Batter Up: Curve Ball Coming

I got a call from my Dad yesterday evening that both shocked and, yet, did not surprise me at all. How is that even possible? I’m telling you…it is. In his long, drawn out preamble to what it was he wanted to tell me, my mind took me to all of the worst possible places and I was already crafting responses. Turns out my mind was right on track. After he made me promise not to tell a soul, and I did so with crossed fingers, he told me that his wife, my step-mother for 21 years, loving Grandma to my kids, has Cancer. Colon cancer.

After I admitted that I didn’t even know what to say, he told me that the reason he was confiding in me was because I was just through this with my Mom and I would know what to do…the questions to ask. Yeah, I know the burning question on my mind…Why? For most of my Mom’s heartbreaking battle, we refrained from asking that "W" question. Looking back, I think it had much to do with the fact that my Mom rarely did. She always said, “It is what it is,” and she dealt with it as best as she could getting treatment and living her life. I wasn’t so strong yesterday and while I never spoke it, I thought I really wanted an answer.

My response at being asked to be my Dad’s confidante was…”Dad, I know nothing about colon cancer.” Nice. Way to throw a leaky inner tube to a man whose lungs are filling with freezing water and then cut the twine. I immediately felt so selfish and ashamed, but also so sad and scared. You see this isn’t about my Mom and it isn’t about me, but it is hard for me to admit that.

Then I started asking the obligatory questions. Details about the diagnosis and the treatment plan, which are both in the early stages and hopefully the cancer is too. For heaven’s sake, they just got home from the hospital. She went straight to bed exhausted, I am sure, from the shrapnel that has ripped holes in her life, and my Dad was making a meatloaf, just comfort food for any other cold, rainy day. Life goes on. Right? Please, someone tell me how?

I spent the rest of the night stuck in a somber, sulking state. I was a tight rope walker balancing on the narrow life line between the dark abyss and stoic strength unable to cry and unable to scream. When this emotional paralysis strikes me, I want to shut out every one and live as a secluded island as we all know no man is.

On my way to work this morning, I started to thaw. Coming back to life hurts. It stings as the feeling returns and our shaken nerves alert every inch of the body to brace for what is in store. I knew I couldn’t do Christian music (too fragile) or talk radio (too angry), so I just cried in silence.

After I calmed down and did a little research on the Web at only reputable sites, I called my Dad. We talked for a good, long while and we had a good, long talk.

This is particularly hard on my Dad because he doesn’t trust hospitals and he has little respect for doctors. I did ask him to put those feelings aside and to just accept that surgeons are difficult and will never give them the time of day that they feel they need and/or deserve. Now having written that, I realize that there most definitely are exceptions to my hard and fast rule, but my Dad is someone who sees the world in only two colors: dark black and stark white. Here’s the thing, my Dad was receptive and I actually think genuinely appreciative of my advice and that may be a first. I feel the weight and responsibility of that seismic shift and I am not absolutely certain how I feel about it. I’m scared to see my Dad scared. But it’s not about me. My Dad is scared and he needs my support and he will have it no matter how difficult it is for me to tread on hostile territory and expose recent wounds still raw, festering and fleshy. I know how scared my Dad is when he talks about keeping life as normal as possible. And I also know that we do what we have to do because it is what it is, but we do not do it alone!

Home on the Range

I am enjoying a rare hour at home alone with nothing to do in the middle of the afternoon. I left work early to attend my son's spring concert...ironic that the freezing rain we are experiencing is supposed to turn into snow before long. Spring has not yet sprung here! The program's farm theme was cute, the kids cuter and of course, my son the cutest. It explains why he has been wearing a bandanna around the clock - even to bed and once to church - he was getting in character. I'm not sure that he even knew I was there and I am so not one of those parents that is going to scream and yell and make a scene to be seen. Never mind that I couldn't have gotten up if I wanted to because the woman who wedged in beside me took up half my chair and then pinned me in the other half. As much as it annoyed me when she got up mid program to leave because her child's part of the performance was over, it was a relief to be able to breathe. I shouldn't fault her...by the time the third graders were done, the gym was more than half empty. It bugs me because it doesn't show much respect for the performers or the teachers. Knowing that my son will be on stage later in the show, doesn't make it right for me to come in the middle of the program. Now having written that, I do understand that calendars are often difficult to clear and circumstances beyond our control often dictate where we will be when, but I think a mass exodus is simply proof of the egocentric way in which so many live their lives.

