You are still sleeping as I write this little birthday letter. It appears that you turn 13, and suddenly sleep is good for you. Well, you are a growing boy. I mean young man. You hover over me now, and are gaining on Dad in both height and shoe size. In just a few minutes...8:12 to be exact which you reminded me last night...you will officially become a teenager. And I meant what I said as I tucked you in: it was one of the very best days of my life. Becoming your Mom was such a beautiful gift...a gift I treasure every day...all 4,745 of them!
I can still clearly remember not just the day, but the moment you were born on this same snowy day in 2000. It truly was life changing for me to become a Mom...to become your Mom. Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral was playing in the background. The Irish Lullaby was interrupted first by Dr. Trebian saying "It's a boy!" which I already so strongly suspected that one could say I knew. Then you cried followed by Nanny. I'm crying right now those same tears of joy. Daddy whispered over and over, "We have our boy!" with a slight sense of disbelief. It felt like we had been waiting for you forever even though you were a week early. In those first few moments, we shared the sense that we were just getting to know you and yet that we had always known you.
We had already been awake for 24 hours when you were born. We never went to bed on the 26th. My water broke close to 11:00 p.m. We didn't sleep on the 27th either as I recall. Joy is a most powerful source of adrenaline. When we weren't introducing you to your excited family and friends, we were just staring at you in absolute awe. I couldn't believe you were mine. Just like I cannot believe you are 13.
I confess that at times I am nostalgic for the baby days when your chubby cheeks were ruby red and eager to be kissed. I miss your hoarse and lispy toddler voice always asking why? But why?and that signature toe headed mop of hair. I feel a longing when I picture you in your Yankee uniform sporting your first buzz cut up at bat...a little boy on a big field. This spring you'll move up to THE BIG field. Almost a decade older, but still playing ball and likely wearing the same crew cut. So things change and yet they stay the same. You'll always be my little boy. Time marches on I guess it always will, but deep inside my heart time stands still. Still in those defining, sustaining moments.
It's an understatement to say I am proud of you Teddy. You are an amazing young man in every way. While it is true as your Mom I may be a bit biased, I cannot say the same of others who know you and know you to be a young man of great character, mind and spirit. Your future is bright, and I am blessed to be behind the scenes of your journey to see what trails you blaze (and not just on the ski slopes)!
So on this milestone of a day I want to leave you with this one wish. My wish for you is that you seek and find your passions in life, and then live them to the fullest without forgetting where you came from or where you ultimately are going.
I love you always and forever and to infinity and beyond T. Bone,
Mom
