I'm sitting here at the kitchen table with a view of the leaf scattered lawn. It's still green and lush and growing. The squirrels are really running themselves ragged this morning. Especially Little Red who will soon no longer resemble his name if he keeps gorging from dawn to dusk. He cannot say no to a single stray nut or worm infested piece of fallen fruit. It strikes me that he is simply busy being busy as I quietly watch him in spite of the long list of things I must do. But I don't want to do right now...I only want to be. I could sit here all day long sipping something hot while I dream and muse.
I am in denial that tomorrow is the last day of my favorite month. I feel a little cheated because it went by at warp speed, and gypped that I didn't have the time to pay it homage the way I like to do. The way I am called to do. The way I need to do. And I guess I'm also feeling a bit angry because the time was there...I just didn't seek or carve out the moments.
And I'm also feeling a little unsure of how and why this is where I find myself on the 30th day of O' holy October. I am never ambivalent about this autumnal span. Ever.
Be but rest assured I will make up for my half hearted embrace of what I know deep within to be the sweetest of days. November days behold a tide and tempo that entrance me almost as much. Our eleventh month serves up an extra generous dose of gratitude along with the comfort and contentment that October offers so I will shake off this irreverence, take it all in, sit with it and give thanks for the blessing to be. here. now. Right here...right now. Be.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Monday, October 28, 2013
On My Mind Monday
I decided this was not the moment to push the point. When someone's wounded, the first order of business is to stop the bleeding. You can figure out later how best to help them heal.
Jeanette Walls
Half Broke Horses
2 day pass
it was a lovely long weekend around here.
the kids had a couple days off for conferences, and i rescheduled myself accordingly.
i love the timing of this fall break.
when they were busy with friends, i was happy to escape out for a walk or into a book, a recipe, or a movie.
i found myself watching the ring in the middle of friday afternoon with the boys.
it was a little spooky for t. bone and not spooky enough for me.
i love a good horror flick best of all and especially just days before halloween.
peanut and tigger loved it because they had laps to cuddle up on in the middle of the afternoon.
later i braided miss bit's hair, and she donned all things peace, love and tie dye for a date with her dad at her school's monster bash.
they had fun, but not as much fun as i had making chex mix and a big old pot of soup for a gathering the next day as i sang along with cat stevens and janis joplin.
when you are home alone with the windows closed, you can sing loud as you like.
saturday we traveled southwest through farms and fields for a surprise party to celebrate my mother in law.
she will be 70 in a couple weeks and had never had a proper surprise party.
now she has.
i think the best surprise was the attendance of both her brothers who came in from texas for the occasion.
it was festive afternoon of family, fun and food.
sunday i met jess for a walk along the lake while the kids were at church school.
it was such a beautiful, sunny morning...a walk was just the perfect way to start the day.
the kids spent the rest of the day trick or treating with friends while i visited with friends and tried to give a crash course in manners to the children and adults who rang the door bell.
apparently, i have many opinions about trick or treat etiquette.
crazy things like costumes are required, and age limits enforced.
we had a lasagna dinner with the ladies and came home just in time for bed.
amazingly we slept like babies despite all the chocolate and sugar consumed.
must have been the gluten.
i'm so glad we all have another short week.
and also another fun, family filled weekend to look forward to.
the kids had a couple days off for conferences, and i rescheduled myself accordingly.
i love the timing of this fall break.
when they were busy with friends, i was happy to escape out for a walk or into a book, a recipe, or a movie.
i found myself watching the ring in the middle of friday afternoon with the boys.
it was a little spooky for t. bone and not spooky enough for me.
i love a good horror flick best of all and especially just days before halloween.
peanut and tigger loved it because they had laps to cuddle up on in the middle of the afternoon.
later i braided miss bit's hair, and she donned all things peace, love and tie dye for a date with her dad at her school's monster bash.
they had fun, but not as much fun as i had making chex mix and a big old pot of soup for a gathering the next day as i sang along with cat stevens and janis joplin.
when you are home alone with the windows closed, you can sing loud as you like.
saturday we traveled southwest through farms and fields for a surprise party to celebrate my mother in law.
she will be 70 in a couple weeks and had never had a proper surprise party.
now she has.
i think the best surprise was the attendance of both her brothers who came in from texas for the occasion.
it was festive afternoon of family, fun and food.
sunday i met jess for a walk along the lake while the kids were at church school.
it was such a beautiful, sunny morning...a walk was just the perfect way to start the day.
the kids spent the rest of the day trick or treating with friends while i visited with friends and tried to give a crash course in manners to the children and adults who rang the door bell.
apparently, i have many opinions about trick or treat etiquette.
crazy things like costumes are required, and age limits enforced.
we had a lasagna dinner with the ladies and came home just in time for bed.
amazingly we slept like babies despite all the chocolate and sugar consumed.
must have been the gluten.
i'm so glad we all have another short week.
and also another fun, family filled weekend to look forward to.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Grateful Friday
Today I give thanks for...