It hit me when I got in my car that my Mom would have been the one next to me beamimg with pride. It made feel so sad..so alone, and I said a quick prayer that my son did see me waving to him from the crowd and know that he was not alone.

And on that note, I am going to sign off here and enjoy this precious time I have to myself. Being alone appeals to me right now.

Fat Tuesday

Yesterday was Fat Tuesday and I had a very indulgent, most festive night out with the girls. We feasted on escargot and sopped almost all of the buttery garlic up with the loaves of warm bread brought one after the other to our table. We washed that down with a couple bottles of good wine and then had a pizza with the works. There were laughs, toasts, tears and more laughs. It was just what I needed and then some.

When I set out for the night, I had it in my mind that I would make a detour to the tattoo parlor. The same shop where I got my second tattoo nearly ten years ago. That night was a girl's night too. It was my oldest (as in known and loved the longest) friend's bachelorette party and she is just not the type to tolerate the often tawdry antics of the "typical" bachelorette party so we got tattoos instead. Makes sense...wouldn't you agree? We all went under the needle...all of us including her aunt and even my Mom. I couldn't believe the bride-to-be actually did it because it was so against her constitution. I think she regretted her sweet little shamrock the next day, and by Monday morning I am quite sure she was ready to have it surgically removed...that is after her aunt blasted it over the local air waves. She tattooed and then told during her radio show for all to hear...and who happened to be listening, but her sister -the very conservative, good Catholic girl, disapproving mother-of-the-bride.

But I digress. Last night I drove by the quaint tattoo parlor only to find the little mall boarded up and abandoned. When did that happen?  I was disappointed - not because I was hoping for another tattoo. No, I was excited to get my ears pierced. Can you tell that I live dangerously? You see I had my ears pierced when I was a tween. Then my mother paid to have them surgically sewn shut when I was in college after I came home for a weekend visit with more than just a new boyfriend and dirty laundry. I was sporting a cleft ear and that is another story. She was sure that I would never get married in such a state. So yes, I have had plastic surgery...on my ear lobes.

Before my mother passed away, she gave me permission- or more like strict orders- to get my ears pierced again. She was finally over the $3,000 senseless surgery bill and she wanted me to be able to enjoy a beautiful pair of earrings she planned to leave me. So when I spotted a new tattoo parlor down the road, I knew it was a sign. I frantically tried to call my friend to come back and hold my hand, but she didn't answer. I thought - I can do this alone, and then I realized that I was any thing but alone. My Mom was right there with me.

The kid behind the counter who was half my age and had every inch of his body covered in tattoos, thought I needed directions. He actually thought I was lost! I probably would have given him a heart attack if I confessed that I have two "tats" (that's what they call them) of my own. When I told him that I wanted to get my ears pierced, he looked at me like I was even too conservative for that conventional rite of passage.

I took my seat in the waiting room, which was lined with old pews and felt like I was watching an episode of Miami Ink while in church. Apparently, only one artist has the ability to pierce ears...it is an art lost to more provocative personal parts. Ahem. I got a tad bit nervous when I saw his ear lobes. They were very tribal and I'll leave it at that. I chuckled thinking this is what my Mother feared when I came home with two lobes dangling from one ear...now it's fashionable and people pay for it! Another sign?

The whole painless process took five minutes. I left there feeling empowered, close to my Mom, and close to God. That is a good place to be at the onset of this Lenten season. I should be able to wear my Mom's bling maybe by Easter and certainly by Mother's Day. Either occasion strikes me as symbolic and seems rather fitting.

Not Me! Monday

I absolutely did not leave my daughter at day care an extra hour so I could watch Oprah's After Oscar show this afternoon uninterrupted because a) I am so over Oprah b) I am way over Hollywood and c) I am a much better mother than that! That being said, I am not at all glad that Slum Dog (the little Indy film) took away 8 Oscars. Go Bollywood!

When I realized that the stock market is at its lowest levels since 1997, I did not start researching non-socialist foreign countries to move to...no, not me!

