Liminal Space

 

I'm here and I'm there...in between home and away, lingering late winter and sporadic early spring, hibernating and watching buds and shoots multiply each day. This is a hard time of year for me. Hard as in disquieting. I cannot explain it, but it's just the way I'm wired. I thrive in my insularity. The thing is, I'm also wired to celebrate the small things. And there are lots of small things and plenty of large things to celebrate right now.

The house is good and full. Lily is home for the whole summer. Can I get an Alleluia? Teddy will be for at least a good portion of it. It's a gift to get another stretch of time with the four of us under one roof piles of clothes and half full cans of Spindrift and all. Since Lily's return last Thursday, she's been staying close to home where there is a comfy bed, cats, her bike, rice cakes, blueberries, Nespresso and Netflix. Last night Ted came home with a victory on both courts: tennis and basketball. We were in the middle of a movie, but we hit pause so he could give us the recaps. When he does this, I am reminded of little shaver Teddy. From his very first foray into competition eons ago, he has recounted every play, point, at bat, hole and we have to listen. It is my privilege btw.

Yesterday was a windows open sort of day. Mike grilled our favorite bone in, skin on chicken breasts and Lily made her signature sprouts. I have missed those. Dinner was pushing 9 o'clock. Since our return from Spain, we no longer fight it. We had both flavors of the day in the freezer from a stop at Kopps last weekend. Had being the operative word. I see lots of custard in our purview.

Last Saturday Pete got a bowl of Mint Chip instead of a cake. It was a lucky thing his fave was flavor of the day. We did a smash up of  birthday/Cinco de Mayo and KY Derby. Mike made a refreshing tequila Julip and the fajitas were sizzling. Bets and rose bouquets too. I won with Sovereignty. This weekend we'll host Mother's Day/welcome home Lily. I'm thinking brunch, but awaiting inspiration. It will come.

 

A Few Words and a Few Photos

 

It's been a minute, or more like a month. I was consumed with planning our trip to Spain. Then I was consumed with fabulous Spain. It was such a meaningful trip. We've been dreaming about visiting for 30 years and to finally get to experience it together with Lily made it special in countless ways. I'm still processing our time spent in Espana. I have hundreds of pictures and dozens of stories of our days and nights spent exploring Madrid, Sevilla and Barcelona. I want to share them all, but I'll pick and choose and soon.

A cute aside...on Easter Sunday Mike cast his pictures on the tv and went through them one by one for the fam. I had to cut him off before he got to Barcelona because I needed him to cut the ham. He's not usually such a sharer. I'm pretty sure that as much as I loved our trip, he loved it more.

Easter was lovely. I enjoyed setting the table with my new favorite duo...a mish mash of my Mikasa and my Grandma's Limoges. Spring gatherings necessitate that I serve in her vintage floral pieces. Roses for Rosie. I opted for a traditional meal instead of brunch, and I kept it simple: Honey Baked Ham, roasted heirloom carrots with the pretty fresh thyme, scalloped potatoes with the best melting Comte cheese and shredded rosemary Asiago for sharpness, a spring pea dish with pancetta and shallots and rolls with the good Irish butter. We served the salad, poured the rose and made a toast before returning to the kitchen to plate the meal. Everyone enjoyed the mix of baby greens, roasted pecans, crispy shallots, berries and panko crusted fried goat cheese in a mustard vinaigrette without the usual log jam that is the flow of our kitchen. This was a game changer for entertaining at Casa Wags.

I didn't take many photos that day or in the days I've been home. I've been happy to be present and definitely needed a break from capturing everything. This has been a common theme as of late. I'm leaning into it. It's a nice change of perspective.

And speaking of  a shift of view...I came back from two weeks away feeling more personal growth than I've had in a long time. Immersing myself in a foreign culture made me feel more comfortable in my own skin. It's not that I just felt better informed, more worldly and more interesting. I felt more myself. Capisce?

I've been known to say, Wherever you go, there you are. I say that cynically as in you cannot escape yourself, but it took on new meaning for me. It seems you can also rediscover yourself. The self that thrived on new connections, experiences and ideas.

