Weekending

We just got home from a before dinner walk on what feels like a perfect summer night. The path is lined with leaves thanks to the warm breeze that's blowing. The sun slipped away around mile 2 leaving us in the dark. In a couple weeks, it will be dark before we set out as we march toward solstice. I'm a broken record, but honestly won't someone stop this train. Tell me you know that John Mayer song? It's one of his best.

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We're at Little Hills Lake floating around on rafts on a sunny day. Ted is three and just happy to sit on the water cycle aka jet ski even though it's tethered to the pier and not going anywhere. Charlie's content at Nanny's feet part of the party and dry. Soon we'll climb the ten flights of stairs for gloaming on the deck. We all got swimmer's itch, the rocks in the shallows rubbed our feet raw, it was hotter than Hades and we had no air, my brother was almost decapitated by the ceiling fan in the middle of the night (he was Ted's bunk mate), and yet it was THE best week of the year. No inkling of Lily on the way or Nanny's limited time. So scared of getting older. I'm only good at being young.

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We rolled into Madison Saturday morning and were immediately accosted by the 5 story naked Trump hung from a crane on the way into campus. That folks is the definition of deplorable, but it didn't dampen my mood because I believe this kind of distasteful antic exposes the real anti-democracy in our midst. No I'm not colorblind. I know the world is black and white.The streets are abuzz for Homecoming and driving through town is like a moving reel of all the once were and has beens. So many ghosts, but only a few goblins. We were in Madison for some time with Lily's friends and their parents. It was a fun day with a great group of people...some new, some known, and always far fewer than six degrees of separation between us a fact I find comforting. I felt old. I am old. So I play this numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun. 

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We graduated and got season tickets along with all of our friends...his, mine and soon enough just ours. We never missed a game without good reason for the better part of a decade. It seems like yesterday and also forever ago. How is this possible? To be so close and so far away. Try to keep an open mind. I just can't sleep on this tonight. 

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We didn't stay for the game and were home by halftime to watch from our den. We had a room and may have scored some tickets, but I knew the pre-game would be enough. And while a small part of me wanted to stay, it was the right choice to head home. Enough is such an interesting, self realized concept. The girls were toast after the game anyway. Stop this train. I want to go home again.

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Sunday we woke up refreshed and mostly ready to go. We had to make a candy run because I brought what I had for the girls. Mums, pumpkins and pumpkin bars too. Chicken, cold brew, and homemade vinaigrette as well. Trick or treaters were out in force and it made my heart happy to see all the kids who have moved into the neighborhood in the last few years running around in bands. I may or may not have dressed up like a kitty. My brother and sister in law came late afternoon to watch our other team...the Packers, and I finally got to make them my new star recipe...smash-burger tacos that are a serious game changer. Ted came home from a day of football with the boys. We played some cards and caught up. His CPA exam went well. Don't stop this train. Don't for a minute change the place you're in.

John honestly we'll never stop this train.

 

weekending

It still feels like summer here, but it's looking a lot like fall especially in the last few days. This year winter is going to come as a rather rude awakening I'm afraid. That being said, I'm not complaining one bit. We enjoyed a fall family day Saturday. It was a great one for a visit to the apple farm. It was slim pickings because of our early, wet spring and lovely Indian summer, but we found some juicy crisp Golden Delicious apples that lived up to their name. The kids wanted to go and I love that. I visited once in the past month, but just for a pit stop in the barn. Ain't nobody got time for apple picking alone. Last year we also visited the third Saturday in October. It was cold and rainy and yet one of the best days of the year...ask Meryl. I concur btw. 

 

 

 

The idea was to same time next year it, but then we did a 180 and that was a wise choice. We were tourists in our town and finally took the Shaker's Bar Ghost Tour. Is it haunted? I'm not sure. Is it creepy? Without a doubt. It was an entertaining way to spend an October Eve on the cusp of Halloween.

 

Dinner was bar-side at La Merenda for a fabulous tapas spread. There was no star of the show because one was better than the next. Shout outs to the goat cheese curds, Potatoes Bravas, Argentinian beef and butter chicken. Whatever we had for dessert was nothing short of THE GOAT.

Let's just say we left happy and were home in time for SNL, which is funny so far this season. It's about time we can laugh at the ridiculousness that is politics these days. It's stranger than fiction. That's reality. I'm going to vote this week and that will be my piece.

The girls were up and on the road before dawn Sunday with coffees to go and sweet Manny my grandkitty. Lily was home for less than 24 hours, but they were good ones. I thought about getting a jump start on my day, but I ended up back in bed. Lately Sundays have been unapologetically lazy. Ted spent most of the day studying for his third CPA exam, which he sits for Saturday. Things are moving right along with a momentum I still find hard to fathom, and yet I'm well aware of the alternative.