A short week and an extra long weekend.
Conferences. Both kiddos got rave reviews about character as well as performance.
An impromptu lunch date with friends who happened to have the same post conference idea as we did.
Coach thought it was mildly entertaining that I sent him to the school's Monster Bash last night as Miss Bit's escort. The Monster Bash is tonight. Oops! That's what happens when my schedule gets upended.
Miss Bit decided to be a hippie for Halloween. She is all about peace and love so it is perfect.
Chicken thighs and pan sauces. A very tasty and quick combination.
Some deep fall cleaning the last couple weeks. I've made several trips to the donation center.
It's been dark when I get up in the morning. I love the absence of light because it feels like permission to ease into the day.
Miss Bit and I spotted the daintiest little snowflakes falling from the sky the other day. She was giddy. That made me giddy too.
The seafood guy came to town with a fresh haul from the Texas coast. We made a delicious shrimp scampi for Sunday night dinner. Miss Bit and I enjoyed it most.
T. Bone played his final football game of the season last Saturday under the lights of a just full moon at the high school stadium. I think he's looking forward to a little more free time since he's been practicing and playing one sport or another (and sometimes two) for at least 2 years.
Coach is off today too. We are going for a long walk after we see T. Bone off with his friends to rock climb and before Miss Bit's friend comes over to play.
Plans for this afternoon include making a chowder, carving a pumpkin, watching a Halloween movie and just enjoying the most beautiful fall day.
We celebrated 18 years this week. We've come a long way. We have a long way to go, but there is no one else I would want to share my life...this life...with.
A short week and an extra long weekend.
Conferences. Both kiddos got rave reviews about character as well as performance.
An impromptu lunch date with friends who happened to have the same post conference idea as we did.
Coach thought it was mildly entertaining that I sent him to the school's Monster Bash last night as Miss Bit's escort. The Monster Bash is tonight. Oops! That's what happens when my schedule gets upended.
Miss Bit decided to be a hippie for Halloween. She is all about peace and love so it is perfect.
Chicken thighs and pan sauces. A very tasty and quick combination.
Some deep fall cleaning the last couple weeks. I've made several trips to the donation center.
It's been dark when I get up in the morning. I love the absence of light because it feels like permission to ease into the day.
Miss Bit and I spotted the daintiest little snowflakes falling from the sky the other day. She was giddy. That made me giddy too.
The seafood guy came to town with a fresh haul from the Texas coast. We made a delicious shrimp scampi for Sunday night dinner. Miss Bit and I enjoyed it most.
T. Bone played his final football game of the season last Saturday under the lights of a just full moon at the high school stadium. I think he's looking forward to a little more free time since he's been practicing and playing one sport or another (and sometimes two) for at least 2 years.
Coach is off today too. We are going for a long walk after we see T. Bone off with his friends to rock climb and before Miss Bit's friend comes over to play.
Plans for this afternoon include making a chowder, carving a pumpkin, watching a Halloween movie and just enjoying the most beautiful fall day.
We celebrated 18 years this week. We've come a long way. We have a long way to go, but there is no one else I would want to share my life...this life...with.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
The Road Less Traveled
You know what Frost says about the road less traveled? Well, don't take it on your way to work. Especially if it was once the road more frequently traveled. Every block will hold memories. Many landmarks will evoke emotions. You'll be seeing ghosts looking out windows and apparitions hiding behind trees as you travel through your old stomping grounds. At first, you'll see things not how they are now, but how they were. And then you'll be jolted into the present by a stop sign where one has never been, or a quick footed jaywalker, or a bus that cuts you off as it spews grey gusts of exhaust your way. You'll be feeling in between worlds, straddling then and now. Raw and unsettled. Unsure.
The image of the first place you called home will stay with you all day. You'll be able to see yourself playing with Mrs. K's antique toys on the braided rug. You'll remember the cabinet's worth of treasures she kept and how she loved to let you explore them under her watchful eye. So caught up you will be in that decades old memory that you will still smell Mr. K.'s sickly sweet pipe tobacco so many years later, and hear the ice clanking at happy hour in his bourbon high ball. You'll taste Mrs. K.'s standing offering: a bowl of the richest, most delicious chocolate ice cream the likes of which you will never savor anywhere else. The feel of Fannie's silky smooth bunny fur is just a touch away.
