weekending

it was pretty much the perfect weekend.

perfect because it was filled to the brim with our favorite things.

things like family and friends...races and games...football and golf...cooking and entertaining.

you get the gist.

the scales were tipped in favor of enjoyment and that is what weekends are all about.

unfortunately, mike spent a fair amount of time painting lily's room and that isn't really his idea of fun.

the thing is he's doing it for her, and she is most appreciative and excited.

i so love the spa blue that reminds me of the sea and the sky that i've teased her about moving in myself and ribbed him about painting the master ceiling that same shade.

he says no and not just because he's over manual labor.

jess stopped by on a whim for a sneak peak and ended up staying for pizza and wine.

i love friends who know they are always welcome, carbs and grapes.

 it's also peanut approved.

saturday we were up early for ted's last cross country race of the season.

the course was hilly and challenging.

it was tough for the team...ted included.

he took third on his team.

he likes to take second, and would love to come in first.

next year perhaps.

now we're onto baseball (training) and getting a job.

team spirit

lining up

and they're off

 ted's at the head of the nicolet pack

 after the first hill, he falls back to second for his team and third overall

in a sea of blue

after the race...he's smiling because it's over, we're smiling because he's ours and we're proud

after the meet, ted went to lunch with the team and then to play football with friends.
the life of ted is a splendid thing.

mike got back at painting.

lily and i went shopping for her room and then made a detour first to the apple orchard and second to the pumpkin patch.

we filled a bushel with cortlands and our favorite yellow golds.

we piled a wagon full of fat pumpkins for carving.

then we came home with just enough time to make treats for our neighbor's badger party that evening.

appleman

we were lucky to find so many trees still full of fruit

 caprese, pizza, and proscuitto, brie and fig homemades for game time

snicker doodle chef at work

ted talked his way out of sunday school in order to golf with his grandpa and his uncle.
remember snow and job coming soon.

mike got back to painting again, but he would have much preferred to golf.
thanks love.

lily went to sunday school and i went shopping again.

this time for sunday night family dinner with my brother and sister-in-law.

lily played her last softball game of the season on the beautiful afternoon.

ready at first 

getting on the bag to make a play

OUT!

she and i came home and got busy in the kitchen again.

our carefully planned menu went like this: herbs du provence grilled chops, homemade parmesan and basil gnocchi, cider braised brussels sprouts with bacon and lilys made with love applesauce. 

triple berry pie with vanilla bean ice-cream was for dessert breakfast.

blueberry, raspberry, blackberry perfection.

my first lattice top...had to consult mike the painter for assistance

next time i'll add twice as much turbinado sugar

farmer's market beauts

gnocching...they are putzy. 

she was the gnocchi master, but truth be told it was a family affair getting these cuties from pan to table. not sure there will be a repeat performance any time soon.

we gathered around the table for snacks, games (a competitive spelling bee this night) and then dinner.

every one of us lamented that the weekend wasn't longer.

yet each of us gave thanks for the blessings before us and the week ahead of us.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

The weekend forecast. It's going to be like summer here for a stretch.

Fall colors. They're intense and everywhere.

Mike and all his hard work around the house this past week. He shampooed every inch of carpet in the house and now he's painting Lily's room.

Lily's new room. This is the rug we picked out and the walls are the perfect spa blue. The yellow she had, which I selected when we moved in this house 11 years ago, was electric so we're taking it down a notch. Peanut approves, and Lily cannot wait to move back in.

The love this guy has for his girl. He just wants to be near her. It's sweet. 

If she's late to breakfast, Peanut helps himself. He likes bacon and Trader Joe's almond croissants. 

Doing the hard work of packing away and purging. Lily's room has been mostly the same since we moved in. Well, we got rid of the baby furniture, but her shelves were still loaded with picture books and her chest was filled with stuffed animals. She's ready to move on. Me not so much so I loaded up some storage bins and hauled them to the basement where they'll wait until I find a recipient or have grandchildren some day in the faraway future.

Truth and acceptance. Honesty. There's some heavy stuff going on in my extended family. It involves terminal illness and the dismantling of a house. I have certain feelings about the way people are being treated and they aren't positive. Usually, I keep a lid on it for the sake of keeping the peace, but this week I had to be blunt. In turn, this experience has made me even more grateful for the thoughtful, peaceful way my brother and I behaved during an emotionally draining time. Sickness and death aren't convenient. Going through a lifetime of belongings isn't easy but it's just stuff, yet I love seeing my mom's painting on Candace's wall when I visit. It makes me happy to sit at her dining room table at my Dad's house. It brings me joy to think of her closest friends hanging an ornament from her tree on their's every year. So yeah...stuff, but important stuff because it connects us to memories.

