Mom Rant

Yesterday was the first day of the first full week of summer break.  I want to take issue with that "b" word just so you know.  Break for whom?  From what?

There's another word already on my radar.  It's a "b" word too...bored.  When I came home from a long day at work after a mostly sleepless night before, I could tell that my two were restless.  I tried to steal a quick nap out of complete necessity.  Lily woke me twice.  The first time to ask me what our evening plans were and then to ask what was for dinner.  My somewhat guilty response to her first question was, "no plans."  The second question reminded me that I had to make a grocery run before I could serve them real food.  She said chicken and he said pasta. Here we go!

My only question to her was, "Are you! already!! bored!!!!?"  I was rather shocked that she answered me affirmatively.  It was a bold move.  Pay attention to that punctuation, it's important.  It reads more like "Are you absolutely (expletive) kidding me that you are (expletive) bored already?" Instead of, "Oh no please don't tell me that you have too much free time and too little stimulation.  I'm such a bad mom.  Let me get out my bag of tricks to make sure that you can prove to Facebook and Instagram that you have had the best summer ever!"

Seriously, what I wouldn't give for twelve weeks free and clear.  I just know that "b" word would so never cross my lips.  But what's the crime in being a little bored anyway?  Idleness is not the enemy. Down time is essential to restore reserves and after the weekend we had, I thought we could all use a little restoration.  The beauty of unstructured time is that it inspires creativity - it calls children to tap into their own trick bags - only I'm not sure the children of today have any. I am so close to going on a rant about when I was a kid, but I don't have time because today is my first day of summer break. I get two each week oh goody! Only it's not really a break.  Capisce?  I still have to figure out a way to get all my stuff done and in warp speed so that then I can be available to enrich and entertain my children. I'm already exhausted!

To My Grad:

Teddy,

Today is your last day of middle school.  You are on the very heel of an ending and the cusp of a beginning. A happy ending and a big beginning.  Middle school has been memorable.  You have made it so.  You've worked hard and played hard the past 4 years, and I am proud of you more so for your growth in character than your grades earned, but I'm proud of those too. Very proud!  I know you are too.

Tonight we will attend your graduation ceremony with smiles on our faces, excitement and a tear or two in our eyes, and maybe a trace of nostalgia in our hearts.  The years really are minutes.  The days are nothing but moments.  That's why I'm glad we'll all gather in the sweaty gym tonight to mark this rite of passage.  It's a big deal to end a chapter in the book of your life.  And while I know the story isn't over, this short but determining part is.

I have no doubt that the next 4 years will be even more formative and instrumental in shaping what you decide to do with your life as you continue to learn, grow and mature, but who you are is already deeply entrenched and clearly evident. You are an honest and moral young man who cares about doing the right thing.  You are a hardworking learner who values knowledge and experience.  You are a dedicated athlete, and a team leader.  You are a faithful Christian who believes in a higher power.  You are a loyal friend, a loving son and a mostly patient big brother.  You are family oriented and a much loved grandson, nephew and cousin.  These character traits aren't going to change...you are who you are.

Who you are is different from what you will do.  Yet who you are will inspire what you do.  I have faith that the strong spirited, beautiful person you are today will continue to inspire you to be better only than the person you were the day before. Keep growing, reaching far and wide and deep, experiencing with open eyes and heart, dreaming big and evolving always.  That is the best gift you can not only give yourself, but also others because the world needs passionate people with kind hearts and fierce determination.

Your roots are established Teddy.  Now it's time to spread your very own wings.

