Confession

The other night while Miss Bit and I were cuddling in my bed reading, she broke the silence.  She said, "Mom, I hope you can live for as long as you can.  I want you to live longer than any other person ever has." I was at a loss for words as I fought the tears and choked on my response.  My response: a hug.  The words just never came.  Her very words cut straight to and through my core.  They were sweet, but also sharp because I finally had to face the truth.  Two truths really.  The first truth is that this is what keeps her awake at night.  The fear of death...of losing people she loves...it haunts my young old-souled girl.  And the second truth is even more startling.  I share her fears, and I also know they are not unfounded.  There is nothing more painful than losing someone pivotal in your life.  It doesn't matter if they are parent, spouse, child, sibling, or  friend.  Losing someone who holds a special place leaves a hole you can never plug or fill.  I don't want my children to ever have to feel that sort of pain, yet I know that they will.  They have to.  It is part of life.  It's the hardest, harshest part.  I know because it's happened to me.