Hope for healing.

This outtake. This is his hurry up and take the picture face. He sorta shuns photos these days. In the rare event that I get one, I'm usually forbidden from posting it on Instagram. He didn't say anything about my blog though so I'm taking that as permission. I wasn't sure about the red pants, but he looked so handsome.

She still happily poses for pictures even at 7:20 a.m.

Broody skies. 

Friday happy hour.

Kitchen inspiration thanks to a change in seasons and new cookbooks. Yet here are some old favorites that I assure you taste much better than they look. Ina's Company Pot Roast is a star because of that veggie gravy. And what's not to love about a one dish Garlic Lemon Chicken with Green Beans and Baby Potatoes?

King of the mattress. Tigger knocked it down and then taunted Peanut who was circling. The games likely continued long after I left for work.

A pretty chill couple days ahead.

October Inventory

Reading

I spent a great deal of time on beaches this summer, and yet I didn't read as much as I hoped. So often I'd be lured by the world before me from the book in front of me and that's OK. I am gearing up for the final months of 2016 and plan to get through a stack of well recommended titles. These are the summer reads I can remember:

The Passenger and yet I scarcely remember this, but I gave it a 3 1/2 in my journal. I think it was a quick thriller just right for passing time, but also forgettable.

Picnic in Provence I gave this a 4-4 1/2. It was a happy memoir that transported me to the French countryside and inspired me to religiously shop farmer's markets all summer long and to try some new and delicious things in my kitchen. I want to read Lunch in Paris some day. Maybe next summer.

The Girls I almost skipped this after reading reviews, but then I was lured in by the cover. I ended up liking the novel more than I expected, but it was haunting and uncomfortable for me as the mother of a daughter not much younger than the narrator. I gave it a 4.

Sons and Daughters of Ease and Plenty started out so strong and then midway it just got strange. It felt like two different novels by two different authors, and that I didn't appreciate. I couldn't give it any more than a 3-3 1/2 out of 5.

Leaving Lucy Pear was well developed and told. I especially liked the female characters, but I was left wanting more from their sorority and that's why I only gave it a 4.

Sweetbitter was a quick and entertaining read, but the characters were contrived and thus the story was predictable. It kept my attention though so it scored a 4.

When Breath Becomes Air finally. I'd tucked this away and decided to take it on the week between my mom's birthday and her death because I'm a glutton for punishment. After reading an excerpt last year in the NYT Magazine, I expected the book to be more philosophical than practical so I was surprised when it was more an accounting of his medical training than a discourse on his life and death. It was still a 4 and a worthy read.

Patient H.M. is on my night stand. I'm about halfway through and 90 percent certain I'm through. I'm giving up because this is not so much a story of Henry as it is a history of brain surgery. It's too technical, it's boring and it's giving me a major head ache every time I read it. It's also beyond dark and sad.

How to Celebrate Everything is a cookbook, but I'm reading it from cover to cover and resisting the urge to head to my kitchen and start cooking every time I read a few pages. This is another treasure trove of tried and true recipes, but I'm loving Jenny's stories just as much and I'm wondering why I didn't write this when I had nearly the exact same idea years ago.

Small Victories another cookbook and another great collection. There are so many fun riffs on old favorites that I feel like cooking my way through this one as well.

Blue Horses another beautiful book of Mary Oliver inspiration ala poetry. 

Wondering if it will rain every time I have plans to head to the apple orchard. Two Wednesdays in a row were washouts and I'm starting to get a complex.

Hoping we get Lily's room painted and put back together before the end of the weekend and that she loves her room redo.

Watching Designated Survivor as a family, Secrets and Lies with Lily and Narcos with Mike. I'm still tuning into DWTS and Survivor too. I'm rooting for Marilu Henner because I know my mom would have and definitely the Gen Xers because millennials not so much. Watch this and tell me it's not hilarious. Two decent movies. Paper Towns over the weekend and Girl on a Train the other night. I took Lily and some friends to see Miss Peregrine so I dragged Mike along and we had our own movie date. I read Girl on a Train last year, but I liked the movie better than the book and that almost never happens. Mike liked it too.

Listening to my fall music. That's Grover Washington Jr., George Winston, Vince Guaraldi, Cat Stevens and Rickie Lee Jones. Well, always RLJ.

Eating like it's fall. Last night it was Ina's Company Pot Roast even though there was no company. When Ted walked in the door at the end of the rainy, grey Wednesday, he was pleased with the aromas and he let me know. That's music to my ears. The picture below is Whole30 chili and it's another family favorite. The scant shreds of cheese and the dollop of sour cream are not Whole30 compliant, which leads me to the confession that we are bending some of the edicts. It's OK though because all things in moderation is true healthy eating and that is the goal.

