a plan for the every changing day, and really earn my cuppa morning coffee.

I must confess that I stood at the front window watching the neighbor kids who moved in over the weekend wait for the bus. Their mom was captivated by her phone and seemed anxious for it all to be over. I wanted to warn her that these days will pass and too soon. I wanted to tell her that someday she will miss standing at the end of the driveway on a cool late summer morning with a few minutes to spare.

I was struck by a memory from nine years ago. I woke up in my own bed for the first time in weeks because my friend Rose was caring for my mom. She relieved me so that I could see Lily off for her first day of kindergarten. It was one of the saddest days of my life because it was such a stark refection of time marching on: my baby growing up and my mom growing weaker. It's no wonder why the two are always linked in my mind and heart.

Years are minutes. I cannot say this enough.

It's funny because it's the same drill year after year. At summer's onset, I am already fast forwarding to its culmination. I'm repelled by summer's laziness and spontaneity, but after just a couple weeks I'm able to embrace all the free and unscheduled time. You think I'd be ready and happy for school to start, but I've been physically unable to complete the September calendar. I think I'm in denial. I resist...I give in...I resist again.

This year is was uncanny the way the weather changed on cue too. It's hovering around 50 degrees in the morning. There's a chill in the morning air that isn't quite budging throughout the day. Of course, it's the first year we haven't done any extensive back to school shopping because the kids usually wear their shorts and tees until sometime in October. Somehow they're making due. I'm a fall fanatic, but I guess I don't expect it to really arrive until October.

These fall-like temps are messing with a ritual that I hold dear as well. No one is particularly eager to take a first day of school Lake Michigan dip when the 60 some degree water is warmer than the air. Lily would probably still take the plunge. Polar bear Mike too, but Ted and I are not quite so bold. Maybe this weekend.

As for this day: I've got a long list of things to accomplish. I have a new book waiting for me at the library, intentions to stop at the farmer's market for the very first time this summer, blueberry muffins to bake, laundry to attend to and many other tasks to tick off a list that will multiply as the days march on. First and foremost on the list every day is be.here.now.