That crisp memory will recede as you pass Buckley's and are transported back to the late 80's. Who isn't there? It was the place to go...your St. Elmo's Fire. You can hear Red Red Wine and you do indeed feel fine as you wash down a shot of Jaggermeister all the while hoping it numbs your heart along with your throat and mind. You were so young and also so misunderstood mostly by yourself. You were moving forward from high school to college, but still looking back longingly. One foot in Madison and one foot still firmly planted in Shorewood. You already had an idea that would cost you, just not how much. Is that INXS? Yep, someone played I Need You Tonight on the jukebox. You see him. You knew you would. He's playing pool. He sees you too. He smiles and looks as happy to see you as you are to see him. It feels like kismet this cued up song, this chance sighting.
While You See a Chance comes on the radio real time and fast forwards you a few years. Steve Winwood always reminds you of your brother. You are sitting around his living room. This new place is more bachelor pad than starving student slum. It's comfortable. It has character. You can see the expression of intense mama pride on your Mom's face from across the candlelit room. You can feel it. It's palpable. This is all she wants for her kids. To be near. To find happiness. To find their ways. You are all so satisfied and happy in that evening that it is almost tragic.
It strikes you as you drive down this boulevard you used to commute on every day with your Mom how much things change and how quickly. Despite the fact that it's been more than thirty years since you lived in this neighborhood, two decades since you allowed your heart to be broken, and fifteen years since you thought life couldn't get any better, it really seems like yesterday. A blink. A flicker. A flash. A tear. And you hear Robert Frost as your eyes water and your heart swells:
The image of the first place you called home will stay with you all day. You'll be able to see yourself playing with Mrs. K's antique toys on the braided rug. You'll remember the cabinet's worth of treasures she kept and how she loved to let you explore them under her watchful eye. So caught up you will be in that decades old memory that you will still smell Mr. K.'s sickly sweet pipe tobacco so many years later, and hear the ice clanking at happy hour in his bourbon high ball. You'll taste Mrs. K.'s standing offering: a bowl of the richest, most delicious chocolate ice cream the likes of which you will never savor anywhere else. The feel of Fannie's silky smooth bunny fur is just a touch away.
That crisp memory will recede as you pass Buckley's and are transported back to the late 80's. Who isn't there? It was the place to go...your St. Elmo's Fire. You can hear Red Red Wine and you do indeed feel fine as you wash down a shot of Jaggermeister all the while hoping it numbs your heart along with your throat and mind. You were so young and also so misunderstood mostly by yourself. You were moving forward from high school to college, but still looking back longingly. One foot in Madison and one foot still firmly planted in Shorewood. You already had an idea that would cost you, just not how much. Is that INXS? Yep, someone played I Need You Tonight on the jukebox. You see him. You knew you would. He's playing pool. He sees you too. He smiles and looks as happy to see you as you are to see him. It feels like kismet this cued up song, this chance sighting.
While You See a Chance comes on the radio real time and fast forwards you a few years. Steve Winwood always reminds you of your brother. You are sitting around his living room. This new place is more bachelor pad than starving student slum. It's comfortable. It has character. You can see the expression of intense mama pride on your Mom's face from across the candlelit room. You can feel it. It's palpable. This is all she wants for her kids. To be near. To find happiness. To find their ways. You are all so satisfied and happy in that evening that it is almost tragic.
It strikes you as you drive down this boulevard you used to commute on every day with your Mom how much things change and how quickly. Despite the fact that it's been more than thirty years since you lived in this neighborhood, two decades since you allowed your heart to be broken, and fifteen years since you thought life couldn't get any better, it really seems like yesterday. A blink. A flicker. A flash. A tear. And you hear Robert Frost as your eyes water and your heart swells:
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Sometimes the roads you travel are not by choice.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Grateful Friday
Grateful Friday
Pear martinis on the patio for Friday night happy hour. 3 parts Grey Goose Pear Vodka, 1 part simple syrup, squeeze of lime shaken and served over ice with a splash of club soda.
A spirited game of Aniome.
Miss Bit getting to spend an impromptu, fun filled 24 hours with her grandma and grandpa. I think they enjoyed it as much as she did. They went to see Gravity, out horseback riding and to the pumpkin farm.
Stock simmering on the stove on a grey Saturday. It is good not only for the senses, but also the soul.
The rich and lovely stock became split pea soup. Coach and I love pea soup. Our old secret is 1-2 diced jalapenos. Our new secret is homemade baguette croutons.
A Sunday morning walk along the lake with Coach.
An after church breakfast stromboli. We had to use up leftover pizza dough and coudn't really eat any more pizza. T. Bone said it was restaurant worthy.
The way the cats contort to fit together on the same chair.
Pumpkin seeds.
Grandpa's beef stew for Sunday night dinner. The secret is a few dashes of smoked paprika. It's best served over Coach's mashed potatoes. He's the new potato king around these parts.
Parenthood. I just love this show.
SNL's Boy Dance Party. It will be a classic.
A bit of a blog break. I needed to listen to other callings this week.