Wanting a candidate I can truly feel good voting for, cooler heads to prevail, not to be confused about whether SNL is comedy or reality every week.

Thinking that America may never be great again.

Enjoying the sublime fall we've been having, 150+ days of 60 degrees or higher, white pumpkins and tiger pumpkins, bouquets of multi-colored mums, and apple everything. Also lazy weekends at home, lakefront walks with my husband, curling up at the end of the day with a cat and a book, plans...lots of plans for the house, for the holidays, for writing.

Loving this passage from When Breath Becomes Air even though I believe very much in the wisdom of children and the old, and the importance of living in the moment. 

I don't believe in the wisdom of children nor in the wisdom of the old. There is a moment, a cusp, when the sum of gathered experience is worn down by the details of living. We are never so wise as when we live in this moment.

Weekending

i'm sitting here trying to find the words to sum up the weekend.

i'm at a loss.

it seems a bit pointless to prattle on about the things we did, the weather, the fun.

pointless in light of the things weighing on my mind and heart...

family stuff, friend stuff, political shit.

but maybe that's exactly why i come here...to share the good parts.

they are evidence.

evidence of joy and hope and sanctity.

this is my testimony...

teddy got a pr in his last conference meet of the season, played golf both saturday and sunday, and had a blast before, during and after homecoming with a group of friends..

both the kids attended the homecoming festivities on a beautiful friday night, and they even said hi to one another in public.

mike took lily to the mall so i could take a nap and she could indulge her bath and body works and combat boot desires.

both their sunday school teachers brought delicious pastries for class and while they gorged, mike and i walked along the lakefront enjoying the sublime sunday morning and the showy sky.

saturday night it was chinese delivery and paper towns.

sunday night was mexican take out and the packers.

lily's team won their soft ball game.

not sure who won the debate, but i'm quite sure it's not the american people.

and yet here is proof that life is full of goodness and grace.

 

 

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

A skinny vanilla latte this morning and the friend who delivered it to me.

Despite the fact that I overslept by 1/2 an hour this morning, I still managed to serve the kids a hot breakfast, make their healthy lunches, and send Lily off with nicely coiffed hair for picture day.

That I bought 2 pecks of apples this week because Ted took one to his spaghetti dinner last night.

Tonight he runs his last race. I'm sad to see the season end. It's such a positive experience. Hopefully, he'll hit the gym all winter long to get ready for baseball and to blow off energy.

Homecoming this weekend. Lily has plans to attend tonight's festivities with friends and Ted will join his after cross country. Then tomorrow he is going for dinner and to the dance with a group of guys and girls. This year he's a man with a plan.

My maple tree.

Mike for taking off with me on the anniversary of my mom's death. We ended up having lunch at her favorite burger joint and as we toasted her, I realized that we were enjoying her very last meal.  

Ornamental cabbage.

New pillows. 

A dinner date.

Groovy guys.

Squash season. I baked these last week topped with brown sugar, maple syrup and butter and they were more like dessert than dinner. Next week I'm making acorn squash soup.

A World of Octobers

I'm an English major and the only thing I know about Anne of Green Gables is the often quoted sentiment L.M. Montgomery made about this month. She wrote, "I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers." I must think this myself at least once a day for the 31 of October. It's such a crisp, colorful, cozy month. Yesterday I felt lucky to be alive and lucky to be alive right here as I drove along country roads bursting with autumnal glory. I didn't care that I kept making wrong turns in route to the orchard because everywhere I looked I was stunned by the scenery. It didn't matter that the pop-up storm made picking apples unappealing because peck upon peck were for sale at the farm stand. I bought a peck of Honey-crisp and a peck of Cortlands. They'll last a few weeks until Lily and I return to pick enough apples (Galas and others) to last us much of the winter. I'm telling you, once you've tasted an apple plucked in the sun straight from the tree, it's impossible to enjoy the too many months old fruit you find in the grocery store.

On the way to the farmer's market, I opened all the windows and let the dewy air surprise my skin. The sun came out somewhere along the way and shone down on the geese making them silhouettes in the sky. I saw a hawk resting on a weather-worn scarecrow in a patch gluttonous with fat orange pumpkins. I made a mental note to start stock piling for jack o' lanterns. 

