Give

Whatta week it's been!  Something tells me you may be having one too.  It seems like the whole world is running rampant - trying to find the perfect gifts, wrap the perfect presents, make perfect confections, throw and attend the perfect parties and have the all around perfect Christmas when really the best part is just sitting before the imperfect tree with a hot toddy and a few classic crooners caroling.

And speaking of carols, Bing was belting out I'll  Be Home For Christmas yesterday just as the doorbell rang.  It was the UPS guy delivering a package from relatives on my Mom's side.  I accepted the box and then quickly shut the door because I couldn't contain the grief I felt washing over me.  It moved through me and I became a heaving, sobbing, shaking mess in a moment.  A puddle on the other side of the door. All I could think was that my Mom wouldn't be coming home for Christmas.  No revelation intellectually, but emotionally still jarring and upending.

I'm not going to fib and say that this year I'm filled to the brim with Christmas spirit. I feel it at times...many times...but there are equally as many times that I'm simply going through the motions.  It's not just me though. I've commiserated with many friends who are feeling the same : little to nothing...numb.  I think it's because we have strayed from the true meaning of Christmas.  Just this morning I was watching GMA, and they aired a segment questioning whether or not it's acceptable to overindulge our children in the name of Christmas.  One mother was an emphatic yes.  One expert was a resounding no.  We've lost the meaning she warned.  Christmas is about giving and togetherness, she waxed.  I waned.  The last I checked, Christmas was about the birth of Jesus, and the grace that is ours because he was born only to give his life for our salvation.  So yes, it is about giving, but not the latest and greatest of things...of ourselves.