Tis' the Season

Today we wake on the other side of darkness.  Each day will yield a little more light.  So many see this as a turning point.  I see it as a reminder of the serious interior work to do in the cold months ahead. This is not a negative, but it is solemn and heavy.

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Last night Lily read The Last Straw to me before bed.  I kept nodding off during the short story of Hoshmakaka's journey to Bethlehem only to be roused by her questions. "What's gout?" "What's sciatica?"  I answered wondering if I was delirious and then when she asked again, what kind of Christmas tale this was.  I tucked her in and she asked me what she should dream about, but before I could respond she said, "Never mind.  I know.  I'm gonna dream about Christmas break."  I dreamt that my house was on fire, and then about a pack of rabid dogs and a sick squirrel.

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Today is the last day of school before Christmas break.  I'm sorry if that offends, but I cannot bring myself to say winter when it feels more like spring.  I think we are all ready for a holiday from homework and alarm clocks.  Making lunches too.  Today Ted skipped breakfast because he had a fiesta first hour, and yet he still made his ride wait.  By January 4th, he's going to be ready and waiting curbside.  Now I am delirious.

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Lily is so kind.  When we went to light candles before church she knew I would light one for my Mom and then she wondered whom the second might be for. I paused a moment and she offered, "Are you going to light it for Candace's friend who died."  My heart skipped a beat as I replied, "Yes, that's exactly who I will light it for."  Thank you thoughtful, empathetic child of mine for keeping my heart tender. She wrote the nicest message on her Sunday school teacher's Christmas card too praising her for her patience and thoughtfulness.  She read it to me and I felt verklempt.  That only lasted a minute though because then I realized Ted didn't even know his teacher's name.  I'm not sure if that's a boy/girl thing or a tween/teen thing.

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Yet he's kind too.  I picked him up from school  Friday and took him to get Lily's Christmas gift.  It was a a two part present one part being much pricier than the other so I offered to pony up for the more expensive item.  He accepted , but only after I insisted.  Not all siblings can give happily and generously to one another at this stage of life.

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My kids get it that giving is more important and just as much fun (almost) as receiving.  Both of them take time picking out gifts for family members and friends that are meaningful.  My heart swells because as parents we have worked hard to instill this within them.  When they were little, they made ornaments and crafts and proudly handed them out.  Now they save their earnings and allowance to be able to participate in holiday exchanges.  It's a beautiful thing to be generous.

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The more we give the more we receive.  Isn't that what they say? Lily received two Christmas bonuses from her one and only very much adored client.  She's available whenever he needs her and on short notice and that gives him peace of mind.  That same adage likely applies to my sad stack of Christmas cards.  I haven't sent cards in years so now we don't receive many.  I like getting them, but not enough to send them again.

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Tis' the point in the season where I want to hit pause.  I want a hush not all the hype and rush.  There is so much goodness overflowing and overwhelming, and I want to sit with it and truly give it the time and attention it deserves.