Good Enough

Yesterday was the first day of summer...the longest day of the year. It was a balmy 99 degrees. Lily spent the day at the pool with friends and came home sunkissed. I was thumbing through my planner and quickly found myself in September. The visual proof rattled me even as I know the phantom nature of time.

It just so happens that I spent most of this year thinking I was 53. I'm 52 so in this case I gained a year. The possibility of this is not lost on me. I don't get stuck on age...on the number, but rather what feels like an bonus year...extra time.

My brother recently told me that he thinks he may die young. He cited our mom and her dad...60 and 49. I wanted to protest, but it would have been in vain because I have felt the same. He told me this as an impetus for living in the moment...something he's quite good at and something I work on every single day. His carpe diem is larger and louder than mine. I'm a big believer in the extraordinary ordinary. In the end, it's the same thing although I doubt he sees it that way.

Father's Day this past weekend was not the usual whole family affair. There are painful rifts that weigh very heavily on my heart, but in the vein of seizing the day, I knew I wanted to spend some time with my dad. In the past, I have found myself in the middle of conflict trying to broker some peace. Not this time. I have made my peace and pray for others to do the same. I didn't try to plead cases, influence or shame. I just did what I felt was right and it was right for me.

I brought breakfast and we had a great visit. Lily took Grandpa's convertible for a spin and Bodi for a walk. We caught up and watched the menagerie of critters in the yard and I left knowing our presence brightened my dad's day making my heart a little lighter and hopefully his too.

We were home before Mike was finished with his 9 holes that became 18. The kids gave him a collection of hot sauces that is all the rage on Tik Tok so we did the challenge sampling all 10 on our grilled chicken. It was fun and not too too fiery...a good meal after a good day at the end of a good weekend.

 

 

Best Place to Be

The last ten days have been loaded, and as we move closer to the longest day of the year, I already know that the next couple months are going to be a blue streak, a blink, a blur. Being present is going to be a challenge. One I'm up for because here is a pretty good place to be.

Last week Lily graduated. This week she attended student orientation at the UW, bonded with her roommate and started the registration process. In between, she's been attending graduation parties. She just left for one now. 

Graduation was a touch surreal. Unfathomable in the way that I still clearly remember my own graduation. I think she''ll remember the lovely night fondly. She humbly wore the cords she earned...one for being in the top 10 percent of her class. Lily never needs to be the loudest voice in the room and that's just one of the things I adore about her. The ceremony was nice and not too long. The superintendent reminded us of the road blocks these kids had to overcome in this crazy world we live in and then he said that the class of 2022 is the best and the brightest he has ever seen. No pressure. I laughed because they looked like surgeons in their Carolina blue gowns. I expect there will be doctors, lawyers, CEOs and lots of success. We posed for some post matriculation photos and then came home to have champs and cake. I was just grateful to get a photo of her in her mortar board. Ted never retrieved his.

We did a quick pivot from looking back to looking forward. Tuesday we left for Madison for SOAR. I also remember my own orientation experience. My mom took me and we had a blast. We drove the VW with the top down and were burned to a crisp by the time we made it to Madtown. After the technicalities, we shopped on State Street and hung out at the piano bar at the Concourse hotel where we were staying. Back then, we didn't register for classes until we moved in at the end of the summer. Registration involved running around a still unfamiliar 936 acre campus, waiting in lines spread throughout the schools and praying for a spot.

Lily is taking her first semester seriously. She isn't sure what it is she wants to do and that is stressing her out a little, but we're trying to remind her that she has time. She deliberately chose her courses to explore areas of interest while also keeping an eye on graduation requirements.

After a 100 degree day of programming, Mike and I headed back to Ted's place and never left except to enjoy the roof top deck after the sun went down. Enjoy it we did. The oppressive heat of the day was replaced by the perfect, breezy night and the capitol alight was our view. Ted's other view. Lily and Faith ditched planned programming and went to Memorial Union for Babcock ice cream and to dip their toes in Lake Mendota. We were applauding that choice and also impressed that she really knows her way around campus. It's feeling more like home for her and soon it will be.

