Purge

I've stayed away from this space the past week not because I have been without words, but because I thought it better to keep them to myself.  I have felt quick to judge and condemn and also feeling judged and condemned.  Funny how what we reap is what we sow.  Often cliches are overused for good reason.  In retreating I did garner a few nuggets that I want to put down here lest I forget them. Make no mistake...I will forget them.

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I think communicating via text and email is both brilliant and indicative of everything wrong with our society.  It's so smart when you just need to send someone a quick missive, but it lacks or misrepresents the nuances of tone and delivery.  It's near impossible to convey warmth so we don't even try.  And think of the language associated with electronic communication:  I'll shoot you a text, fire me a message, I'll ping you, tag him. It's borderline combative and at best all business, which is often appropriate, but more often not.  I got a text from someone this week that came out of the clear blue and was all business.  I haven't heard from this person in at least a year.  The text had no greeting.  I read it like a slap in the face.  Even though I waited for days to respond hoping that the sting would fade, it didn't.  When I finally responded, I was careful with my words, yet still not proud of my bristly reaction.  It would have been better not to respond at all, or to pick up the phone. God forbid.

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Know that not everything is about you.  I think this individual is feeling a little frazzled right now hence the curt message.  Even the most enlightened among us are narcissistic, me focused beings.  (And I'm not saying I'm one of the enlightened ones). I didn't stop to think of her situation before I allowed myself to feel slighted even though I was well aware of why she might be spread thin.  I made it about me me me.  My ego.  My feelings.  

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Talk and share.  Listen and validate.  Those people you have transparent, open communication with...the ones you can be honest with and comfortable being so almost always, recognize the beautiful gift it is to relate in such a way.  There are a dear few people in my life that I have this type of relationship with.  The basis of these unions is mutual trust and mutual respect.  When the trust and the respect aren't free flowing both ways, it's impossible to be vulnerable.  Without vulnerability, we aren't able to be open...we cannot grow in our relationship.  I don't have a lot of friends, yet I am rich in friendship.  Quality over quantity.

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Trust your intuition.  It's almost never wrong.  If you feel something, it is true.  Go with it.

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Go to church.  Just like exercise, I never regret it.  Father Tim's 3 things this week (and there are always 3) were largely responsible for my getting over myself long enough to cobble together this post.  His words of inspiration together with my own procrastination.

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Don't procrastinate.  I should be...I promised myself I'd be cleaning out my closets right now.  It is a loathsome task and so I'm avoiding it despite the fact that it is long long overdue.  I'm here clearing out my head instead of cleaning out my stuff so there's that.

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Accumulate less.  I have a friend who always gets rid of one thing when she acquires another.  She is my idol and not because she often gives her lovely discards to me.  Too much stuff is gross and suffocating. It feels good to get by with less.  It's my goal to surround myself with the things that I love and only them.

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Sometimes all you need is a pizza (Homerun) and movie night (Jurassic World) mid-week to keep the blues at bay.  It rained all day yesterday.  All night too so I decided it was perfect to snuggle in all 6 of us gathered in the family room.  At first the resident teenager declined, but we were able to sway him.

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Never give up on the teenagers.  Keep asking, hugging, listening, loving even when it seems that they want none of it...of us.

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The universe isn't against you.  Just because you bought all new appliances except a washing machine and a dryer and now that 20 year old dryer is on the fritz, know it's coincidence not conspiracy.  Call the repair man and move on.

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There are times we all need to put our heads in the sand.  It's OK to evoke the ignorance is bliss card now and again.  It's a sad world we live in when you feel like you need a shower to slough off the fear and loathing after watching the nightly news.