I have started Christmas shopping. I love finding the right gift and squirreling away surprises even though I would take five more Octobers in lieu of one December at this point.
Nina Simone radio.
Pear martinis on the patio for Friday night happy hour. 3 parts Grey Goose Pear Vodka, 1 part simple syrup, squeeze of lime shaken and served over ice with a splash of club soda.
A spirited game of Aniome.
Miss Bit getting to spend an impromptu, fun filled 24 hours with her grandma and grandpa. I think they enjoyed it as much as she did. They went to see Gravity, out horseback riding and to the pumpkin farm.
Stock simmering on the stove on a grey Saturday. It is good not only for the senses, but also the soul.
The rich and lovely stock became split pea soup. Coach and I love pea soup. Our old secret is 1-2 diced jalapenos. Our new secret is homemade baguette croutons.
A Sunday morning walk along the lake with Coach.
An after church breakfast stromboli. We had to use up leftover pizza dough and coudn't really eat any more pizza. T. Bone said it was restaurant worthy.
The way the cats contort to fit together on the same chair.
Pumpkin seeds.
Grandpa's beef stew for Sunday night dinner. The secret is a few dashes of smoked paprika. It's best served over Coach's mashed potatoes. He's the new potato king around these parts.
Parenthood. I just love this show.
SNL's Boy Dance Party. It will be a classic.
A bit of a blog break. I needed to listen to other callings this week.
I have started Christmas shopping. I love finding the right gift and squirreling away surprises even though I would take five more Octobers in lieu of one December at this point.
Nina Simone radio.
Monday, October 14, 2013
On My Mind Monday
Author you’ve read the most books from (the grammar nerd in me has to say: from whom you have read the most books): It’s close between Amy Tan or Louise Erdrich.
Best Sequel Ever: None are coming to mind.
Currently Reading: Sense and Sensibility one more time, Glass Castle again, Half Broke Horses for the first time, and A Wrinkle in Time with my daughter.
Drink of Choice While Reading: Coffee.
E-reader or Physical Book? I need a book in hand to be able to dog ear the pages.
Fictional Character You Probably Would Have Actually Dated In High School: I dated Romeo only he turned out to be more Heathcliff...more wounded and destructive than star crossed and romantic.
Glad You Gave This Book A Chance: Crossing to Safety and Angle of Repose. Stegner can be wordy and a little elusive at first, but his prose is always so beautiful, and the characters heartfelt and real.
Hidden Gem Book: Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. Such wisdom.
Important Moment in your Reading Life: A multicultural lit class I took my sophomore year at Madison. Rafael Perrez-Torres walked into the first class in ripped jeans and a crisp white button down full of energy and ideas. It was intoxicating. Eye opening. Liberating too.
Just Finished: The Kitchen House (Loved! Loved!), and The Light Between Oceans (liked very much).
Kinds of Books You Won’t Read: Most sci-fi and any Stephanie Meyer. I tried Twilight, and found it painful.
Longest Book You’ve Read: Steinbeck’s East of Eden. It took me a year, but I loved it like a good friend.
Major book hangover because of: The Kitchen House. I’ve never been big on antebellum novels, but this one was hauntingly beautiful and still lingering.
Number of Bookcases You Own: 6 and counting.
One Book You Have Read Multiple Times: I don’t often reread, but when I do, it’s usually a classic.such as Pride and Prejudice, To Kill a Mockingbird or Great Gatsby.
Preferred Place To Read: In bed, but I seem to find the most time in my car while I’m waiting in pick up lines.
Quote that inspires you/gives you all the feels from a book you’ve read: “We read to know we are not alone.” – C.S. Lewis
Reading Regret: Too many books, too little time.
Series You Started And Need To Finish (all books are out in series): Harry Potter.
Three of your All-Time Favorite Books: Wild by Cheryl Strayed, The Collected Poems, Mary Oliver, and Barbara Kingsolver's The Poisonwood Bible. That was hard and is very incomplete.
Unapologetic Fangirl For: The memoir.
Very Excited For This Release More Than All The Others: A Valley of Amazement, Amy Tan; We are Water, Wally Lamb; The Death of Santini, Pat Conroy; Provence 1970, Luke Barr; The First Phone Call From Heaven, Mitch Albom; and Stitches, Anne Lamott.
Worst Bookish Habit: Reading too many books at once, and always adding to my stacks instead of depleting them.
X Marks The Spot: Start at the top left of your shelf and pick the 27th book: Walking on Alligators A Book of Meditations for Writers by Susan Shaughnessy. A thoughtful gift from my brother in law.
Your latest book purchase: Still Writing by Dani Shapiro.
ZZZ-snatcher book (last book that kept you up WAY late): A good book is more likely to get me up early than keep me up late. The Other Bolelyn Girl was the last that lured me out bed before the birds.
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