Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

A fabulous invitational last weekend. We had a fun and very late ladies night on Friday. Saturday was more fun and also more tame.

Party hair.

A midweek night out with my girl. We enjoyed the beautiful weather and the busy city.

  

These sweet little plants and the surprise visit with my kind frister who dropped them off just because.

Manis and pedis with my girl. Beachy blue for her and pretty in pink for me.

Pink jeans.

A big pot of risotto for dinner last Sunday. I didn't use any white wine this batch. Only a roasted chicken stock and it was delicious.

An Instagram break.

Lavender. In my yard. In my closet.

Sleeping with the windows open.

This morning I heard Vivaldi as I passed by Teddy's closed door. It's his new alarm. When I left for work, he was up studying this investment program he's interested in.

He and his friends went to see Lion King the other night. They're growing up, but they haven't outgrown  Disney movies.

Dinner with Jess this week. She came to watch one of Lil's games and then we had delicious grilled chicken Parmesan sandwiches topped with a tatsy fresh tomato and garlic sauce. Just the girls. We also had some laughs playing marry, kiss or kill and doing imitations.

A walk with Candace last night. I absolutely would not have gone if we didn't have a date. I was tired and it was hot. As is always the case, I was so glad that I did go.

Culpable. It's my current Podcast of choice.

I requested quite a stack of books from the library. This has been a summer of not reading much, but I'm super excited about all these titles so hopefully that will change.

Bowls of cherries.

Summer living.

I Could Get Used To This

This is shaping up to be a quintessential mid-summer week. We're finally in the groove. I'm in the groove. That groove changes from day to day. There in lies the challenge. But also the beauty.

Most days involve golf for Ted. This week he's playing in the Junior Masters. Another friend is also playing and the two of them are accompanied by two friends who are their caddies. Something about this makes me smile.

Lily has a couple handful more softball games and one more tournament and then her golf season starts. It'll be good for her. She's a bit of a homebody in the summer. Not always by choice, but she doesn't complain. I worry about her spending so much time home by herself.

That's why after a tough post work workout, I suggested we get out of the house to get dinner. We went back and forth on a place until I suggested we head downtown to a spot on the river we like I didn't necessarily feel like trekking downtown after a long day, but I saw that suggestion excited Lil. That made it worth it. Not to mention it was the perfect night for outdoor dining. The restaurant was slammed for that reason, but we didn't mind watching seagulls and boats and scooters while we waited. The city was a bit abuzz. After we finished our salads, we went for a walk about to see some of the pieces in the Sculpture Milwaukee exhibit and take some pictures. I would have been happy to walk all the way up the avenue to the lake, but my companion was ready to head home. Instead we drove along the lake with the windows down and a welcome breeze blowing.

I was up in time to fit in a brisk walk this morning. I started with a pullover that I quickly had to shed. It's going to be another beautiful day. Soon I'm headed to the farmer's market hoping to score some tomatoes for a fresh sauce I want to make for my grilled chicken tonight. Jess is coming to Lil's game and then she will stay for dinner. I'm not sure if Ted will be home. If not he'll enjoy the leftovers later.

As much as I crave routine, there is something pleasant when days and nights unfold as they will. It's about this time every summer I start to embrace the unforced, unbidden rhythm of these lazy days. This is the season of coulds not shoulds.

Heard

I overslept this morning. You know when you wake up out of a sound sleep and just know it is later than you intended before even opening your eyes to confirm the position of the sun? Yet I was ready to exit the dream sequence I was caught in. I was giving the silent treatment to someone who hurt my feelings. And the most disturbing part of the dream was that upon waking, I realized that I'd done that in real life to this person when I felt wronged. As if friends can read our minds. How many times have I reminded others to use their words?

I stayed up later than planned last night because Miss Lil came down and joined me in the kitchen and we got to chatting. It's not often that she wants to talk these days so I decided right then and there that I would stay up and then sleep in a bit. It was a good conversation about what doesn't really matter. What's worth mentioning is that we were sharing our thoughts, feelings and also a few laughs. My girl she has a lot of insight and a big, kind heart. Both serve her well in life.

We traveled almost an hour away for her soft ball game earlier in the evening. Coach Dad is away on business this week so it was just the two of us. When we got there, I reclined my seat and unapologetically took an exquisite nap in the car while the team warmed up. Exquisite because the windows were open and through them was blowing the most delicate of breezes. Also the sounds of birds chirping, fans cheering, teammates encouraging. After about 20 minutes, I set up my chair on the side lines just as the game was starting. It was a quick contest against a team that is much more seasoned than our young group of girls. Lily had the one and only hit of the game - a double. She had only one at bat. Some of the parents and the coach were disgruntled by the way the opponent was aggressively running up the score, but not Lil. On the way home, she acknowledged that the other team did nothing unsportwomanlike. They played hard and they played to win. In this day of trying to paint everyone as winners, I found her frank acceptance healthy. Some win. Some lose. We shake hands and all move on. It was a perfect night for a ball game. No time was wasted.

She read a blog post I'd written the other night. I'm not sure which one, but it doesn't matter. She told me it was sweet and that it made her cry. Sweet tears of joy because she felt what a love letter this space is for my family. I write here as much for them as I do for myself. That she recognized this was a beautiful moment for me. Whether we win or lose, we all just want to be acknowledged, appreciated, heard.

