Another "I'm So Happy I'm Sad" Moment

And I knew exactly what my little girl was talking about.

I wasn’t in the mood to go caroling with T. Bone’s pack at the nursing home tonight. I didn’t feel like making time in my busy night. It wasn’t high on my list to bundle up and go back out into the subzero temperatures again. I didn’t have any more cheer than T. Bone who balked at wearing the Santa hat, but you better believe I put it on out of spite (I'd show him). Miss Bit happily donned the reindeer antlers (she showed me) and we postponed homework, holiday baking and dinner to go sing out of tune.

We were the first to arrive. As we waited in the lobby, residents filtered through after dinner stopping to inquire what it was we were doing there. More scouts and their families arrived, and there was a palpable buzz with regard to the rosy cheeked young faces multiplying in number. T. Bone felt it too…he plucked the Claus cap from my head and put it atop his own with a twinkle in his eye.

As we gathered around the Christmas tree, there was scarcely room for all of us. This was the best turnout I remember in the years we have participated despite the fact that it was the bitterest, coldest night to date. Song books were dispersed, a leader chosen, introductions made and then we started to sing.

The bright eyed residents started to smile, sway and sing along. I stopped my singing for just a moment to confirm that we did, indeed, sound pretty good. Expecting cacophony, the cheerful chorus I heard brought tears to my eyes. I looked over at T. Bone surrounded by his friends and the cockles of my heart were warmed by how seriously he was singing still clad in his Santa cap. Miss Bit wasn’t familiar with many of the carols and she couldn’t read the words, but she stood in front and smiled sweetly for 30 minutes straight.

It struck me how this was the last place I wanted to be tonight, and yet being here filled me to the brim with Christmas spirit. Being a part of this, made me fully appreciate how there is no greater gift than the gift of time. Surveying the children around me and the crowd of grandmas and grandpas in attendance made me realize how beautiful it is to see the world through the eyes of the young and the old - the young so full of innocence and the old rich with experience. The young knowing little and the old knowing better. How much we can learn from one another…give each other.

We ended with a very festive rendition of We Wish You a Merry Christmas. After the applause, the group of visitors began to bundle up again readying to go out in the cold and get back on with their busy evenings. T. Bone was cavorting with friends and making his way to the door. I lost track of Miss Bit for a moment as I chatted briefly with one of the employees. I asked him if he knew Dottie. Dottie was a friend of my Grandma’s who we saw here two years ago when we came for the same occasion. We were both surprised, and delighted, to see each other. I promised to come visit again soon and apologized for breaking the news that my Grandma had passed on just days before. I’m sorry I didn’t keep my promise because sadly Dottie’s time ran out 3 months ago. I don’t think I have to tell you the moral of the story.

I also didn’t tell Miss Bit to take the time to hug and wish each and every resident a Merry Christmas, but she did. She worked the room and they each waited patiently for their turn with the angel faced blessing from above. I am telling you that even the most cantankerous of the crowd were sporting smiles at this point. She gave her last hug and said to me, “I think that’s every one, and they’re all OK.” OK then. We headed downstairs and were putting on our coats when she spotted a little lady looking down a little sadly from the balcony. She said, “I’ll be right back Mama. I think I forgot to tell her Merry Christmas.” Up she went. As she descended the stairs, the two of them were blowing kisses to one another and I had to leave before my teary eyes started to well up and over.

By the time we got to the car, Miss Bit’s tears were flowing. I understood where the tears were coming from. I hugged her and said, “It feels so good to do nice things for others. You made those people feel so happy...so special.” To that she said, “I’m just so happy I’m sad.” And in that moment, I felt completely in awe of the purity of her heart and the wisdom of her soul.

Tonight may just be the best gift I get this Christmas.