Every Day Life

Today I am going to take a break from the anger and malaise that has been following me like a dark cloud because today the sun is shining in my world. No good news, but no bad news either. I will happily take that.

I spend every Tuesday morning in my daughter's class...it is time well spent whether I'm helping the kids (games, projects) or helping the teacher (putting up bulletin boards). Four year olds are so special. They love you if you show them kindness and warmth, they laugh at all your jokes even if they aren't so funny, they give you all their attention provided you are engaging, and they so want to please and impress. It was their 100th day of school. You have got to love that it was a celebration because they love school. My 2nd grader has already figured out that the celebration of the 100th day is all about summer being that much closer...forget any glory for 100 days of learning and growing. We made crowns, which they all wore proudly, and we did lots of counting. Whether they made it to 15, got to 29 and then said 20-10 (yes that actually is 30) or went all the way to 100, they beamed when I offered them high 5's and words of encouragement.

Leaving there today, I was questioning why it is that I am not in school finishing my final 4 credits. That's all I need to get my elementary teaching license. I mean, I know what happened to derail me...life happened, and then death happened. The shock of my Mom's diagnosis, the harshness of her battle and the reality of her death literally stopped me dead in my tracks. Ever since, I have been struggling with forward motion because I am still in that place where I am frozen questioning and reevaluating every thing...past, present, and most definitely future. Today was the first time in a long time that I was even able to go there, mull it over and say, "maybe it's time to finish this after all because maybe this is what I want to do after all." I was thinking in terms of the rest of my life, not feeling so stunned and stuck.

After school, we got some lunch and spent a typical Tuesday afternoon. There was joy in the little things like playing games together, having a tea party, making a comforting pot pie for dinner (which my kids ate without too much coaxing, complaining or gagging), and getting in a 4 mile run. All things good for the mind, body and soul.

The icing on the cake of my day was taking my 8 year old son for a haircut. He wasn't excited about getting any of his mop cut off, but he was a sport and by the time we left the salon, he had most every one in stifled stitches. I was along only to pay the bill. He communicated what he wanted and then proceeded to carry on a conversation, most of which he initiated, about every thing from his love of sports (and the scores of most of last season's little league games) to American Idol (and how my sylist looks like Danny Gokey...he's right) to sin. In a rare moment of silence, he blurted out, "You know there is sin on SpongeBob. Mr. Crabs loves money so much. He loves it more than God. He even worships pennies Dude!" I refrained from letting him in on the fact that this haircut cost much more than pennies and probably 4 times what his "normal" haircut cost. When Kevin went to put some product in his hair and explained that he would use the pomade to muss up his hair, my son was like, "Why would someone pay you to do that?" That was priceless. We exited the salon and he matted his hair down, smoothing it to make it hang longer on to his face and said, "My hair grows really fast Mom. It's ok. And besides, it's dark out." He didn't even listen to his i pod on the way home preferring to chat some more with me instead. So I never would have thought that a date to the salon would be such quality time with my little man...my 8 year old who would give any thing to have hair like Zac Effron. He's lucky that I think Zac is cute, but only half as cute as my T-bone!

I am hopeful that tomorrow will be a good day too, and it should be. I'm starting the day off with a nice, long, therapeutic (love that word) massage and planning to end it with one of my favorite, kick butt cardio classes. Every thing in between will be bonus.