Best Laid Plans

Even the best laid plans have not been going my way this week.

Looking back, I have to say that this trend pretty much started Friday. There was a little happy hour planned with my friends that evening at my favorite local festival in honor of my upcoming birthday. I was very much looking forward to the gathering until we were all gathered and then I just wasn't feeling the chi. I couldn't put on a happy face, drown my sorrows or turn the other cheek so I left. I left my "party" prematurely and abruptly, but it was a good thing to listen to my instincts and take care of myself.

Saturday we were going to pick up T. Bone and Lil Bit at Grandma and Grandpa's, and then take care of tasks that we have ignored these past couple of busy weeks. Seriously, I had not been to the grocery store in 2 weeks! When we got to my in-laws, the family was in the pool. It was hot and we were hotter yet after a 5 miler, so we joined them. That was at 1:00. At 5:00 we were still in the pool, and accepted the invitation to stay for dinner seeing as how never made it to the store, but it was a good thing to spend the afternoon having summer fun with the family.

We were up and out the door early Sunday morning for church. We attended mass with thousands of people at our local Irish festival. As we approached the amphitheater, I heard the bagpipes bellowing a haunting, soulful rendition of Amazing Grace, and that gave me an amazing cry. I wasn't sure I would be able to hold it together for the mass, but then I looked around and saw men and women, young and old wiping trails of tears from their faces and it was clear that I wasn't alone. We are all of us missing someone special, fighting our own demons, waging personal wars. Bishop Tony and the choir made me very thankful that we committed to this experience. I will make it an annual tradition. We spent the day at the festival enjoying all of the things that I felt I missed when I had to leave quickly Friday...Irish dancers, Irish egg rolls, Irish music. It made me realize that what happened Friday was a good thing because I probably would not have returned to the festival this year. See, I've never been to this festival without my Mom, but Sunday I really felt she was with me, with us, as we worshipped and then played.

My brother called while we were enjoying the festival to invite us to dinner. We accepted because it was 3:00 and we still hadn't been to the grocery (not to mention that my brother and his fiance are great hosts and better company). It was the perfect end to what ended up to be an all around stellar weekend. Sure we didn't get a thing done that we intended, but we accomplished way more important things and that, that is a good thing.

All week I wanted to write. So many times I sat down to write, but something would come up...a game of trivial pursuit with T. Bone, a game of Guess Who with Lil Bit, a game of laser tag with Peanut and Tigger, a few minutes alone with my hubby. In the silence of my absence, I started to hear other things that I haven't been listening to. It was a week of breakthroughs I've been dreaming of and praying for. What's not good about that? So I'm not promising to pen my annual personal inventory before my birthday in 2 days, but I am seeing many things with more clarity and I'm recommitted to authenticity.

Tonight I had the kids in bed by 8:30. They have to get up early tomorrow for a big camp field trip and our week has been just as busy as last weekend so they are experiencing sleep deficits. But that was just another plan that had a plan of its own. I just tucked them in for the second time at 10:15. Our friend came over to hunt wasps and eradicate hives at 8:31. I must admit that it was more entertaining than TV (and certainly the Octomom special which was just disturbing and sad) to watch two grown men on ladders in their Polo shirts armed with aerosol poison attacking wasps with a mission. T. Bone, Lil Bit and our friend's daughter Miss O. watched from a window with rapt attention. Once the wasps were taken out, the kids reclaimed their yard by scootering and skateboarding in the dark, in their jammies long after they should have been sleeping. But it's a good thing because summer is all about staying up late...so what if they have to get up early. They can sleep on the bus.

I'm refraining from making lots of plans for the upcoming weekend because really...what's the point? I'm going to let life unfold and trust in the bigger plan.