I'm Good

It's been a good stretch of days here at Casa Wags. The days are growing longer. So are my many lists. Line items multiply like rabbits this time of year. Unfortunately, I'm finding it harder and harder to make my way here. I think about carving out some time, and then life comes along. It gets in the way as it's want to do. Truthfully, it makes me feel anxious to be missing so much. Isn't that a paradox? I'm occupied in the present not capturing the daily nuances and details and that presence puts me in a panic.

The weather hasn't been springy and yet it's exactly what spring is here in Wisconsin: a tenuous, unpredictable march forward to July when all the sudden it's sweltering. It sort of amuses me how everyone whines and complains. It's pointless. Soon it will be too hot and humid for all these naysayers.

It's true that we had to bring mittens and blankets to ball fields this week, but at least the rain held off long enough for the games to go on. Ted likely played his last baseball game of his high school career. The condensed two sport schedule is taking a toll. There have been so many rain delays that now all the season's events are being crammed into the remaining weeks. He has a good chance at a run for state in golf too. Right now he's first in conference and he feels that he needs to put his energy and efforts there. It's been a topic of much conversation at Casa Wags. I didn't think it was the best idea to take on two sports in the first place. Then I really wasn't keen on him quitting because he made a commitment to the team. I offered my POV, but it became clear to me that my 18 year old son has his very own and very strong thoughts. My 18 year old son is an adult. Amen!

On the mound.

Lily had her first home run of the season last night. It was exciting and so cool that we got it on video. She's going to play in a summer league and Mike will return to coaching. She's in such a good place too.

It's hard to believe summer is so near on the horizon. Both kids have jobs lined up. He's staging houses and working at the club in the bag room. Lily is teaching beginning golf lessons and working in the pro shop. The kids went out on Sunday with my brother and sister in law. It was a tease of summer of a day. Ted shot lights out and Lil shot well considering it was her first outing this year. They make a great foursome.

My twosome. 

After golf we hosted a little Cinco de Mayo celebration. Any excuse to make my homemade black beans. They are so much better than canned. Mike grilled all the fixings for fajitas (steak and chicken), Lily made her family famous guacamole and I concocted what I think will be a favorite summer cocktail...the watermelon margarita. My sil approved. Refreshing and pretty. Ted ate. We all ate and listened to the Gypsy Kings and toasted being together on such a gift of a day.

Thyme and jalapeno infused simple syrup, watermelon and tequila.

Come to think of it Saturday was splendid too. I didn't realize it until Candace came for a late afternoon walk and talk. All day I was busy in the throes of spring cleaning. It was perfect out and such a treat to spend time with my friend. She stayed for happy hour while Mike ran to the store for dinner. He surprised me with what is maybe the best sausage I have ever eaten: chicken, jalapeno and cheese. We played backgammon and had a relaxed night at home. It was perfect.

I've been exercising more and reading less. Right now all I can commit to is Sarah Manguso's 300 Argument's. It's a book of one-liners. I've been listening to podcasts when I walk. Family Secrets has my attention lately. I was listening to Laura Engel's story of reuniting with the son she was forced to give up for adoption and the tears started to fall. I couldn't contain myself. I had no choice, but to continue walking and crying. It was cathartic. The podcast ended the minute I stepped foot in the driveway. So did my tears. Uncanny. I haven't been cooking elaborate or particularly interesting meals. I'm ready for a little farmer's market inspiration.

Mother's Day is on my mind. I've been dreaming about my mom every night. All I want is for my family to come to church with me... to feel their love. To have some peace.