I did not sit in the bleachers at my son's basketball game yesterday and spend as much time watching the other cell phone frenzied parents as the kids who deserved my attention and then make a mental note to self: do not succumb to laissez faire parenting lest children grow into obnoxious adults!

It is not true that I washed a single pair of shorts so that my son would not have to play his last game minus his "lucky red shorts." Incidentally, they won!

I did not make an appointment with my hair stylist for my son because I would never try to subvert his hippy/bohemian style...I just like to see his gorgeous eyes and know that K. will help us meet in the middle.

There is no way that I served my kids the exact same meal as they had last night because there is no way that my kids are THE MOST uninspiring people to cook for.

It is not possible that when I called my husband on my way to work this morning (because it is so not true that I pick up the phone the minute I am alone in my car) and I got a "this number has been disconnected" that I didn't immediately call his cell phone because you know the economy is stabilizing and I do not know way too many people who have lost jobs.

I am not letting my kids have a sundae with the works for dessert the last couple nights because they are not giving up ice cream for Lent starting Wednesday.

It is not true that I spent some time while my kids were at Sunday school yesterday trying to master certain Wii Fit games.

The Weather Man Was Right!

Hope you stay warm in your corner of the world! And have some fun too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18vsYFF0rTE

Happy Friday...or not.

In my profile, I mention that blogging will be a "rewarding" way to explore my voice, but I have to admit that it is really different. At this point almost no one (soul sister, husband and Wayne - thanks Wayne for the first and only comment) has even read a thing I have written, and yet I feel like I am so very exposed, so vulnerable. That is mostly attributable to the fact that when I write in my journals, I am uncensored and raw. Let's face it...the grittier the better, but I am tentative at best to go there here. People that know me, know that I am not always (if ever) a glass is half full person, yet that is what I hear in my head when I'm writing here. Protect, sugar coat, make nice.

The truth of the matter is that I had a really terrible week. I have been fighting a nasty cold, feeling like I want to curl up and watch way too much trash t.v., missing my Mom something awful and I am beyond sick and tired of Washington and Hollywood. I can hardly believe that I used to throw Oscar parties and try to see as many of the nominated movies as possible. I did not see a single nominee this year. I cannot believe that I actually got the "Biggest Libber" award in college and was active in grass roots activism on campus because today I want to pack my bags and leave the US of A! Today I am swimming in a literal sea of cynicism.

But on the advice of my good friend who made me second guess what I am doing here this week when we had blogging 101 after dinner at my house, I am going to end on a positive note. Every Friday I journal about the things, people, experiences for which I am grateful. She suggested that I post that here. I may be a cynic at times, but I don't always want to be. I am a work in progress...a multi -faceted diamond in the rough and today my thankful list is shorter than usual, but it sure ain't empty!

• A gift certificate from my valentine for another of Auriel's amazing massages and a quart of chocolate cherry kiss ice cream.
• We have a winter weather advisory. We had so much snow in December and very little since. My daughter wants to make a snow man and now it looks like we will be able to this weekend. Let it snow!
• Playlists. I made numerous in the past week. L-O-V-E them, now if Blogger would just let me post them.
• I logged 15 miles this week and I hope to get to the gym tomorrow. I cannot imagine how toxic I would be this week without exercise.
• A date with my girl this week. We went to see Coraline. She looked so hilarious in the 3-D glasses...they were so big on her little face that they wouldn't stay on. She reminded me of my Mom in her infamous Jackie O. sunglasses.
• My boy took a shovel to the basketball court the other day so he could play some hoops before the bus came. I am thrilled by his love of the game (note the game changes with each season).
• Dinner with J. the other night...it was just the girls as the boys went to the basketball game. It is always time well spent, although I did have a headache yesterday.
• Said headache prompted my hubby to let me spend the night on the couch while he made dinner, showered the kids and put them to bed. That was better than chocoate cherry kiss ice cream!
• Real Housewives of NYC...I could run on the dreadmill forever if they would have a continuous feed.
• I used my brand new Kitchen Aid mixer for the first time and it was A-W-E-S-O-M-E! I added both ground flax and oat bran to my family's favorite banana bread and they loved it even more. It must have been the mixer. Had to be!
• I called my Dad today and we had a really nice, really long conversation. I love my Dad. He is the salt of my earth.
• My in laws are enjoying New Zealand for a month. When they come back it will be nice (or nicer) here too.
• I do actually feel happier, more grateful, lighter after writing this list! There is power in positive thinking.