The cats were happy to see the lovable little fur-ball leave and to be the recipient's of all the attention and play time once again. Hazel was curious. Gus was UNhappy. I thought their reactions would have been the opposite. It was fun to have a kitten in the house and Manny is 100 percent sweet, but I guess we won't be adopting a kitten any time soon. That being said, Manny can come any time.

 

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

A new roof. It isn't a very exciting way to spend lots of money, but there is a sense of security derived from taking care of Casa Wags. 

Mike working from home. He's available to deal with contractors.

Progress in turning the 4th bedroom into a proper office for him. We got rid of the bed and are working on getting him a bigger, more functional desk.

And speaking of work...Ted got into the thick of international tax consulting this week and he was pretty jazzed about it. He came home after a day of collaborating with his team so eager to tell us all about it. It reminded me of when he would come home from a golf match and tell us about every single shot.

Cheese orphans. They are perfect for happy hour charcuterie. And happy hour with my fristers.

Day drinking with my peeps. Last Saturday we took a drive to Elkhart Lake for lunch on the beautiful day and then we made a few stops on the way home. Small town Wisconsinites are the best.

 

Country roads.

Mornings on the porch at the Tree House. It's such a zen way to start the day. Ina is also a good companion.

Our fall trip to NYC is booked. We're going in November instead of October so I'm hopeful that we'll get crisp fall weather.

Scoring made in Brooklyn bagels at a local market. There is nothing like a NY bagel.

I made my first stock of the season and then turned it into Chicken Noddle Soup to share with my neighbors as a thank you. Loafs of banana and pheasant bread because soup without bread is unheard of and overripe fruit must be repurposed.

I froze a container to take to Lils later this month.

She's all stocked up because Grandma and Grandpa came to town to take her to lunch and bring her groceries.

They are seeking the sun and extra cuddly when the temps change.

 

 Cat in lap weather. Cute cat at that.

 

Game day pics from the girls. This weekend they're in Chicago.

A quiet weekend ahead staying close to home.

October 9th

I'm very much enjoying the month of October. It's no revelation because it is my favorite of months and fall is my best loved season. It feels more like summer during the day, but a chill sets in once the sun goes down noticeably earlier with each passing day. I embrace it because November and December are also in my top three. Tonight the sweetest crescent moon is hanging in the sky.

Ted has a standing Wednesday night tennis match under the lights for as long as the mild temps last. Mike and I are watching the news and feeling extra grateful for our weather. Prayers for all those in Milton's path and Helene's wake. Hazel is happy that the roofers have left for the day and finally has come up from the basement. 

The doorbell rang at 7:30 this morning. I was fast asleep and dreaming that I was at my mom's. She was having a party. I went to answer the door for her. Mike stirred and I realized someone was at the door irl. Minutes later, they were on the roof. They as in a crew of ten. That's when Hazel disappeared. I put in some ear plugs and put two pillows on my head. I wanted to get back to that dream because it was a really good and happy one. My dreams have been vivid and gripping. I have been grooving on my sleep.

The old roof was torn off and the new one just about on when I got home. A hard working crew is a serious force. The new gutters will be up before the end of the week. We are all about getting shit done right now. Yesterday it was landscaping in the back where we had three ailing pine trees removed this spring. The list is long, but we'll keep ticking away at it when we have the energy and the funds.

We've got a really good rhythm going here at Casa Wags...a healthy, happy balance and there is nothing  better than feeling that parity.

All this taking care of business is a reaction to these unpredictable times. We can control our own little lives and our little ecosystem while storms and wars rage around us. I know it's just a tad more evolved version of putting my head in the sand. It's creating the only calm I can while the chaos reigns in the wide world around us. Life is a whirling dervish right now, but only when I get caught up in it. I'm doing my best to keep my sanity and sanctity. 

October is...

 

My best loved 31 days of the year...the liminal, soultender space between often harsh seasons...transitory...a denouement...the beginning of the end...the fourth quarter...my muse, my moon, my model...everything hygge and homey...one pot meals and all day football watching...soups, stews and stoups that take care of the forgotten dregs in the crisper and warm us to the core...the roll-out of new shows and scary movies that I love to watch with Lils, the other horror lover in the house...time to notice things like showy trees and luminescent skies and squirrels squirreling away for what is to come...mantras like be.here.now and later after my nap or hike or cup of coffee...cozy afghans on every couch and chair...flannel pjs, sheets and shackets...preppy loafers and wool clogs, but Birks and flip flops too...it's moody music, broody mornings, cocktails by candlelight, dinner in the dark...it's pumpkins on the porch and pumpkin seeds roasting away in the oven...apples plucked fresh from the trees and squash so new it will last until spring...it's my mom's pumpkin bread and her pumpkin bars because food is love and food is memories and I love remembering her...it's my annual reading of Piggie Pie a favorite from when they were young and visiting the photo archives for the years of costumes...it's a month of no major holidays or birthdays to distract or steal the show...it's 29 years with the love of my life in this life that I so love.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

The first day of fall. It almost slipped by, but then the change in temps demanded I bear witness. Sunday was cool and rainy and perfect for a slow start. The kit kats slept the day away, the guys were all about football, and I finally felt compelled to make that pot of chili. 