I love you and am beaming with pride,

Mom

two day pass

the weekend was one of the best in awhile.

that's because we had few obligations, aka an abundance of free time.

free time we quickly filled with pursuits and activities (or inactivities) pleasing in the moment.

it went something like this...

read my girly novel, nap with peanut, read some more, rouse for a family bike ride on a beautiful, breezy friday eve, make a new salmon recipe for dinner with coach, to softball practice early saturday, write while they sweat, make a starbucks stop with the girls, cheer teddy's tigers on to victory, garden the afternoon away, weed, plant, water, home run derby at the fields which teddy wins, happy hour while the dough rises, family pizza night at home, up early with the birds sunday, read a few joan didion essays, do a couple loads of laundry, make a couple sauces with leftover fresh herbs, log some miles while the rest of the family rides the nearby trails, make blts for lunch with tomatoes that taste like summer served with a side of the sweetest watermelon ever, nap with tigger in the breeze that feels like summer, read, take lily shopping, see ted off for a sunday evening scrimmage, play an hour long game of uno with coach and lily while the rain comes down in sheets, gather for a steak and potato sunday dinner, read with lily until lights out ready for the onset of the last week of school and more long, lingering days of summer.

On My Mind Monday

In brief, people with self-respect exhibit a certain toughness, a kind of moral nerve; they display what was once called character, a quality which, although approved in the abstract, sometimes loses
 ground to other, more instantly negotiable virtues.  . . . Nonetheless, character—the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life—is the source from which self-respect springs.

~ Joan Didion

On Self-Respect

Didion was in her twenties when she wrote this. Moral nerve is one of the sharpest definitions of character I have encountered in all forty something of my years.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

Although we overslept this morning, no one went hungry or was late for work or school.

Hello Fresh.  I came home to find our order had been delivered yesterday. The produce was beautiful.  Last night I made BBQ Rubbed Pork Chops with Spicy Plum Relish and Cilantro-Lime Forbidden Rice, which is black rice. The meat and relish were delish, but the rice didn't excite us in appearance or taste.  Not to mention I failed to get all the sand out of the beautiful chard despite rinsing it twice. I've been in a bit of a rut in the kitchen so the timing was appreciated.  We also have a salmon and a chicken dish so the final verdict is yet to be delivered.

Our resident artiste'.  Her study of the pear is quite something special and her portrait of Robin Roberts is not only identifiable, but also impressive.

Hydrangeas.

Rainy spring days.

Yummy simplicity on a busy weeknight.

The attention to detail T. Bone showed in completing his storybook for Spanish.

A lovely celebration of our student of the quarter.  We had such a nice evening honoring Lily and spending quality time with all of her teachers.

This line I came across in Anne Lamott's Small Victories:  We think we're humans having spiritual experiences, but we're really spirits having human experiences.  Amen!

And these Hemmingway words that have been dancing around my brain this week:  The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice.  Ironically, their virtues make them vulnerable: they are often wounded.  Sometimes destroyed.

The first nectarines of the season.

Backyard boys.

I finished Addario's This is What I Do, and while I enjoyed it, I have to say her true gift is photography. Her writing lacked the same level of revelation and insight that her images offer.  She is made of grit though...tenacious and brave and perhaps, a tad bit mad.

A weekend with no plans except to work hard and play hard, and finish my book if Peanut let's me.

2 day pass

1 end of 8th grade bbq with friends.
10 boys and 1 unfazed lil bit.
1 graduation party.
1 ladies lunch.
1 girls dinner.
6 hours at babysitting 101.
1 completion certificate.
1 rainy saturday movie marathon.
6 hours spent watching interstellar 2 times.
1 welcome to high school dance.
1 sleepover.
2 baseball games.
3 bins of weeds.
1 sunday dinner/ game night.
5 days until we can do it again.

On My Mind Monday

Maybe we've spent too long trying to figure all this out with theory. Love is the one thing that transcends time and space.

~Interstellar

Sci-fi has never been my genre and I'm rather over Matthew McConaughey these days, but I think I liked this film more than I expected.  I'm on the fence over whether the message was sappy like a Hallmark card or more organic and far reaching.  I'm a little confused.  What with time manipulation and astrophysics it was a lot to process and assimilate.  And don't get me started on all the story contrivances and plot holes.  There were plenty of plot holes to go along with the worm hole and black holes.  I was just glad Coach was beside me talking me through all the science.  And I guess at the end of the day, any movie that makes me think and question whether sci-fi or sappy is worth it.