"Not Me!" Monday

I did not buy a cookbook as a gift and then proceed to read it from cover to cover and try out several recipes before wrapping it.

I did not arrive home after a massage that went longer than I thought and find my daughter and her bus driver standing on the porch waiting for me.

I did not fib about the weight of my clothes when I was creating my Mii for Wii Fit this week. And I most certainly DID NOT have so much fun playing Wii Fit that I forgot to make Sunday dinner and my kids had to have hot dogs and clementines.

I did not eat almost my whole foot long sub today since I simply did not have dinner last night or breakfast this morning.

I did not get so preoccupied baking (remember the Ina cookbook) today, that I once again forgot to put the turkey breast in the oven so my kids are eating fish sticks with a side of sauteed spinach.

I did not let my daughter watch another episode of SpongeBob so I could take a nap this afternoon.

I did not get my kids all excited about having off for President's Day today only to hear from a friend that they did, in fact, have school.

I did not run 20 miles last week after not running for a long time so that now my calves are so sore that I'm not sure I can even walk this week.

I did not turn off the news the other night because this stimulus package is giving me severe heart palpitations.

I did not walk through my mud room the other day and tear off a piece of wallpaper just so now I have no choice but to tackle the project.

I did not cry when Jamar Rogers was told that he is not one of the 36 contestants for Idol's season 8. Then the next day, I most certainly did not find one of the songs he sang (Hey, Delilah) on YouTube and listen to it like a dozen times.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_m-BjrxmgI

Happy Valentine's Day

I'm being a copy cat. I saw this on a blog I frequent and I simply could not resist...It is Valentine's Day, after all.

My First Crush...I was in 5th grade and I was the new kid on the block. Dave Z. lived a few houses away and I worshipped him. He was in head over heals love/infatuation with Liz R. who was hot for his friend, and I would tag along with her just to be near him. I was the one pulling night crawlers out of the cold, nasty ground with a smile on my face into the wee hours with him long after she was back home on the phone with the other guy, but he never felt that way about me. I actually think he likes boys now.

Celebrity Crush...I am not a big fan of Hollywood or its denizens especially now, but I still like to look at Matthew McCanaughy... even more so because he's a dad now. That is very sexy. On stage, Chris Martin is hot too.

The Crush That Got Away...That would have to be Spike. He was the star scorer of the soccer team when I was in high school and I so desperately wanted to score some time with him. He was a junior when I was a freshman. I lusted after him from afar as a lowly underclass woman and I was quite sure he had no idea that I even existed. I would cut out pictures of him from our school newspaper and carry them in my Esprit book bag. Years later we were at the same wedding. His close friend ended up marrying my friend and after a couple of cocktails he confessed that he always had a "thing" for me.

First Kiss...7th grade...locker room...before lunch...M.Q. approaches me and goes in for the awkward 1st kiss and it was not half bad, although I don't think I wanted another one. It was a typical 7th grade romance...it lasted for all of an afternoon!

First Date... We always dated in packs even when we were "going steady." But I think my first "official" date was Homecoming with the Greek God. That deserves its own post!

First Love...30 minutes after I kissed M.Q. (first kiss), I fell for J. and bad. We were a "thang" for 5 years...or 4 years and 4 months too long with numerous gaps upon which I shall not elaborate. We were too young to have the feelings and to face the situations that we did, but I have no regrets. I learned a lot about life and love...do's and dont's.

First Date With My Husband...We knew each other for about 3 years before we started dating and in fact used to double date with our previous significant others. Then when we "discovered" each other...that we had those kind of feelings...we had a painfully slow start. It was just before Christmas break when he asked me out for our first official date (and we had our first kiss in September...that's more than 2 months), but it was worth the wait. He took me to a restaurant that overlooked State Street in Madison. It was appropriately named, Second Story. We had a romantic, candlelight dinner and when we left it was snowing. It was so beautiful and festive. We walked hand in hand to what is now our favorite campus bar...Paul's Club...for a night cap. We just went back this fall and it is not nearly as charming as it once was, but I am glad it is still there. We had a snowball fight on the way back to his apartment and then had to hurry home to get out of those wet clothes and warm up. It is a night I will remember forever.