Despite the temptation, I didn't buy any pumpkins at the market. I didn't buy any mums either because my summer flowers are still flowering. I cannot abandon these blooms just because they're getting a little more woody and less looksy. I'm still drawn to the last of last season's tomatoes admittedly not as ruby red or abundant as just weeks ago, but better then they'll be in a couple weeks when I have no choice, but to buy them from the grocery store. I bought two baskets of beans that still taste like summer. Amen. I've been so spoiled by the fresh, locally grown produce this summer. I shopped this market every week religiously. I've gotten to know some of the farmers. I don't mean to suggest that we're on a first name basis, but there is a familiarity and also an awareness of who has the best crops. Yesterday I was seduced by the fresh Brussels sprouts and squash in all shapes, sizes and colors, but I only bought a single spaghetti squash. I know the source of my resistance to stock up. I could hear myself say...next week again and again. I'm remiss to embrace my favorite month because I'm in denial that it's here and passing.

It's clear I'm all about the crescendo, the build up. I'm happiest when I'm looking forward...when my favorite things are out there in my purview, yet to come. It's at this time of anticipation and hope and promise that everything and anything is still possible. There's a danger in riding the upsurge too long though. The risk is in living for the moment not in the moment. When I'm stuck being hypothetical, I'm not being existential. I must confess that there have been times in my life that I've enjoyed the before more than the during. Many times, but I'm working on it.

For now I'm counting my blessings that I'm fully awake to the rest of the month ahead, and it's only October 6th. 

Weekending

one step forward...two steps back. it's the story of my life and likely your life too. so i don't think i'm being too bold to state that it's just life. push and pull, ebb and flow, rise and fall, hot and cold, progression and transgression...they are always in play. we wax and we wane just like the sun and the moon.

the past week had more valleys than peaks, but it's the peaks that keep my head above water. it's the pinnacles i choose to remember, and it's always a choice even when it's not. this past weekend had plenty of bright spots despite the fact it rained like a sieve for days (and nights) on end. when the sun finally made an appearance late one afternoon, it's fluorescent presence felt like an interrogation instead of a reprieve. 

i was looking forward to friday evening all week long, and the party i had planned for kathy's gals sort of kept me sane and even smiling throughout. the timing had more to do with rose's westward migration than the eighth anniversary of my mother's death, but then i am a firm believer in fate versus coincidence. how else am i to explain that the first song to cue up on pandora once we gathered was september? and it wasn't even the earth wind & fire station. i expect these little winks and nods and so they no longer give me the chills. no, they keep me warm. two of my mom's high school friends came from an event celebrating their 50 year reunion. another turn of fate? they came with old photos and stories and the peace that comes from knowing that my mom was here and there in spirit. you know...gone, but not forgotten. missed. i'm going to miss rose too, but i'm excited for her and hoping to make it to sedona for a visit while she's there.

the rest of the family sauntered in. mike and lily from a dinner date and ted from hanging out with friends and we all visited. the kids love all these ladies and know how important they are to me. they've watched first teddy and then lily grow up. i think it's important for my two, especially lily, to see and experience positive friendships full of support and honesty and inclusion. young women need models of healthy relationships in order to know to set their own bars high, to have the sense to avoid toxic people, and to understand that sometimes your most cherished friends can be the people you may not have expected.

i was up by 8 o'clock saturday, and ted was already out for a run in the rain. it was a quiet morning of cat cuddles, coffee, books and a movie before we went our separate ways. mike joined a group of old friends to watch the badgers, i took lily to a birthday party at the roller rink and left ted home to watch the games with friends and an extra large pizza, and then i went to jess's to admire her recent and beautiful home renovations. i think we were all quite content.

sunday morning ted was once again the first one up and out. this time to cheer on his cross country coach who was running the milwaukee marathon in the rain (still). then he met up with his aunt and uncle to golf the boggy course. they are fanatics. lily's soft ball was cancelled due to conditions so she did homework and then science experiments for fun. we all gathered for sunday dinner and i served an old favorite from our childhood, beef stroganoff. it is known as nanny's noodles now and i make it the same way my mom used to: with cream of mushroom soup (gasp) and sour cream. my brother even tried to question my use of fresh garlic in the sauce and fresh parsley on top because that's not the way mom made it. i served it with buttered corn and cottage cheese just like mom did though so he was happy. we toasted her in heaven and also my brother's hole in one on the course that day. celebrate everything. it's definitely one of my mottos. 

we all had off monday for rosh hashana. we celebrated the new year shopping for new clothes since we aren't jewish. grandma and grandpa took lily and i took teddy. they both had much success and are wearing their new outfits despite the fact that summer has returned to our neck of the woods. we all met for a quick lunch.  it was sure nice to spend some time together on our day off.

at the end of the day, mike perfectly grilled steaks and we caught up on designated survivor, a family fave this season, before turning in for the night. but not before i had to edit one child's paper at the tail-end of the weekend and deadline. we have a procrastinator on our hands.  

i plan to keep my head above water in the week ahead and to keep my eye out and heart open for everyday's joy moments because they're here.