Smack Dab

We're here. The middle of summer. That time when back to school ads start dominating and the Christmas countdown begins. I despise them both. I like to savor and eke. Anything that hints at endings is just not my favorite. Yet I confess, I've started to shop for Ted's dorm room. It makes me feel a little less anxious about what is to come and as if I actually have a semblance of control. It's all mind games I know. I cannot even fathom preparing for Christmas at this point. Anything I buy now I'll either misplace and forget, or give prematurely as in right now. I am terrible at holding out.

Ted made me his famous banana pancakes tonight. They were delicious and I'm not a pancake girl so that's quite a compliment. I don't think I have to worry about him starving when he goes off to college and not just because he has the Cadillac meal plan, which I've been assured has come such a long long way in the past three decades. It was a sweet mother son dinner. And he did almost all the dishes. What a guy!

Dad and daughter are at a double header. Thankfully, the night is quite beautiful despite the humidity. The other night they fixed her swing in the back yard before dinner so I cannot wait to hear about her at bats. She's passionate about this game and I love that about her.

Candace and I enjoyed a hot, sweaty walk late afternoon. Having her beside me is great motivation. We hydrated with chilled white wine post miles. It's our reward. Mid way through the park we saw Ted. Candace recognized him before I did. He was running hills before going to the club to lift weights. Oh to be young. He invited her for dinner. She appreciated the gesture.We sent him on his way with a book from the park library on motivation - something he is very motivated by these days.

I am motivated by the joy in these sweet summer days and nights. My family is all together for one last summer. Each day has it's own cadence, but the rhythm is upbeat and simpatico. I'm choosing not to be off put by chaos or sloth or dirty dishes. It is life. My lavender is profuse and my hydrangeas are so bountiful they are dragging. The pitcher of tea is always full in my refrigerator. Zucchini and tomatoes are for sale fresh at the farmer market every week. Cherries are ripe. A nap after work is a reward. Dinner is at 8'ish most nights. Family dinner. I'm sleeping well and waking with a purpose to be grateful every day. Grateful for a job I love, relationships I cherish, good health and a happy heart. And maybe an understanding more than ever that life is not perfect, but it's damn good. And also an appreciation of enough. I don't count my blessings, I simply say thank you that I am here where I am with these people I do life with. I cannot think of a better place to be.

These Are The Days

I was up early this morning, but not before T Bone. I was greeted by a note on the counter and a dirty pan in the sink. The note said that he was at his buddy's watching the sunrise and then caddying. Last night I packed his backpack full of all the s'more stuff the kids never touched at the party. He was headed to the China Buffet, which he was not happy about because he doesn't see the value. After filling up on sub-par Chinese, they were going to have a bonfire and swim in the lake. One of his friends was home from camp just for the night and the plan was to maximize their time together. I'm surprised Ted let them sleep. Just the other day he was waxing on about how they need to get up earlier and stay up later. He wants to eke out every last minute of this good life they have.

He skipped joining us at the lake on the 4th. He opted instead for a game of ultimate Frisbee with his boys. I know he's feeling how quickly the time is passing. In weeks now they will all go their separate ways. It's exciting and terrifying and happysad. When we came home from Windmill Beach yesterday, Teddy was making breakfast for his buddies. Smoothies were the first course followed by bacon and eggs.

He's all about making plans, living his best life, being present. If all I've taught him is to be.here.now. that is enough.

He asked for my library card yesterday. He went to pick up a book on motivation. I was lounging in my bed and he slid in beside me with his book in hand. I made the comment that I really liked this version of Ted. As much as I love to read, my children do not. He proceeded to read me passages. There was much YOLO and move out of your comfort zone, get out of your own way. It's all good, worthy stuff.

Later we sat around the kitchen island and had a family brainstorming session. Ted wants to start not one, but two businesses. In his words, "I'm ready for the grind." He knows he just needs that nugget called a good idea. He's writing a business plan for one idea he plans to develop with Jackson and John. He and Auggie are putting their heads together on another idea.

The thing is...I think he'll do it. Maybe not now and maybe not with them, but at some point I do think he'll set a little corner of the world on fire.

And speaking of fire and the freedom to control our own destinies, the 4th was a fantastic day. The night before, Mike and I fessed up that we were missing our annual celebration. We woke on the holiday to heat and humidity and were grateful to be going to the lake. We stopped for ice and fresh strawberries on the way. The farm literally closed as we were pulling out of the lot. It was a chill afternoon of cold cocktails, the warmth of the sun and a refreshing Lake Michigan. Lily and Isabel spent the afternoon in and on the water. They took turns kayaking and paddle boarding. Just as we came up from the beach to clean up before dinner, a late afternoon squall blew in. It cleared up in time for fireworks. They were going off all along the shore from dusk until well after dark. It's my favorite way to firework.

Dinner was the best bbq chicken I've had in a long time and then we played a very competitive game of Pictionary. No one ever won. The girls settled in for a scary movie. The boys called it a night. Ashley and I almost stayed up to watch the sun rise. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

To say that yesterday was a lazy day is an understatement. And yet it was good. And it's only Saturday. Candace is on her way. We're going for a walk. We have company coming for dinner tonight. More good food, fireworks, fun in the purview. This is summer.