Sunday & the 70's

I took my kids to sunday school this morning and then I had an hour to kill. My husband had to study for an graduate school exam he has tomorrow so I was on my own, which was actually a welcome respite...we had 4 of my son's 8 year old friends over for a sleepover last night. A little peace and solitude was deserved. I drove to the lake and I parked my car and just gazed out at the water. The sun was warm enough that I was able to turn off my car and just soak it in. The radio was tuned on low to a local station that was playing tunes from the 70's. Linda Ronstadt, The Carpentars, Jim Croce, Gordon Lightfoot...I felt like I was sitting in the back of my Mom's Honda Civic. For a minute I went there and it was real enough that could smell her Ritz perfume and hear her crooning. I felt happy even though missing her makes me sad. I'm thankful for all of the memories that make me smile and know that the time I had with her will sustain me until I see her again.

Now I cannot get Afternoon Delight out of my head. Today, I fear, I am destined to be stuck in the 70's.

Getting to Know Me...101 Tidbits

1) I have been in love twice in my life, or more like two and a half times.
2) I believe in fate, kismet, destiny and that what comes around goes around.
3) I was in the path of a tornado once. It is true what they say: the air gets eerily silent and then all the sudden you hear what sounds like a fast approaching freight train.
4) I both respect and fear Mother Nature.
5) I have numerous journals and lists for every thing. I need to journal every couple days or else I feel out of sorts. When something is bothering me, I write it down and experience immediate relief. I have boxes of journals because I have been writing for as long as I can remember.
6) I think my husband is the smartest, kindest person I know and the best husband and father. I am a better person because of his presence in my life.
7) I am so thankful for my kids…the two brightest shining lights in my life. Every day they make me smile even when I don’t feel like it and I gush with pride every day because of the beautiful people that they are.
8) Both of my kids are old souls. I think I am too.
9) I take notes even when I read for pleasure. I like to jot down quotes that speak to me. One of my favorite quotes is, “Every little action of the common day makes or unmakes character,” by Oscar Wilde.
10) One of my greatest fears is my house catching on fire.
11) I’m also scared of most bugs, especially spiders. I would never last long enough to win Survivor. My husband would.
12) My first car was an orange convertible Beetle with a black top that my Mom had restored. It was named Punkin 2, but it was #1.
13) I love shih tzus and have had two…Marmadutchess Antithesis and Cosmic Charlie. Someday I want another, and maybe a Pug too.
14) Right now I am content with cats and cannot imagine life without our orange tabby brothers.
15) I wear the necklace (a “K”) that my Mom gave me almost every day. It is the last thing she gave me and I absolutely cherish it.
16) I love doing arts and crafts with the kids. I am usually still working away long after they have lost interest and moved on.
17) That being said...I wish I had more artistic ability. I would love to be able to paint a beautiful watercolor, or knit cozy sweaters or make pottery.
18) I would be happy to wear flip flops every day.
19) The Office is the only show that makes me laugh out loud week after week.
20) I am blessed with wonderful family and so many incredible people to call friends. I thank God for them every day.
21) I am not a big Disney fan, but I do believe that children should experience it before the age of 5 or 6 or else, sadly, it’s just not as magical.
22) I love to read, but have not been devoting enough time to it lately. That is going to change.
23) Pink is my favorite color. It makes me happy.  In fact, pink is not just a color, it is a feeling too.  Most of my daughter’s clothes are pink…she has just recently decided that purple is her favorite color, much to my dismay.
24) Weather permitting, I try to get in a hike at our local nature center at least once a week. Clearing my head there is as close as I come to meditating.
25) I pretty much get up at 7:00 every day…weekends included. My cats are faithful alarm clocks. I love an hour of solitude to savor before the rest of the house rises, but I rarely get it because as soon as my daughter hears a peep, she is ready to start her day.
26) I could eat a bowl of fresh steamed spinach for dinner most nights. At first my kids turned their noses up at the fresh greens, but now they refuse to eat the frozen.
27) I have seen U2 in concert twice. Once at Camp Randall in the early 90’s and about a decade later. Both times I was with my brother and both times it was awesome. My husband was there the second time too. When they tour after their new album is released later this year, we will get tickets.
