For The Record

I have been shying away from this space lately.  It's not because I am at a loss for words. Never. I always have something to say.  At times, I just wonder who I am speaking to when I hit publish.  Last week my friend called to ask me if the quote I published about being wounded was directed at another friend or possibly at her.  I was a little surprised.  I forget at times that I have readers.  The truth is the words just spoke to me when I read them the night before.  I fell asleep thinking about that line and it was still with me when I woke the next day.  The words resonated with me about no one in particular, although the more I mulled it over, I have to confess they are fitting for any one of us.  All of us.

I try not to be passive aggressive when I share here.  It's not my nature, nor my intent.  I don't think it's personally healthy or fair to the people I know and love in my real life even if they make me crazy at times.  I don't think it's right to use my blog as a platform to air my grievances and then act as judge or jury.  Do I go cryptic sometimes as I wallow?  Yes, I am far from perfect, but I try to keep my interpersonal issues off line.

That means that this blog has become a family scrapbook of sorts.  A running account I cherish.  A labor of love for and about my family...our life together.  Mostly the good, but that is our reality right now: blessed, full of grace, but still with growing pains and struggles.

So I guess I'll keep writing in my personal journals...yes, plural, and showing up here too when I am called to share something I want my kids to be able to read about one day....something I want to preserve  After four years of chronicling here, I cannot quite fathom abandoning our story now.  There's still much to tell.

I'll never forget the night I started My Musings four plus years ago.  It was a bit of a whim.  Yet I am still blogging years later.  Blogging on the same computer despite the fact that I have a new one.  I haven't changed the format, gotten fancy, monetized, or networked.  It hasn't changed and it's not going to, and I'm good with that. I hope you are too...whoever you are.