Sleepovers and Spirit Guides

I was up last night trying to console keep Miss Bit company after her birthday sleepover ended early. Her friend decided to leave before bed. This is pandemic in these parts and just further sours me on the whole slumber party scene. I've never been a fan and am even less of one now. Seriously, who in their right mind thinks it sounds like unbridled fun to sleep in a strange house, filled with weird noises and odd parents? So despite the fact that I just wanted to go to bed, I found myself reading blogs lest I be driven to maim myself for having to watch an episode of Jessie. I read this and then I went here. This is what I learned:

In ancient Egyptian, Celtic, and Hindu cultures the symbolic meaning of owl revolved around guardianship of the underworlds, and a protection of the dead.

In this light the owl was ruler of the night and seer of souls. A misunderstanding of this necessary relationship gave the owl some negative associations with death.

It should be clear that the owl was honored as the keeper of spirits who had passed from one plane to another. Often myth indicates the owl accompanying a spirit to the underworld - winging it's newly freed soul from the physical world into the realm of spirit.

The word for how I felt after reading this passage is mystified and there's a good reason for it. You can bet that I'm going to tell you too. A couple days after my Mom passed I went to hike the trails at my favorite area preserve with my family. It's one of my happy places and I was there with my much loved people. It was a glorious late summer day. The kind of almost fall day that I long for, but each step I took was heavy, laden, loaded. I was hurting so emotionally that the toll on me was physical. As we rounded the woodland loop, I could scarcely bask in the dappled sunlight finding me as it filtered through the changing leaves, but I looked up nonetheless. I looked up and dared the sun to thaw me, warm me, even to burn me. What the hell? Nothing could match the pain I was in. When I looked up what I saw was an owl. An owl watching me from its perch high in a tree. An owl the size of a cat in the middle of the day. Immediately, I recognized it as a sign from my Mom. I felt it and it gave me a shock of joy I hadn't felt in months. As we walked along the ravine, the owl watched us stoically never flinching or fleeing. I started to feel lighter and more lucid. I have traveled these trails many times before and many times since, but that is the only owl I've ever encountered. I've never forgotten that sighting...that seeing.

Further delving Googling last night led me to this:

The owl is the symbol of:

the feminine, the moon and the night. The owl is the bird of magic and darkness, of prophecy and wisdom. The owl is associated with Athena. An owl totem gives you the power to extract secrets. Meditate on the owl and things will be revealed. Listen to its voice inside of you. You will hear not what is being said by others, but what is hidden. You can detect subtleties of voice that others cannot. People cannot deceive a person who has an owl totem. Owl people can see into the darkness of others souls. Most owl people are clairvoyant because of this ability. It can be very scary at times. Learn to trust your instincts about people. Let your owl totem guide you.

And again I'm a little mystified. Many of the issues I've been dancing around with regard to my relationships lately have everything to do with what is hidden, subtleties, short comings. There have been no egregious acts or indiscretions. It's just been my strong instinct making me retreat because I do not feel safe, or my intuition telling me these bonds don't feel sacred for a reason.

And Miss Bit's issues mirror mine. I know, imagine that.

But also know that this was one of the gifts I gave Miss Bit for her birthday on Saturday. An owl. A mamma owl (Shadow) and her baby (Hootie). And also know I was prompted to buy these not because my girl asked for them. No, she asked me to give her an animal, any animal, that she could always have like her Alice. Alice who was from Nanny. Alice who she sleeps with every night. Alice who is the link between my girl here and her Nanny in heaven. She asked me this some time ago, and I hadn't forgotten this owl from even longer than that.  We had seen an owl, albeit not this one, almost a year ago at one of the stores we shop. I felt compelled to see if they still had any...almost willed. I found it serendipitous when I found they not only had a mama, but a baby now too.

She immediately fell in love with the pair. She was smitten with the idea that they symbolize the two of us. That when we're apart, we'll take the other and together we'll be.

Last night I decided that I would have a slumber party in Miss Bit's room.Sure her friend had to go home, but I was still here.  It was her birthday after all and I wanted it to end on a note high and bright. She got her bed and Tigger and I were content to curl up on the air mattress beside her (at least until 2:00 a.m.). Bit tucked Shadow (mama owl) in beside her while I cuddled Hootie (baby owl).  It just felt right.