I'm not itching to go again right now. If anything, I'm happy to be home, but I'm thinking about where to next and right now I think Portugal sounds about right. I would like to take a whole family trip with parents too. I notice my Dad's ears perk up when I talk about Portugal so while I thought his traveling days were done, this might make him get on an airplane again. I'll keep gently planting the seed.

As far as I can tell, Spaniards enjoy life. They work enough to live and then they live well. They don't accumulate things. They value experiences over possessions, relationships over reputations and I was very much drawn to that. Inspired. Enlightened. I'm just going to bask here in that feeling awhile longer, but I'll be back soon.

 

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

spring and i usually don't say that, 40's one day and 60's the next, snow and thunderstorms in the same day reminding me that mother nature is fickle. st paddy's day, remembering and toasting mcgurk, making the must makes...shepherd's pie and soda bread, sunday afternoon reubens with jess washed down with a miller lite, wearing our green - hazel's eyes win- sporting shamrocks. march madness, cheering on our badgers and supporting the tar heel in the fam. the many faces of gus...one cuter than the next. evening walks. showy sunsets, the herd of deer that escaped the lone coyote as we bore witness with bated breath. chipmunks awake and chirping just to let us know. robin brigades taking over the yard. rainbow-colored tulips and sunny daffodils, roots getting ready to add color to our world. the crazy, beautiful, bountiful world. wide. lils...here and there, afar...and as close as a a few rings away. glimpses...into her travels, the future, what's important. dreams (night and day), sleep, peace. the sunrise like clockwork every day, the first cuppa, the way each day unfolds with its each fancy and whim. the idea of ebb and flow, osmosis, manifest destiny, just do it. just say it...the whole truth, i love you because,  i'm sorry with no but, always always thank you.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

Evening walks. The days are getting longer and the wind warmer. I kinda like going it alone, but often one or both of my boys will want to come along and that's good too.

My brother and sister-in-law met Lils in Madrid last weekend. She soaked up the family time and some first class travel. And even though it was raining, they were smiling in all their pix. Thankfully, Barcelona was perfectly sunny for their stay in what is Lil's city now. This weekend they are in Paris and Lily is in Florence visiting her oldest friend.

Countdown is on. I'm still living vicariously, but not for much longer.

Lily and Grace in Florence and friends who knew you when. The girlies were besties in K4, and then went to different schools in K5. While they stayed in touch, they really reconnected in high school. 

Two girls. One steak.

 

Lily's trying all the things after only eating chicken for years.

 

 

 

Two dates with my guy last weekend. Dinner out Saturday and then a little happy hour after sitting Shiva for my friend's dear father...my friend who I've known and loved since 7th grade. Yea, one of those.

 

Vionics. I finally found the perfect pair (or 6) for traveling: cute and comfortable. I got them on sale, but I still cannot justify keeping them all and I certainly can't bring them. It's a good problem to have.

February girl's birthday brunch. We haven't hosted since Christmas. I didn't realize how much I missed it until I was in it. Planning, cooking, decorating was a lot of fun. My Croquet Madams were deliciously decadent, but the birthday cake I made for my girls was the star. I'd forgotten the perfection that is this Strawberries and Cream Cake. It's so good that I'm making another one this weekend.

Setting the table pretty.

Using the good china and crystal.

Fresh flowers. 

Men who can cook...Mike's deviled eggs. Everyone loves them. Most of all me especially when garnished with potato chips. OMG!

Baking. Whether I'm celebrating or comforting, it's the way I show I care. When I bake you a cake, I'm giving you a hug. I was happy to give a couple hugs this week.

 

This face.

 

Sister Hazel. My constant companion.

 

 

M&M. Manny and Meryl. 

On My Mind Monday

 Always go to the funeral means that I have to do the right thing when I really, really don't feel like it. I have to remind myself of it when I could make some small gesture, but I don't really have to and I definitely don't want to. I'm talking about those things that represent only an inconvenience to me, but the world to the other guy. You know, the painfully under-attended birthday party. The hospital visit during happy hour. The Shiva call for one of my ex's uncles. In my humdrum life, the daily battle hasn't been good versus evil. It's hardly so epic. Most days, my real battle is doing good versus nothing.

~ Deidre Sullivan