28) I’ve only slept in a frat house once…in my brother’s room.
29) The one time I went to the Oprah show, her guest was Dr. Phil before he had his own show.
30) I don’t know how I ever managed before Tivo. I don’t do commercials…not even on Super Bowl Sunday.
31) I am a neat freak and I love Windex.
32) I always wear lipstick, but I almost never wear the same color. I have tubes stuffed in purses, pockets and drawers. I don't wear much other make up.
33) I L-O-V-E Aveda products. They smell so fresh and clean and make me feel energized.
34) By intuition alone, I knew the sex of both of my kids before they were born.
35) I believe in ghosts. I have never seen one, but I have felt them.
36) I am a terrible dancer because I have no rhythm, but I think I am a good singer after a couple cocktails.
37) The first time I took my driver’s test, I failed because the instructor was badgering me. I think he had it in for me because I was in my neighbor's fancy Mercedes. I borrowed it because I couldn't drive my Mom's stick shift, a Yugo. It reminded me never to judge people by their trappings in life.
38) I prefer silver to Gold. The only gold jewelry that I still wear is my wedding ring.
39) I will be getting my ears pierced for the second time soon. They were pierced when I was young, and I had to have them surgically closed after an earring was accidentally torn from my ear by an inebriated collegiate.
40) I love my 2 tattoos. I will never have 3.
41) I live in my dream house. Even though it still needs some work and will never be perfect, it is home.
42) We moved lot when I was a child. I want my kids to grow up in this one house.
43) I am not impressed by fancy cars or fancy cell phones. I am wowed by nice houses...not big houses.
44) I despise wallpaper.
45) On my days off, I live in yoga pants.
46) I rarely sit down and I don’t really know how to relax. I’m like the Energizer Bunny: going, going, going and then when I stop, I'm gone.  I crash.
47) My parents divorced when I was 4. My first memory is the day my Dad moved out of the house, but it wasn’t traumatic.
48) My Mom, my best friend, died last year when I was 39. She was 60 and too young. That was traumatic.
49) I am a very true and loyal friend, but I’m a Leo through and through. Once hurt, it takes me a long time to heal.  I forgive, but have a hard time forgetting.
50) I must have flannel sheets on my bed in the winter.
51) It is very rare for me to want to see a movie more than once.
52) I played soccer in high school.
53) My hair is stick straight. Until recently, I wanted curly hair. After the birth of my son, my hair went from dirty blond to brown.
54) I have a widow’s peak.
55) My husband and I got engaged in Puerto Vallarta. He gave me a ring he bought at the market because he knew better than to pick it out on his own. Even though it wasn’t a typical “engagement” ring and it didn’t fit on my “ring” finger, I still felt like every one knew we were engaged.
56) I lived in my sorority house for a year. I was anxious to get into an apartment. It was hard, hormonal work living with 30 girls. I'm not sure what I'll say if my daughter tells me she wants to live in a sorority house.
57) I sleep with a fan blowing on me 365 days of the year. Luckily my husband likes the fan year round too.
58) I have always wanted to play the piano and the guitar. I own a guitar that I don’t know how to play and I hope to own a piano one day soon. I still strive to learn how to play both.
59) I have perfect vision and straight teeth although I have never worn braces and once I botched an eye exam so I could get glasses because I thought they were cool.
60) I take tons of pictures, but I’m rarely in any because a) the photographer cannot be the subject and b) I am awfully critical of photos of myself.
61) My younger brother is a very important part of my life and one of my best friends. He may be younger, but I totally look up to him. You would too.
62) I like to bake and I’m pretty good at it. I usually give away my baked goodies because although I have a chocolate tooth, I don’t have a sweet tooth unless you are talking scones.
63) The ocean scares me even though I am a good swimmer. There are sharks in the ocean you know. A dangerous shorebreaker almost did me in when I was in Hawaii. The lifeguard was set to come in and rescue me, and I was most concerned with saving my bathing suit.
64) I am deathly afraid of heights, which is why I am shocked that I went on the ride on the top of the Stratosphere in Vegas. I did crawl to the elevator after in was over in tears.
65) I can usually tell if someone likes me within moments of meeting them and I also can get a sense of whether or not I want to get to know him/her better after a quick first impression. It is a feeling I get…a vibe. Even so…I always try to be friendly and cordial to every one regardless thanks to the golden rule.