In the meantime, we'll be.here.now. 

Firsts and Lasts

The past couple weeks have been full. Full of firsts and lasts. All good. I finally felt a sense of relief Sunday night. We moved Teddy into his new place on the 58th floor Saturday and despite Chicago traffic and the hoops the John Hancock makes you jump through to move in, it went better than expected and his apartment is pretty darn sweet. Moving into a high rise is no joke. We had to use two different freight elevator banks (one to the 44th floor and another on to the 58th), and we had our very own elevator operator. The four of us (mostly three of them) got the job done in two hours. After a couple trips I started unpacking and organizing. We make a good team, which is good as we have many more moves in our future. Luckily, we have this place for a year. Lily is the best sister ever because she spent her first day of freedom (Friday was her last day of school) schlepping her brother's stuff. We left him all set. The word thus far is that he loves his place, has enjoyed the gym on the 44th floor several times, explored his new city a little only getting a bit lost, and navigated his way via bus to his first day of work on time. He's off to a good start, meeting fellow interns, buddies and mentors and said he'll call again at the end of the week.

Sunday Lils and I attended our last show of the season. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was not our favorite, in fact we almost left at intermission, but I'm glad we didn't because the second act was much better and redeemed the production. It's a good reminder to keep an open mind and stay the course. Yet I was beyond excited to curl up under my favorite afghan with one cat or another for the rest of the evening watching The Wire.

The past week was lots of prep for the big move. Mike and I admittedly take on more than need be, but it's because we want to. Teddy was mostly focused on playing lots of golf, a little poker, and spending some time with friends at Windmill Beach. He's going to be a suit for the next 10 weeks so I understand the desire to front-end load the fun. Although, I have no doubt that he'll be having his fair share of good times in Chicago.

Lily graduates on Thursday. Then we are jumping right into what's next by attending student orientation next week where she registers for classes. Her roomie will be there so they'll get to meet in person and begin the planning of the room. Ikea here we come. She prefers a small graduation party, which is on my list to plan, and then a bigger 18th birthday blowout at Windmill Beach in late July. I am on board with that idea.

The other big first that took place over Memorial Day weekend was our virgin country music concert. We continued my brother's 50th birthday celebrating by seeing one of his favorite artists who is one of my favorite now too. Eric Church was incredible. He loves this country and the crowd loves him. He played for 3 hours straight wrapped in an American flag for much of the show. I had a little hope for this country after this experience.

 

 

 

Closing Time

Last night was our last senior awards ceremony and the last event we will attend at the high school as parents. I was a tad wistful, but my overall feelings were of pride, excitement and gratitude. Pride because we have given our lovely Lily strong, healthy roots. Excitement because she has earned her wings. Gratitude for the community of top-notch educators, devoted coaches, willing mentors and her tribe of peers. Et didicit, quae fun, illa deductim. She learned, she had fun, she graduated with distinction.

She was recognized as a scholar athlete and she also received a pride award as captain of the golf team. I am proud of her on many levels, and also of her classmates, after all, I have watched so many of them literally grow up.

I kept hearing that notable Semisonic line: Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. That's the happysad. The bittersweet. Admittedly, more happy and sweet.

We got home at 9 o'clock freezing (the ceremony was on the football field this year) and starving. Teddy was wrestling with the dough. He managed to roast garlic, pan fry the sausage and habaneros and wilt the broccolini for his much talked about and anticipated homemade pizzas. Mike got to rolling, I uncorked a chianti and started on dish duty, and Ted doctored up the pies that were as delicious as promised. I sat at the island and felt a surge of whole body happiness for this family, this life we have created.

And while things are changing, with Ted leaving for Chicago in days and both kids out of the house this fall, I am content knowing that this house will always be their home and this family will always be their safe place...their foundation...their heart.