Being included.  It was an honor to be invited to the family celebration for our new neighbor's four year old daughter. They had the most delicious Arabic/Mediterranean spread and everyone was so welcoming. Pizza is the typical fare at most 4 year old's birthday parties, but we ate lamb like I've never tasted before and like kings and queens I might add. The cultural smash-up was a reminder that the things that define us need not divide us...Christians, Jews and Muslims breaking bread together.

Neighbors.

After the party, we stopped at Len and Sandy's for a glass of wine to see their beautiful new kitchen. 

Another birthday. We celebrated my dad's birthday Saturday. The kids came from Madison and that was a happy visit. The girls had to eat and run, but it was just good to see them and feed them. The fajitas were certainly a yummy treat. They took cake to go. The guys played cribbage and the ladies chatted until it was time to call it a night. A good night.

The start off this week was wet and more seasonal. My pots are leggy and not very lustrous, but I'm not quite ready for pumpkins and mums. I'm thinking about them though.

Rain. We really needed a good soak.

The extended forecast is 70s by day and 50s and 60s by night. 

A compliment this week that is still making me feel extra good days later. I think is was validation I so needed to hear.

The reminder that kindness is never overrated and it always goes a long way.

Ted is a dad. Meryl welcomed Manny her adorable kitten recently and he's loving the care package I sent him.

Today the W's picked up Winnie the cutest puppy I ever did see.

The girls found a house for next year. Now they can just enjoy football season in their free-time. Housing is cut-throat in Madtown.

Dinner with friends tomorrow.

Linda is on the mend and coming home from Mayo Sunday.

Our trip to NYC is on for November. I've never been to the big apple during the 11th month. Fa la la.

A snazzy new pair of navy loafers for my trip. A pair of pjs too...a must for traveling.

I finished Tom Lake. It was not my favorite, but I'm glad I finally gave it the time. In all fairness, my disconnect may be the fact that I took forever reading it that caused the impact to fall short.

Sister Hazel sleeping beside me all night long.

Breezes and barred owl calls through open windows. Wind chimes too. Crickets still chirping and  geese honking and all the sounds of the world waxing and waning.

The flavor is Butter Pecan Sunday. Tomorrow is my Mom's Heaven day. Close enough to call it a sign.

This Week

Wednesday is my least favorite day. I'm ready for the weekend, but smack dab in the middle of the week. That being said at this time and place in my life, I don't find myself longing for the weekend very often. This week I am.

I think this has everything to do with my lack of chi right now. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. I need to get centered, to find balance, to quiet my mind. I need to exercise. That's what's missing. 

Another piece of my zen puzzle is reading and that's something that's been absent from my life for way too long. I picked up a book I started at Webb Lake last summer that I haven't touched in the 12 months since that vacation. Tom Lake was still familiar. That fact is proof that Ann Patchett is a character artist. I will finish it before the end of this summer in a few days. Then I'm going back to finish the book I started in Mexico earlier this year. I've got a nice stack of almost reads piled on my bedside table that could take me through the end of the year.

I can attest that getting my groove back in the kitchen has been a good thing. With Teddy home, I up my game because he is maybe the most appreciative and voracious eater in the house. He can and does cook for himself and sometimes us, but I love to cook for him. This week's wins were potato chip chicken fingers, croquet  madam pizza and smashburger tacos.

This is a tricky week for me. My Mom's birthday is Saturday and while I feel somewhat at peace with her passing, I am still sad. It's not paralyzing or debilitating. It's like a constant ringing in my ears. It's distracting and I want it to go away. I know now that it never will and many of you know that too. It just is. It is what it is. It's a marker of time passing, seasons changing and life marching onward in spite of missing parts. Missing, but not forgotten.

This week is also a bit of a reset for me especially in the years since my mom's untimely death. It's not just the back to school and the change in seasons...it's the before and after. It's more a point of reflection for me than my birthday or the start of the new year.

I did an illuminating exercise in my 20s that prompted me to define the pivotal, defining events in my life. The first was my parent's divorce when I was four. There were about seven. I'd say thirty years later there are no less than twenty. Losing my mom was a big one.

This week I'm going to be kind to myself. I'm going to lean into vulnerability and let myself wallow a bit, but I'm also going to look for the everyday joy moments and remember to say thank you for this life that is full of much more light than darkness. More love than loathe, more laughter than tears, more tribulation than trial. And I'm going to do so remembering the woman who gave me this life. What a gift...life...her. My Mom.