October 10, 2010 aka 10-10-10

Apparently, it was a popular day for nuptials, so it was especially kind of mother nature to fully cooperate in our neck of the colorful woods. My bil and new sil were married today in a relaxed, yet poignant ceremony and in a beautiful place.

So relaxed, in fact, that my boy never donned a blazer and the nephews and uncles played football after the vows since there was no t.v. on which to watch it.

Like a stone should your love be firm; like a star should your love be constant. Let the powers of the mind guide you in marriage; let the strength of your wills bind you together; let the power of love and desire make you happy, and the strength of your dedication make you inseparable. Be close, but not too close. Have patience and understanding with one another, for storms come, but they will quickly pass. Be free in giving affection and warmth.

The vows were Kahlil Gibranesque to me.

It was nice. We are all tired. Happy life to the new Mr. and Mrs. W. We'll sure never forget their anniversary.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...


Cool, crisp mornings and evenings. Warm oh so sunny days.

This arrangement from Jess. She gave it to me on my Mom's heaven day. I love them all...my Mom, Jess and lilies.

When Miss Bit's friend called the other day, she took the phone in the other room for some privacy. These girls share the gift of the gab...they chatted for 20 minutes. I better reactivate the call waiting.

Soup and stew weather. T. Bone requested chicken noodle this week. We all thought it tasted especially good and ate every last drop. While we were savoring stew the following night, my boy confessed that he could live on these two meals alone night after night except for the set in stone Friday pizza night, of course.

Fall colors. Our Maple is starting to turn. This photo hardly does it justice.

T. Bone agreed to dress "handsome" for his school pictures this week. He picked out a pink polo and agreed to wear a blue sweater over it that is at least until I dropped him off at school.

This little guy posed to have his picture taken the other day.

These two have each other.

Organic peanut butter. Once you try it, you will not go back.

31 days. I'm loving all the ideas these ladies are sharing on grace, culinary inspiration, simple living, financial freedom, the art of entertaining and organization. I'll be putting many of them to good use.

T. Bone called me while I was walking the other day to read me his celebration paragraph. He was especially proud of his closing sentence: Bermuda may be small, but it sure is fun. Doggonit if we don't have a little writer in our midst.

And Miss Bit took this picture of her Dad. We may have a photographer on our hands too.

Or else a fashion model.

Friends who listen and then offer good advice.

No more smashograms for a year.

My Listography. A whole book of lists for me to compile.

Fires on chilly nights. My bil split almost all of our wood over the weekend so we'll be ready.

My brother and sil, dad and step-mom all raved about how well-behaved and gracious T. Bone and Miss Bit were while they had them last weekend.

My girl was in the newspaper this week. They took a picture of her cheerleading in her fabulous Juicy coat dress. She was a sight!

School spirit. Today is hat day.

The rule at school is that if you give someone a put-down, you have to give them 2 put-ups.

It's going to be another beautiful, summery weekend.

In The Raw

I spent hours at the Audubon yesterday and I didn't see more than a few frogs, a turtle and a bus load of school kids. The loud later actually explains a lot. These city slickers were truly beside themselves for spotting a frog in the pond. And here I sit this morning enjoying my coffee, contemplating my day and three dear come prancing through my yard as if on cue.

Despite running reconnaissance from all the four footers, I thoroughly enjoyed my time on the trails yesterday. I'm pretty certain I covered every foot, every mile. I needed to get out and breathe. I welcomed the time to clear my head, take in the beauty and thank God for it all.

You see I've been holed up in my head the past few days and I didn't even realize it. The mind/body connection is stronger than I sometimes allow myself to admit. I spent the past couple nights worrying when I should have been sleeping, and the days reading to escape when I should have been engaging all because I had a mammogram a couple weeks ago, my first. It wasn't pleasant, but it was routine. That is until I got a call back hours after the procedure. The nurse on the line asked me to schedule another visit due to a "questionable" mass in my left breast. I didn't panic... I didn't fret that I had to make an appointment two weeks out or else juggle an already crazy cache of commitments. I just did what I had to do and went on with my day, my week, my life (or at least I thought I did) until Sunday when my right (yes, other) breast started to ache. That's when my mind went there.

For obvious reasons, I'm scared to death of death. I cannot fathom leaving my kids without a mother. And believe me when I say...It's a dead weight worry that I carry with me every day. Some days it's heavier than others, and I've been bogged down. I was compiling lists in my cluttered head of things to do, what to to get in order (write cards for every birthday and milestone, update photo albums and birthday books, organize family favorite recipes, file statements), things to tell my hubby (Hanna Andersson has the best tights and outerwear, go ahead and blow the wad on Halloween costumes - they're only young once, buy a Le Bien ornament every year for the kids at Christmas, these earrings were my Mom's...I want them to be Bit's, tell T. Bone when he finds the love of his life, he can take the diamonds from my wedding ring and have them set for her). Yep...heavy.

