On My Mind Monday

Last night after I tucked a very tired Miss Bit in bed, she came downstairs to find me with big tears streaming from her eyes. As she wrapped her arms around me, she shared a big fear in a small and shaky voice. She didn't confess to me that she was scared of ghosts, haunted houses or the pitch black dark on the night before Halloween. There were no noises, shadows or spooky dreams to explain. No, what was scaring and saddening my girl was the thought of when I die someday. That's just heavy for a 7 year old. It's been weighing on my already leaden mind ever since.

Heavy because I know what it feels like to be without your Mom. Let me tell you...I don't wish it on a single soul, lest of all my daughter. Halloween is hard for me these days as much as I love it. I miss my Mom who would travel door to door with us in her feather boa, festive jack o' hat and bright smiling eyes. I think she may have liked it more than the kids. She always popped for the over-priced costumes complete with all the accessories, she cleaned up after us while we carved, and then often fed us a warm dinner.

It's just lonely without her even when I find myself in the best of company...even when I'm not alone. And the pictures of my kids together on the beach taken this weekend remind me that they are not alone. That someday when their elders have gone on, they will still be blessed to have one another, and as their mother, I pray they always know it.