66) Every week my husband and I steal away for coffee talk while our kids are in Sunday school. I look forward to it all week and not just because I like the coffee.
67) My perfect vacation is a week at the lake with my family. Swimming, sunning, boating, baseball, Monopoly marathons, cook offs, singing…it just doesn’t get any better than that!
68) I am mostly a homebody, but I do hope to see Ireland, Spain and Italy some day. Not all during the same trip.
69) Tab rules! It’s the only soda I truly enjoy and the can is pink!
70) I am absolutely disgusted with Hollywood.
71) I love to cook and come from a family of great cooks who make entertaining at home more appealing than going out to restaurants.
72) I wear more brown than black and lots of pink.
73) Christmas, Thanksgiving and Halloween are my favorite holidays, but I like all holidays. Just give me a reason to celebrate.
74) Traditions are very important to me.
75) I despise being late and rushing to be on time.
76) I will always have a real Christmas tree.  Or two!
77) I thrive on organization and schedules. My life these days does not allow for much spontaneity.
78) I will take a weekend in Door County any day over a weekend in Chicago. It is much more my speed…chill.
79) I am the family historian.
80) The gloaming is my favorite time of the day especially in the summer.
81) Tuesdays and Saturdays are my favorite days of the week.
82) I love cloudy days.
83) I used to be a runner, but I gave it up for group cardio a few years ago. I am sick of the gym now and I’ve started running again. Spring and fall are my favorite times of year to be a runner.
84) My husband and I used to run together and when I was a kid I ran with my brother and my Dad.
85) I am very grouchy if I go more than a day without exercise. I need me my endorphins.
86) I am a reality t.v. junkie.
87) My house is decorated in earth tones and we really live in the whole house. No room is off limits to my kids or my cats.
88) We have a huge back yard that is home to our own baseball diamond in the summer. Usually there are 3, 4, 5 boys playing in our yard and sometimes even when we aren’t home. We have yet to lose a window.
89) My dream is to put in a pool when the kids are too big to think our yard is the size of a park.
90) My favorite season is fall, but I love them all…winter included. I definitely believe that if it’s going to be cold, it may as well snow.
91) I love shopping on the Internet for anything and everything.
92) I believe that if one of something is good, two or three is even better.
93) Contemporary Christian music speaks to me. My kids love it too. We don't care who sees us singing. When I’m in the car, I’m either listening to that or to talk radio. Most days I boycott the news and the newspaper, but I don’t believe that ignorance is bliss.
94) My Mom was present at the birth of my children and it was such an amazing moment to share. We included my mother-in-law for the birth of my daughter and she was speechless despite the fact that she had four children of her own and was a nurse for most of her life. It is such a privilege to be a part of someone’s birth.
95) It is also an incredible honor to be present at someone’s death. I have watched two loved ones take their last breaths and it brought me incredible peace.
96) I am not scared to die, only to leave the ones I love behind…especially my kids.
97) My family still watches and enjoys American Idol. We even have our own rock band and we love to play Wii Rock Band. I am best on the drums.
98) My eyes change color depending on my mood and what I am wearing. They usually are green, but can also be gray, hazel or blue. There is a New Order song that I thought was written just for me when I was in high school.
99) Except for my four years away at college, I have always lived within a mile of the local river. Today I am just a block away from the water. Rivers and roads lead people on…water inspires me.
100) I almost always finish what I start.
101) I pray every day.

Taking the Plunge (a year, a month and 3 days late)

I dare say that I have a severe case of writer's block now that I am finally following through with new year's 2008 resolution #5: Start a Blog. Just for the record... I didn't make any resolutions for 2009. I guess I just figured, what's the point? I don't know why I'm suddenly voiceless (that almost never ever happens to me). I have been writing for most of my almost 40 years of life. Journals, poetry, fiction...really anything goes. For the last several years, I have been following numerous blogs and intrigued by the whole blogging community. Intrigued enough that I want to join it, so here I am. Hopefully, I'll have more to say the next time I log on although at this point I'm not sure to whom.