Stress manifests itself physically. I've felt the burden on a cellular level the past few days. My first clue should have been the ghost pains in my massless breast. Instead of being rational and using that as a springboard for an aha moment, I became even more irrational and decided that either the nurse told me the wrong breast, or it had already spread and I would never have enough time to take care of all the things I needed or wanted to before I ended up in the grave (but oh...just for the record, I want to be cremated). Without a doubt all of my worry was negatively affecting my body.

The same technician, who I really connected with during my first visit, did my repeat mammogram yesterday. When she came to get me, she told me she said a prayer for me when she saw my name on her schedule that morning, but not to worry because remember 3 out of 10 women have to come back for more pictures and it's nothing. I didn't remember those statistics. I didn't hear them. I wasn't listening. I'm only 41. There's no history of breast cancer in my family. I never expected to hear anything, but "all clear." And I finally did thankfully hear that yesterday. I felt instant relief although I still tried to get her to refilm my other breast. She hugged me instead.

By mid-day, all my aches and pains subsided and I was able to understand that I'd been waging war on my body. Stress damages these temples we've been given for our time here however long. We just don't know, and I wouldn't want to. And so I'm reminded of that age old adage that always applies: live all the days of your life aka don't put off until tomorrow what can be done today aka happiness isn't a destination, it's a manner of traveling. They all basically express the same sage sentiment.

It's raining leaves, but the sun is shining high. It's the perfect morning for a walk. Despite the Indian summer temperatures, I'm making Gramps' beef stew for dinner. Today is his birthday. He was lucky to leave behind the legacy of a long, good life. I want to live the kind of life that leaves people celebrating me when I'm gone with smiles on their faces and love in their hearts no matter how long I'm here.

October is breast cancer awareness month. I am lucky to only know women who are survivors of this disease. Most likely, they are here today due to early detection. I don't care what the government says, or what this study or that study recommends...get your yearly mammograms.

Clearly, We've Got Work To Do...

On my girl's self-esteem that is. You see, Miss Bit had a special, sassy little number from Aunt A. picked out for picture day this morning. She looked really cute, and she really knew it. This was our chit chat during breakfast:

Miss Bit: Mom, aren't you going to take a you know what?

Mom: A what?

Miss Bit: You know!

Mom: Oh, a picture.

Miss Bit: Oh yeah!

Mom: Definitely!

Miss Bit: I knew it! Cuz' I look Ca-UTE!

Magic Carpet Ride

T. Bone responded to the prompt If I had a magic carpet in his journal...

I would go to Bermuda for a few days. Then I would go to Six Flags, Great America. Then later I'd go to Italy for the food. Then I'd fly to a football field to play some football. Later I would go to Orlando, Florida to go to Disney and Blizzard Beach. After that I'd go to Boston, Mass. to see a baseball game and go to Cape Cod. Finally, I would go to New Hampshire to go to the lake house to go swimming, jet skiing, playing badminton and to visit my family.

Pretty much sounds like the last 12 months of his 9 year old charmed life.

On My Mind Monday

There were times Ruma felt closer to her mother in death than she had in life, an intimacy born simply of thinking of her so often, of missing her. But she knew that this was an illusion, a mirage, and that the distance between them was now infinite, unyielding.

and in my heart, a little heavy...

But death, too, had the power to awe, she knew this now - that a human being could be alive for years and years, thinking and breathing and eating, full of a million worries and feelings and thoughts, taking up space in the world, and then, in an instant, become absent, invisible.

Thanks to Jhumpa Lahiri's collection of short stories. I read Unaccustomed Earth for lunch today.

Evidence

Let these pictures taken at 8:00 tonight serve as evidence of a weekend filled to the brim and even overflowing with fun and family. The highlights were...

An overnight at Grandma and Grandpa's that included trips to Justice for jewelry and erasers, a visit to the pumpkin farm to pet animals and find the perfect gourd, and a stop at McD.'s for chicken nuggies for Miss Bit.

Golf with the boys (he scored 48 without his handicap and 37 with it) followed by a sleepover at Uncle B. and Aunt A.'s. Games of football and Yahtzee before pancakes for breakfast for T. Bone.

Escorting the ladies to Farm Aid, fishing alongside his brother who caught a King salmon in the river and watching and playing football with the boys for hubby.

A six mile walk with my hubby, and being a part of Farm Aid. Hearing Nora Jones sing Sunrise, Neil Young perform Ohio, John Mellencamp rock Pink Houses and Dave Matthews serenade us with Satellite were a few of my highlights.

It's no surprise we're tuckered out.